[MCR100]

I need advise on how to orgasm with my boyfriend. He's the only guy I've been with and we've been sleeping together for about 6 months. I can't seem to orgasm at all with him, he fingers me, eats me out, everything but nothing. It feels good but I can't seem to even get close to orgasm. (I worry the foreplay and sex doesn't last long enough).


I don't have any problem orgasming by myself, I could do that 3 times a day. I've tried self stimulation while having sex but that doesn't work either. I brought up using a vibrator once but that kind of made him feel bad that he couldn't do it for me.

Any advise helps!

[sungem77]

when you say "I worry the foreplay and sex doesn't last long enough" maybe it doesn't. You need to be relaxed to have an orgasm and watching the clock isn't relaxing. women can take a lot longer than men to get fully aroused. are you stopping because you feel badly about how long it takes you?

[Element]

My man is my first and only and I had the same problem. Everything felt great but I just couldn't get there. A woman has to do the hardest thing in order to cum and orgasm; shut her mind up and just enjoy.

Since your man is your first and only as well, I suggest starting out with some foreplay; with you guiding him. Move his hand to where and how you like to be touched, caressed, and guide him where to kiss you, nip, bite, lick; whatever it is that you like. Even if it's needed; use his hand to masturbate yourself. EVERY woman is different. What works for one women is NOT the combination to getting another woman off. So he needs to learn what your combination is. And you two can learn this together. You feel when to change things up for yourself, he'll learn the signs of when to change things up. Until then, he's the student; you're the teacher.

Personally, I have found that foreplay until I need him now is when it's best to start the sex. Shutting your mind up and just enjoying will take time. I found that closing my eyes and forcing myself to just focus on what I'm feeling is the best way for me to shut my mind up and just enjoy. My man is understanding of this and knows not to take it personally. I love watching my man, seeing him, running my hands on him, so when I do close my eyes; it's to enjoy, it's to just fall into the pleasures I'm feeling and let my body release.

A good part of it is the positions. There's certain positions that give you the full stimulation that is needed for your release. So switching things up when you start "getting there" can help. Also if you have certain physical spots on your body that turn you on, have him stimulate those, or do it yourself. Men love watching their women do what's needed to get themselves off.

The funnest part of sex is exploring. You'll find positions that get you going, and positions that will finish you. Some will get you there quick, some will make you love it nice and slow. It's great fun to find out and then when the time comes for slow love making, or quickies; you know what needs to be done so you get yours.

[Marie123]

When you say you have no trouble getting there yourself, do you get there by hand or by vibe?

[MCR100]

when you say "I worry the foreplay and sex doesn't last long enough" maybe it doesn't. You need to be relaxed to have an orgasm and watching the clock isn't relaxing. women can take a lot longer than men to get fully aroused. are you stopping because you feel badly about how long it takes you?

It's not so much that I watch the clock as it is he doesn't do it long enough. I try and relax and there is no question it feels good, but i've never finished... Then by the time we actually have sex, he doesn't last very long.

[MCR100]

When you say you have no trouble getting there yourself, do you get there by hand or by vibe?

Now a days it's always my hand.

[MCR100]

My man is my first and only and I had the same problem. Everything felt great but I just couldn't get there. A woman has to do the hardest thing in order to cum and orgasm; shut her mind up and just enjoy.

Since your man is your first and only as well, I suggest starting out with some foreplay; with you guiding him. Move his hand to where and how you like to be touched, caressed, and guide him where to kiss you, nip, bite, lick; whatever it is that you like. Even if it's needed; use his hand to masturbate yourself. EVERY woman is different. What works for one women is NOT the combination to getting another woman off. So he needs to learn what your combination is. And you two can learn this together. You feel when to change things up for yourself, he'll learn the signs of when to change things up. Until then, he's the student; you're the teacher.

Personally, I have found that foreplay until I need him now is when it's best to start the sex. Shutting your mind up and just enjoying will take time. I found that closing my eyes and forcing myself to just focus on what I'm feeling is the best way for me to shut my mind up and just enjoy. My man is understanding of this and knows not to take it personally. I love watching my man, seeing him, running my hands on him, so when I do close my eyes; it's to enjoy, it's to just fall into the pleasures I'm feeling and let my body release.

A good part of it is the positions. There's certain positions that give you the full stimulation that is needed for your release. So switching things up when you start "getting there" can help. Also if you have certain physical spots on your body that turn you on, have him stimulate those, or do it yourself. Men love watching their women do what's needed to get themselves off.

The funnest part of sex is exploring. You'll find positions that get you going, and positions that will finish you. Some will get you there quick, some will make you love it nice and slow. It's great fun to find out and then when the time comes for slow love making, or quickies; you know what needs to be done so you get yours.

Thanks so much for your advise! It helps me realize I can actually do it and there is hope for me! Now I just need to learn not to be so shy in the bedroom and speak up to tell him exactly what I want!

[Marie123]

Come back and update us with successes!

[hs1015]

I need advise on how to orgasm with my boyfriend. He's the only guy I've been with and we've been sleeping together for about 6 months. I can't seem to orgasm at all with him, he fingers me, eats me out, everything but nothing. It feels good but I can't seem to even get close to orgasm. (I worry the foreplay and sex doesn't last long enough).


I don't have any problem orgasming by myself, I could do that 3 times a day. I've tried self stimulation while having sex but that doesn't work either. I brought up using a vibrator once but that kind of made him feel bad that he couldn't do it for me.

Any advise helps!

Hello,

I used to have the same problem. You should try to be on top of him. Say he is laying down on the bed, legs straight, you would get on top of him BACKWARDS, not facing him, your butt would face him. Then start riding him back and forth, you can even grab his, you know, boys, and push that against your, you know. LOL. It's kinda hard to describe but that was one of the only ways I could feel an orgasm. Hope that helps. Let me know if it did .

[BabyGirl]

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Edited Spam here for professional advice and information and here, Female Sexual Dysfunction and Response: Orgasm, Lack of interest, Painful Sex
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