[somerandomguy]

No, what I meant was, if you and your partner are mutually secure in your relationship then those type of issues become irrelevant.

Again, I do not think I quite understand what you mean (maybe I am taking it too literary). To me, it sounds as though your definition of a secure couple implies that the couple, by default, is OK with everything. Including bringing third parties into the bedroom. That, because they feel secure about what they have, there is nothing that can rip them apart.

While cuckolds will have a different perception than yours, what holds true for one set of humans doesn't necessarily hold true for others. Having said that, what does hold true for any relationship are the basic deal breakers i.e lack of clear communication about dos and don'ts, likes and dislikes. All I said was when it comes to evaluating a male about his "skillfulness", size does not factor in the top list of benchmarks.

Yet, you never see a black cuckold or an Asian bull...

[CoolBreeze]

I can't post a link, but you can search for sperm war related writings of Dr. Susan Block. Very good and informative.

No, what I meant was, if you and your partner are mutually secure in your relationship then those type of issues become irrelevant. While cuckolds will have a different perception than yours, what holds true for one set of humans doesn't necessarily hold true for others. Having said that, what does hold true for any relationship are the basic deal breakers i.e lack of clear communication about dos and don'ts, likes and dislikes. All I said was when it comes to evaluating a male about his "skillfulness", size does not factor in the top list of benchmarks.

Please elaborate on the "sperm war"?



(I could have misunderstood you but here goes)
So what? If one half of a relationship does not want to participate in threesomes or use toys or whatever, does that make that person insecure? An insecurity that is inevitably bound to make the relationship less than optimal, as a whole? Are you telling me that being a cuckold is the ultimate form of security in oneself? That only cuckold men are truly capable of experiencing the full potential of a relationship (at least regarding physical pleasure/intimacy)? In my mind, the cuckold is being played for a fool by his wife and her bull. The bull getting to have all the fun without any of the responsibilities and the wife getting to experience different lovers while at the same time ripping the benefits of the married life (financial and social security). During all this, the husband is left to his Beta-male thoughts: “Now sit over there and have your frustrated erection, while we have all the fun”.

[somerandomguy]

FTWOTHE YES.

You can translate that

Yes, at the bottom first. Are you truly with someone you 'LOVE?' There have been umpteen discussions on sexual equality between couples or not. Especially, those that are virgins and marry only to find out they are not compatible but are they not? Or neither are open minded enough to experiment with each other to find what turns each other on and therefore, create the intimacy that is desired, required, needed.....

I think that "though" a woman knows how to stimulate herself more so than a man will know, as each woman is different, a shirt load of work for a man to work that out but he can. If he cares enough. I don't believe that he shouldn't nor should she back at him. It should be interesting, exciting. The biggest problem that I have read on here, is that, no one takes the time really.. Other than the older people, and I mean that in a nice way. They learnt what went wrong and make the effort and seem to enjoy that they have and the outcome.

It could be age.

My ex was possessive he would stare in a threatening way. Drove me nuts, if I am with someone that's it. If it's not meant to be I walk before I do anything.

But, I get that feeling of fear. It's one word I don't use, don't feel, I've experienced too much at an early age and with animals and things in life that I turn fear into there is a positive ...

Same, if a woman cheated ... or a man... You have to note that that is not what you entered the relationship for and therefore the person was not who you are meant to be with. More importantly you are WORTH more........and should smile in that knowing yet, so many cry for so long and pine. For what? Move on, know your worth.

You have your head screwed on the right way with a sense of humor...as well. But like everyone there are some areas that are grey that shouldn't be.

It's about "who" not "what" we go out with.

First I would like to say: Nicely put!

Second, I was not able to translate the 'FTWOTHE YES'. Sorry, Google did not have the answer.

When it comes to me being possessive of my girl. I did not mean that I give her the evil eye every time she looks at a member of the male population. I meant that I do not want to share her with another guy. In other words, no threesome.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

FTWOTHE YES.

You can translate that

Yes, at the bottom first. Are you truly with someone you 'LOVE?' There have been umpteen discussions on sexual equality between couples or not. Especially, those that are virgins and marry only to find out they are not compatible but are they not? Or neither are open minded enough to experiment with each other to find what turns each other on and therefore, create the intimacy that is desired, required, needed.....

I think that "though" a woman knows how to stimulate herself more so than a man will know, as each woman is different, a shirt load of work for a man to work that out but he can. If he cares enough. I don't believe that he shouldn't nor should she back at him. It should be interesting, exciting. The biggest problem that I have read on here, is that, no one takes the time really.. Other than the older people, and I mean that in a nice way. They learnt what went wrong and make the effort and seem to enjoy that they have and the outcome.

It could be age.

My ex was possessive he would stare in a threatening way. Drove me nuts, if I am with someone that's it. If it's not meant to be I walk before I do anything.

But, I get that feeling of fear. It's one word I don't use, don't feel, I've experienced too much at an early age and with animals and things in life that I turn fear into there is a positive ...

Same, if a woman cheated ... or a man... You have to note that that is not what you entered the relationship for and therefore the person was not who you are meant to be with. More importantly you are WORTH more........and should smile in that knowing yet, so many cry for so long and pine. For what? Move on, know your worth.

You have your head screwed on the right way with a sense of humor...as well. But like everyone there are some areas that are grey that shouldn't be.

It's about "who" not "what" we go out with.

[somerandomguy]

Can you translate that? Just kidding don't you dare

I would never

I guess it's fair to say that people are all different aren't they? One says "oh introduce another woman", so this points to morals I believe, lack off.. and freedom to have an open relationship of sorts.

I think if you have morals, there is no way you will ever introduce anyone into your lives. It could destroy it. Or is that just that you are monogamous ?

I think it might be that you are monogamous, yes. I know that, myself, I am a bit possessive when it comes to the girl I am with. But, in addition, I also am like "do not bother me; I am with her" whenever other girls are acting a bit more friendly than I would like, when I am in a relationship.

I am one of Earth. Sensuality. I bet toys are good, but I believe a lover between the pair of you can work out all your spots and therefore, it's not a necessity.

Now to say something out of the blue.

Back in 2008 I stated this so I have to be honest. I was single for 18 months once, longest stretch. I found ways with "toys" my own design not a dildo and it was very interesting to say the least to find ways for myself. And, it kept me "loyal" to myself one thing I truly wanted for the hopeful "husband" that would enter my life. I learnt a lot.

So I can not condone toys and I know I have. But in the sense that if you are in a relationship and at 50 I have had a few, I don't see the need, I'd rather guide and be guided and find and I've never had the need for them...

If
THAT
makes
SENSE

It makes total sense. I also feel that if you introduce toys (especially ones that are supposed to mimic body parts (read: dildos)), then you kind of increase the emotional distance between yourselves. Does that make any sense?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I was like Dubbyah Tee Eff!?!?!

Can you translate that? Just kidding don't you dare

I guess it's fair to say that people are all different aren't they? One says "oh introduce another woman", so this points to morals I believe, lack off.. and freedom to have an open relationship of sorts.

I think if you have morals, there is no way you will ever introduce anyone into your lives. It could destroy it. Or is that just that you are monogamous ?

I am one of Earth. Sensuality. I bet toys are good, but I believe a lover between the pair of you can work out all your spots and therefore, it's not a necessity.

Now to say something out of the blue.

Back in 2008 I stated this so I have to be honest. I was single for 18 months once, longest stretch. I found ways with "toys" my own design not a dildo and it was very interesting to say the least to find ways for myself. And, it kept me "loyal" to myself one thing I truly wanted for the hopeful "husband" that would enter my life. I learnt a lot.

So I can not condone toys and I know I have. But in the sense that if you are in a relationship and at 50 I have had a few, I don't see the need, I'd rather guide and be guided and find and I've never had the need for them...

If
THAT
makes
SENSE

[somerandomguy]

I know. I believe you. What an idiot.

This!

This is in fact one of my fears. However, I now understand that "big" or "small" would depend on the woman. I think I asked you before what your size was. I've posted mine several times, but I will again. Right now I'm 5.75" (very close to 6" yay!!)

I'm now sure some women would find that the perfect size. Some would find it too small. I wonder if some might even find it too big. This is why, as silly as it sounds, this is something that I will probably try to find out from women before there's a chance of heavy relationship stuff going on.

I have not measured my penis (yet). Based on perceptiveness alone, I would say mine is average. At best.

By the way, thanks for the girth-information you provided in one of your previous posts.

I didn't want to be in a threesome with the first gf, but she was insisting. This is when things started to break down. Interesting question. She wanted another woman friend to be with me. I was really uncomfortable with the whole idea because I only wanted her, not her friends too, but she was immature and had that princess attitude all hot girls seem to have nowadays. It's like a plague.

I would not want to participate in a girl-boy-girl-threesome either. Mostly out of fear of it coming back to bite me in the future; the girl might want to engage in a boy-girl-boy-threesome later on. I will say this right now; there is only room for one penis in my fantasies (mine).

Side note coming up.
On one of the threads I read where a woman was asking for advice on what to do about her husbands "small" penis (divorce him or get a lover), one of the other women gave her the following advice. She said to introduce another woman into their sex life. Since a woman is not something the husband could compete with, there was no need for him to feel threatened by her. According to the adviser, the experience with a woman is different from the experience with a man. Then this other woman went on to say that once the husband had gotten used to a third person in the bedroom, the wife should swipe the woman for a black man. Her excuse was the same: the experience with a black man would be something completely different and thus nothing the husband could compete with (!). And just like that, she could have a lover alongside the husband. The best part? The husband would be totally OK with it. Yay! Everybody wins!

I was like Dubbyah Tee Eff!?!?!

I do not know if this other woman was serious about the advice she was giving. I do not even know if it really was a woman to begin with (the user name was a regular female first name, but I did not stick around this thread long enough to find out). It could just have been a black guy, who was trying to promote his business (sarcastic).

I dislike anal because of the idea that the rectum is meant for expulsion of biologic waste from the body. It wasn't meant to have a penis introduced into it.

Second, I don't believe there's any physical pleasure that the woman can get from anal other than the physiological pleasure of knowing her man is enjoying something he wanted. Personally I think it's selfish and self serving. It's like asking your woman to give you a hand job, and you get off, and then go to sleep or something. Where was her enjoyment in that?

I respect your view on anal. I myself would probably never even mention it unless the girl brought it up first. For me it falls under the things I am OK with, if the girl wants/asks for it.

Toys are different because for the most part, as I've stated in other posts, women need to have clit stimulation to get off no matter what size the penis is. I have absolutely no need to feel "macho" thinking that my thrusting alone will get a woman off. I don't care. I would rather do whatever she knows will get her off and learn that. Both women I've been with needed to play with their clits to get off even when I was inside them. If they like a toy to do that for them I'm happy to oblige. I'm not sure how I'd feel if they really liked a long dildo. I'd probably suspect this woman is one of the ones needing a larger penis to enjoy it more. Neither woman I've been with has used any toys at all. My current lady likes her clit and g-spot rubbed (it's about 3" in her? definitely have the length to hit hers with what I have)

Anyway, giving pleasure to my woman is very intimate. Never had toys come into the conversation, but not opposed to them if she wanted to try one.

You have said this before and maybe I do not understand things right. I was under the impression that, basically, the penis never stimulates the clitoris during intercourse, because of where it (the clitoris) is placed. I see separate stimulation of the clitoris as the norm.

By the way, the toys you are talking about sound like they are small, vibrator-type toys. You know, the kind that is mainly for stimulating the clitoris. Those, I do not mind either. It is when the girl wants to introduce dildos into the game that lights start going off in my head.

[Obelisk]

But, the person I married changed the day we married and so life goes on, you know?

I know. I believe you. What an idiot.

What is important is keep your morals but, but, but, don't put yourself down enough people have done that in your life

Well I am where I am today due to my intense desire to change myself physically. It's as simple as that. I know what I am mentally, but nobody cares about that. They just see what's outside and judge you based on that alone.

there are less endowed lovers who rock a woman's world with their skill and good EQ levels.

You bring up an interesting point. Something I've read is that the really well endowed guys always struggle to have good EQ levels (usually simply on the fact that there's so much member to fill with blood). I honestly don't know about that, but would like you gals' experiences with that. I personally have zero issues with that and usually have very good EQ (phew!)

I also know that "if she starts complaining about your penis being prohibitively small, maybe there is a completely different reason behind her grief". The reality is that there are women who, after several years of marriage, turn to their husband and tell him that his penis is not big enough.

This is in fact one of my fears. However, I now understand that "big" or "small" would depend on the woman. I think I asked you before what your size was. I've posted mine several times, but I will again. Right now I'm 5.75" (very close to 6" yay!!)

I'm now sure some women would find that the perfect size. Some would find it too small. I wonder if some might even find it too big. This is why, as silly as it sounds, this is something that I will probably try to find out from women before there's a chance of heavy relationship stuff going on.

So what? If one half of a relationship does not want to participate in threesomes or use toys or whatever, does that make that person insecure?

I didn't want to be in a threesome with the first gf, but she was insisting. This is when things started to break down. Interesting question. She wanted another woman friend to be with me. I was really uncomfortable with the whole idea because I only wanted her, not her friends too, but she was immature and had that princess attitude all hot girls seem to have nowadays. It's like a plague.

First you say that you dislike anal because of the lack of intimacy (you can have anal sex facing each other, btw). But then you say that you are OK with the woman using toys. Where is the intimacy in that?

I dislike anal because of the idea that the rectum is meant for expulsion of biologic waste from the body. It wasn't meant to have a penis introduced into it.

Second, I don't believe there's any physical pleasure that the woman can get from anal other than the physiological pleasure of knowing her man is enjoying something he wanted. Personally I think it's selfish and self serving. It's like asking your woman to give you a hand job, and you get off, and then go to sleep or something. Where was her enjoyment in that?

Toys are different because for the most part, as I've stated in other posts, women need to have clit stimulation to get off no matter what size the penis is. I have absolutely no need to feel "macho" thinking that my thrusting alone will get a woman off. I don't care. I would rather do whatever she knows will get her off and learn that. Both women I've been with needed to play with their clits to get off even when I was inside them. If they like a toy to do that for them I'm happy to oblige. I'm not sure how I'd feel if they really liked a long dildo. I'd probably suspect this woman is one of the ones needing a larger penis to enjoy it more. Neither woman I've been with has used any toys at all. My current lady likes her clit and g-spot rubbed (it's about 3" in her? definitely have the length to hit hers with what I have)

Anyway, giving pleasure to my woman is very intimate. Never had toys come into the conversation, but not opposed to them if she wanted to try one.

[somerandomguy]

As a guy, I'm perplexed as to why men like anal. Supposedly something about the tightness? I don't care to find out, the idea is nasty to me. I don't care if the woman's vagina is a bit looser if it's between that and anal. I like the intimacy of facing each other which these weird positions don't achieve.

Also not a fan of getting a bj. Had it done before, couldn't get the point of it at all.

Toys is a completely different field IMO. I would be intimidated absolutely zero if a woman liked a large dildo. A large toy does not compare to a well endowed man the woman might remember from her past. And I don't think there's anything a guy can do, no matter his size that will be able to beat the feeling a vibe will give to a woman's clit. That's just the biomechanics of it. At least there's that, so theoretically, penis size should not factor much into pleasing a woman as long as you know your way around her vagina and how to get it off in other ways lol.

First you say that you dislike anal because of the lack of intimacy (you can have anal sex facing each other, btw). But then you say that you are OK with the woman using toys. Where is the intimacy in that?

[somerandomguy]

1. No not necessarily, it could also include different racial choices to spice up ones intimate life. Humiliation could be one of the kinky aspects but the "sperm war" phenomenon has been described more aptly as being the reason for arousing the "Beta-Male".

Please elaborate on the "sperm war"?

Again there are no absolutes or minimums or maximums when two humans exercise intimacy. As long as both of you make it a point to pleasure the other physically and mentally to their best efforts, while making incremental steps to improve and avoid stagnation, then your physical relationship curve would move only up and beyond. The more secure a relationship is questions like open/close, toys no-toys, use of this or that become incrementally redundant.

(I could have misunderstood you but here goes)
So what? If one half of a relationship does not want to participate in threesomes or use toys or whatever, does that make that person insecure? An insecurity that is inevitably bound to make the relationship less than optimal, as a whole? Are you telling me that being a cuckold is the ultimate form of security in oneself? That only cuckold men are truly capable of experiencing the full potential of a relationship (at least regarding physical pleasure/intimacy)? In my mind, the cuckold is being played for a fool by his wife and her bull. The bull getting to have all the fun without any of the responsibilities and the wife getting to experience different lovers while at the same time ripping the benefits of the married life (financial and social security). During all this, the husband is left to his Beta-male thoughts: “Now sit over there and have your frustrated erection, while we have all the fun”.