[jns]

panda, take note of what CW has said. Your boyfriend contracting out giving you pleasure can be a slippery slope in many ways and may have unintended consequences. Breaking up of a relationship because of jealousy is definitely possible. Further, without him learning what to do and becoming comfortable doing it means that the situation will never get better.

Assuming all of the objections and jealousy issues had already been dealt with and I was my single younger self, I would possibly have been interested with a few caveats:
First, that I not be thought of as hired help.
Second, no return pleasuring is necessary, although it may be appreciated. My payment is getting better at giving oral to a lady (yes, there is a learning curve and additional practice should bring additional skill). Additional payment will be in the form of having you writhe and moan as you climax.
Third, you have to be free of disease as possible, so that includes testing and pledging to not go outside of the three of us.
Fourth, no head games from you or your bf. I'll do my best to not play head games, also.
Fifth, I'm not really interested in your bf, so I don't want to be getting seconds.

Generally, from what I know about myself, I would have trouble keeping from falling in love if you have a compatible personality, or I couldn't be bothered if you did not have at least a reasonable personality (from my point of view). Again, all of this would be for me before I got married and when I wasn't in a relationship.

[panda1989]

Panda,

I would still think very carefully about this and make sure your soh is the non jealous type.

Seeing someone else go down on you and watching your reaction, when he personally can not do this for you, may stay in his mind and may disrupt your relationship, he may even get angry or jealous afterwards and feel that you've been touched by another man, regardless of whether or not you have sexual intercourse, give him a bj, hj, with or without a condom.

Do you get turned on by him touching you there with his fingers ? Why not make suggestions first to him in this regard and experiment, at least if he can get you going himself, by the art of his fingers on top there, wet and all He may not care as much.

I am honestly just not too sure as I've seen it backfire many a time here.

We are both very sexual. I have a drawer full of toys. I'll use my vibrator almost every time to cum. He also bought a large vibrating dildo that he loves using on me. We've also had one of my best friends (female) watch us have sex. I just like getting oral sex which we don't do very often at all.

I know exactly where you are coming from. He is the one that actually suggested this. It also turns him on to see other guys get off watching me. We have never tried anything yet and I know that fantasy and reality are two totally different things. That's why I'm a little cautious to take any steps into taking fantasy to reality.

We were thinking of "trying out" a swingers club by just going to watch. Then if things were cool, next time take it another step and have sex in the open so guys can watch. If that was fine, next time have a guy jack off while I danced like a stripper or on all fours wiggling my ***. Yes, we actually taked these fantasies down to the detail If any of these steps made either of us feel uncomfortable in the slightest way, we would end it. Again, this is something that he suggested and it took me some time to warm up to and it actually turn me on slightly. Any thoughts on this? Other recommendations?

[kira]

It was an interesting conversation with my husband when he brought it up. We always joked about me finding another guy since he can't keep up with my sex drive and I was getting depressed over it. I never thought it would be reality. I've been married 4 years now and thought that meant I was going to have to make do with toys. Then it turned out he was already a member of the swinger club forum. I asked him 3 times online and 2 times when he got home from work if it was ok if I found other men to sleep with just to make sure he wasn't joking. Then we had a long conversation about the state and type of our marriage. He checked out the club first and then we setup the account to be a couple's so we could both go (you have to be on the forum and approved with picture to attend).

[Palerider]

It was an interesting conversation with my husband when he brought it up. We always joked about me finding another guy since he can't keep up with my sex drive and I was getting depressed over it. I never thought it would be reality. I've been married 4 years now and thought that meant I was going to have to make do with toys. Then it turned out he was already a member of the swinger club forum. I asked him 3 times online and 2 times when he got home from work if it was ok if I found other men to sleep with just to make sure he wasn't joking. Then we had a long conversation about the state and type of our marriage. He checked out the club first and then we setup the account to be a couple's so we could both go (you have to be on the forum and approved with picture to attend).

You're a lucky woman!

[panda1989]

Anyone that has experience with swingers clubs:
I've read reviews at some clubs that if you have sex in the open, guys will come grope you or come up close and masturbate. Is that true?
How aggressive are the guys there?
Do they walk around masturbating to girls?
Is it common for couples to just go and watch?
I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 32. Any recommendations for younger, selective/exclusive clubs in the L.A. or Chicago area?

Thanks in advance for your feedback!