[shoshannah]

How much do you tell your friends about your sex life? I don't have a lot of close friends, and while at this point (since I now live with my fiance) it's obvious to them that we're having sex, I have said so in so many words only to a very few besties. I have shared a few details with them--pretty bland things like how often fiance and I have sex, what we do for birth control, how often I reach orgasm, etc.--nothing that I think would betray my fiance's confidence--and they often share the same info with me. Usually this exchange is to help us get a "benchmark" and understand whether or not we're average/normal. My besties are usually a little more forthcoming about details than I would be comfortable sharing myself, which makes me wonder whether I'm a prude. Frankly I get most of my info here due to the greater anonymity since I feel like I need information enough to make sure my fiance has no complaints. But how much do other people here share with their real-life friends?

[jen1447]

Oh gosh, my girlfriends and I share everything. I mean, if there were something really sensitive like a sudden bout of ED on the boyfriend's behalf, I would probably withhold that, but most of the 'action' details are fair game. Actually I might even discuss ED if it were to try to help or get info. We have our giggly stuff and our serious stuff, if that helps. Details like "he fired wide left with his load and hit the cat" fall strictly in the giggly and widely shared category.

[Stillness]

I don't discuss it. With very close friends that I've known for a long time things may come up - typically for utilitarian purposes, not just to gab about our sex lives. I try to keep it very general. I feel like that's private and is no one's business. I even think it takes away from the intimacy if people know too much. I had a good buddy that had a very frigid wife that confided in me. We shared more details than I normally would and tried to help each other figure things out, but that was rare.

One of the personal things that comes up regularly, even with strangers and my clients is birth control. It's really awkward and I haven't found out a way to steer around it because people are busybodies. So when the conversation heads down the familiar path that I know will lead to uncomfortable, and sometimes long, discussions like what I can do to get my wife pregnant or how God will bless us with babies I say this: "We don't really want children, but we're not doing anything to not have them. If it happens, it happens." In other words, "We're boning and we don't use birth control, now let's move on."

--------- (Yeah, I made my answer to this simple question so long that I have to divide it.)

I have a buddy from Nigeria who is older than I am. He was a virgin when he married. He asked me to be his best man. I recognized that it was largely because we were not in Nigeria, but it was still a great honor and one of the things I'm proud to say I've been twice.

One of the reasons I was happy, was because my first time as best man for my actual best friend was one of the worst days in my life (story for another day). I was determined to carry out my duties well, so for this one we discussed sex in detail. I actually had the "birds and bees" talk with him. I even gave him condoms from my personal supply (that was what my wife and I used early in our marriage).

It was one of the weirdest moments in my life. Not only was he older than me, but he was a fairly well-respected member of my faith and here I was teaching him how to make love to a woman and giving him my rubbers. The implication was, "This is how I do it with my wife and it works pretty good." Weird. A decade later they're still together and have children, so I guess I taught him well. He didn't name the boy after me, but what can you do.

[rcoreyus]

I never share anything about my sex life. A couple of friends have shared a bit about theirs, and I'm happy to listen to them, but I'm just too private.

[Element]

I think I really share the most with one particular girlfriend of mine. She's also good for pointers and ideas in the bedroom. But there's somethings I don't talk to anyone about because I feel it's too personal of information to go around broadcasting. Somethings need to stay between me and my man.

[atskitty2]

Back when I had a sex life, I shared some general info if it came up. Nothing specific or in depth. I probably wouldn't mind telling more but my girlfriends are generally not interested, or at least, never asked.

[chaya]

The only person I ever shared information about my sex life is my sister. We were very close and told each other everything.

[JonDoe]

We have our giggly stuff and our serious stuff, if that helps. Details like "he fired wide left with his load and hit the cat" fall strictly in the giggly and widely shared category.

HAHAHA. That made me laugh just reading it, and to hear you tell it was probably hysterical.

Puritan undertones must run strong these parts I suppose because my friends (male, female and couples) don't share any details about our sex lives. They have not been very receptive with the topic of sex unless it is joking around in general.

[jen1447]

He actually never did that lol, although I did once .....poor thing never saw it coming.

[a_dub]

He actually never did that lol, although I did once .....poor thing never saw it coming.

Did you squirt on the cat??