[vivrevie]

I've been trying to make myself accept it for since he told me seven years ago. I haven't told him anything that I said on here. He doesn't know how I really feel because I don't want to hurt him. However, after he hit me (one year ago) and had/has this mistress I know that what we are doing isn't working. I feel myself pulling away everyday but because of what happened. I guess I need to go to counseling alone to figure out how to handle this.

[Profal]

He Hit You !!!!

I've been trying to make myself accept it for since he told me seven years ago. I haven't told him anything that I said on here. He doesn't know how I really feel because I don't want to hurt him. However, after he hit me (one year ago) and had/has this mistress I know that what we are doing isn't working. I feel myself pulling away everyday but because of what happened. I guess I need to go to counseling alone to figure out how to handle this.

I don't care about the diaper thing - HE HIT YOU -
That right there is cause for YOU to leave. He has problems that you can't personally fix.
Go live with your parents, or a friend, or anywhere that he is NOT.
THEN, you can try to help him by having him get counseling or some such.
For Better or Worse does NOT mean Better for him and Worse for you.
Exit NOW and save yourself and children from possible future harm.

[HerHusband]

Uhh,, how old is the dude? I dont have a degree therefor my medical diagnosis is he is gross.
Does he poop and pee in them as well or just part of his personality.

Ladies I gotta say there are way too many good women out there who put up with nut jobs. Thats callous but the facts of life are so sometimes. If he had a physical issue that would be different but thats not the case. Imagine introducing this guy to your boss, family, friends or pope as "Bob, he is my husband, he wears diapers". Sorry to the OP but sometimes you just need to hear that this guy is nuckin futz.
Why cant some women realize they deserve better and find a man who is worthy of THEM!!

[Motorguy]

I've been trying to make myself accept it for since he told me seven years ago. I haven't told him anything that I said on here. He doesn't know how I really feel because I don't want to hurt him. However, after he hit me (one year ago) and had/has this mistress I know that what we are doing isn't working. I feel myself pulling away everyday but because of what happened. I guess I need to go to counseling alone to figure out how to handle this.

Well Vivreie have you tried to talk with him about the diaper wearing on how much it bugs you. Maybe your right counseling by you both not just you your not the one with the problem but both of you to how you can deal with this odd life's styles. That all i can say on how you should deal with this problem with husband.

[jen1447]

Uhh,, how old is the dude? I dont have a degree therefor my medical diagnosis is he is gross.
Does he poop and pee in them as well or just part of his personality.

Ladies I gotta say there are way too many good women out there who put up with nut jobs. Thats callous but the facts of life are so sometimes. If he had a physical issue that would be different but thats not the case. Imagine introducing this guy to your boss, family, friends or pope as "Bob, he is my husband, he wears diapers". Sorry to the OP but sometimes you just need to hear that this guy is nuckin futz.
Why cant some women realize they deserve better and find a man who is worthy of THEM!!

I assume that she loves him, HH. Also it's a bit harsh to just dismiss him as an unapologetic deviant. People with fetishes often struggle with them, so I think he deserves some consideration. It's not an automatic go for vivrevire, but it shouldn't be an automatic no either.

The hitting tho I agree should be an 'outta here' moment.

[FrustratedHusband]

He should respect you enough not to engage in this fetish if it makes you uncomfortable. Most people have fantasies and fetishes, some that seem stranger than others. I think that if one party is bold enough to tell the other that they have a particular fetish, the other party should at least consider it honestly and see if there is any common ground.

However, as it seems to be in this case, you are quite bothered by it, and if you can't accept it even after trying then he absolutely should not go on doing it. There is no problem with him having the fantasy in his head but if it is starting to impact on you that is unacceptable.

[HerHusband]

I assume that she loves him, HH. Also it's a bit harsh to just dismiss him as an unapologetic deviant. People with fetishes often struggle with them, so I think he deserves some consideration. It's not an automatic go for vivrevire, but it shouldn't be an automatic no either.

The hitting tho I agree should be an 'outta here' moment.

This is a prime example to me why men and women react to things differently. Women want to fix men. As a man I see this guy as damaged goods.
If you knew this guys history and were looking for a good man or woman for a real relationship would this guy/girl get a gold star from you for being in touch with his/her feelings or what ever term makes it seem better?
Please dont get mad at me but its an honest reply. At some point its not a fetish its a sickness. I think he needs professional help but this is a black hole for any woman looking for a loving long term relationship. Sorry.

[jen1447]

If she loves him, the question is naturally going to be can she fix him or fix the issue first before considering what else to do like leaving. Another way to look at the damaged goods metaphor is what if you got into a disfiguring accident? You'd then be damaged goods, should your wife take a walk automatically?

[effy2014]

I've been trying to make myself accept it for since he told me seven years ago. I haven't told him anything that I said on here. He doesn't know how I really feel because I don't want to hurt him. However, after he hit me (one year ago) and had/has this mistress I know that what we are doing isn't working. I feel myself pulling away everyday but because of what happened. I guess I need to go to counseling alone to figure out how to handle this.

Rather than go alone, combine your individual therapy with couples counseling. The only way to work through this is to communicate. I must agree with the others, striking you is out of bounds. It is perfectly acceptable to ask your H to put boundaries on his fetish. I admit that I have never encountered this kind of fetish but, like any other urge, it can be controlled.

[HerHusband]

If she loves him, the question is naturally going to be can she fix him or fix the issue first before considering what else to do like leaving. Another way to look at the damaged goods metaphor is what if you got into a disfiguring accident? You'd then be damaged goods, should your wife take a walk automatically?

Now your talking apples and oranges. As I said in my first reply if he has a physical issue that requires it so be it. This is a situation of a mental issue. To compare it to a person hurt and disfigured for life is so weak its not something I would expect from someone with any kind of credentials.
Im apologize to the OP for being a bit harsh but I get so sick of women (and men) who stick with partners who dont deserve them. Couples go through rough times and have challenges that they face and hopefully resolve. But when one partner stays in a never ending relationship of emotional, mental or physical abuse it gets hard to feel sorry for them.
IF its a fetish they both are comfortable with then thats up to them.