[vivrevie]

A little background on my situation is written here: https://www.womens-health.com/boards...lk-too-my.html


About six years ago while driving to our vacation, my husband confessed that he liked wear diapers. He went though all the urges and what was behind them and basically asked if I cared if he wore diapers. We had small children and I immediately worried that he was a threat to them. He explain that wasn't the true at all. I told him that I would think about it and when we reached our destination he immediately wanted to have sex. So, I did going through the motions because I was shocked, and felt like my entire world view had been blown to pieces. My husband had frozen me out sexually for years and had these horrible anger issues which are explained in the other post. I don't remember there rest of the vacation because I think I was in shock. He kept wanted to have sex after years of nothing. He was extremely happy and without anger for the first time in years.

So, I agreed to let him try because without anger life was so amazing. He literally was a different person like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Our family started to do better our small kids even noticed. I on the other hand was an emotional wreck. I tried hard not to show it because I didn't want to reject him and hurt him. Our agreement was that he could do it but it was to be off my radar since it wasn't something I was into. I think he secretly hoped that I would join him in that type of play.

He is still wearing ...but slowly the anger has come back. Now the problem is that I am not attracted to him at all because of the diaper wearing AND he is angry. He even got involved with a diaper mistress without telling me (I haven't told him I know..ugh). I have no idea what to do since both situation with no one to talk to. I am in over my head... I love him...despite everything I love him deeply and want make it work.

[Stillness]

He even got involved with a diaper mistress without telling me (I haven't told him I know..ugh).

This means he's romantically involved and having an affair with someone into daipers or is he paying for a prostitute to do this stuff with him? What is a "diaper mistress"?

I read your posts, and I wouldn't even know where to start. Hopefully someone else has some ideas.

[vivrevie]

This means he's romantically involved and having an affair with someone into daipers or is he paying for a prostitute to do this stuff with him? What is a "diaper mistress"?

I read your posts, and I wouldn't even know where to start. Hopefully someone else has some ideas.

I it is someone he is talking to online. There hasn't been any real world contact. I think she/he tells him what to do. I really don't know either.

[vivrevie]

As usual I'm sure I've waited to long to do something. I'm hoping some wise person will come across this and have a suggestion.

[atskitty2]

I think this is quite fascinating. Sometimes I really wish I'd have pursued psychology rather than what I did.

I think the possible fetish of wearing diapers is less troubling than his anger issues. They're likely related though.

I will have to think more on this one, and post more later

[jen1447]

Good thing you've got this one kitty, I don't have a clue.

[atskitty2]

I'd hardly say "I got this", but I read something about infantilism awhile ago...this surely is a symptom.
Not having luck finding that article tho.

[jen1447]

I almost hate to ask but one question that comes to mind is, does he pee in the diapers? Or is it that he just likes wearing them?

[vivrevie]

I almost hate to ask but one question that comes to mind is, does he pee in the diapers? Or is it that he just likes wearing them?

I think he might just pee. Never the other though. He says that is gross. **blink**

I agree the anger is what concerns me more. That's why I was willing to deal with the wearing. Now, the anger is back and I'm feeling more resentful by the day. My home is becoming a house of anger.

Our agreement is that I don't want to see it so he uses his home office. Even the idea of it makes me balk at the idea of sex with him. Honestly, I think I may need some kind of therapist to figure this out. I can go on my own even if he won't. My biggest fear after writing up both posts is that people would tell me to just leave.

[atskitty2]

I don't think most folks here would advise to just leave without trying to work this through.
I cannot locate the detailed article on infantilism that I read several months back. I will give you my best recollection.
There's not a lot of research on this phenomena right now, but it is not that uncommon. Other symptoms are using baby bottles, thumb-sucking, pacifiers, and other classically infant behavior.

I think you and your husband do need to seek counseling. I think maybe he feels a guilt and confusion for this tendency, and knows the social outcast he would be if people knew. I think it's causing anxiety for him and manifesting with this angry person.
You said it improved after he confessed to you.

I think he needs a safe place to be open and honest about his thoughts, desires and habits. I think he needs for you not to be disgusted by it or by him. He has probably struggled all through life with his desire and then fought to push it out of his mind.
I think that's the reason for this online mistress...he is longing for someone who gets it-who gets his fetish and shares the desire. I'm not even sure if you've determined if this is connected to sexuality...???

I think this is a time for compassion and understanding. It is an odd thing, but it really isn't dangerous or hurtful except maybe occasionally some rash right?
I think a good qualified counselor could help you both make this a workable situation.

The article did say that these cases are not likely to change their behavior, so keep in mind that the point of counsel isn't to change him. It's more to help you both understand and reach a place you both can continue, compromise and be happy moving forward.

With all that said, I am not suggesting you tolerate abuse or cheating or compromise your own moral or ethical standards to achieve a better relationship with him.
Pls keep us posted. It really is an interesting thing for me.