[Romy]

Okay.....I would love to know what it is that your partner does with his tongue, mouth or lips that makes you cum....is there something in particular?

I'm unable to cum through oral sex 😢 feel it's because of me.....but at the back of my mind wondered if rather than changing it up - his technique, he focuses on the one thing so that my body has a chance to respond and come....

Why can't I come this way??? It's driving me nuts. I have a partner who would spend hours down there daily and it's wasted on me. He would be open to any suggestions form me....we have a very good relationship that way.

[jns]

There is a lot of difference between what women like, so what works for one may not work for another. You say his technique is to change it up. Does he keep changing what he is focusing on so you don't build excitement? I have found that changing it up once in a while is good to keep from causing stimulation fatigue (over stimulation).

Has he figured out what he gets a response with? Does he observe your movements and breathing? Does he ask if this or that causes you sensation or sexual excitement? In general, over stimulation is not good, so he should change where he is stimulating for a while and possibly slow it down then go back to what he was doing before.

The key to female orgasm is usually stimulation of the clitoris. This means during oral, he should either use his tongue or a wet lip to stimulate the clitoris much of the time. If he uses a wet lip some of the time, he can uses his tongue to stimulate in the vagina or other parts such as the area near the urethra if he gets a positive response. Some women like a lot of pressure so a different technique that can create a lot of pressure needs to be used. If the clitoris is extra sensitive, stimulation through the hood could be used.

How do you reach orgasm?

[Romy]

There is a lot of difference between what women like, so what works for one may not work for another. You say his technique is to change it up. Does he keep changing what he is focusing on so you don't build excitement? I have found that changing it up once in a while is good to keep from causing stimulation fatigue (over stimulation).

Has he figured out what he gets a response with? Does he observe your movements and breathing? Does he ask if this or that causes you sensation or sexual excitement? In general, over stimulation is not good, so he should change where he is stimulating for a while and possibly slow it down then go back to what he was doing before.

The key to female orgasm is usually stimulation of the clitoris. This means during oral, he should either use his tongue or a wet lip to stimulate the clitoris much of the time. If he uses a wet lip some of the time, he can uses his tongue to stimulate in the vagina or other parts such as the area near the urethra if he gets a positive response. Some women like a lot of pressure so a different technique that can create a lot of pressure needs to be used. If the clitoris is extra sensitive, stimulation through the hood could be used.

How do you reach orgasm?

Until recently with previous partners I was always able to cum on top. I use an electric toothbrush or shower head to cum now but my partner and I want me to cum during sex or oral. I guess he's using what worked on others and it feels good but not enough to cum.

[jen1447]

I'm very accomplished at cunnilingus but there's no one way that it works for all women. It's more about responding to your partner's feedback (both verbal and nonverbal) than any set technique. Do you want a guy who will buzz his tongue on your clit at 180 rpm like a vibrator or a living breathing person for whom it's a thrill and an honor just to be between your thighs at all, even if he can't match the tech specs of your toys?

Really hon I'd stop looking at this as such a task/goal-oriented thing and just let it happen, however it will happen. I know that's probably a frownie answer but you're looking too hard at the ends. That doesn't mean there isn't an issue and that your guy can't improve, but the way to go about addressing it isn't like you're doing scientific lab tests.

Don't make your sex life a porno parody where your man is set to perform tasks using x/y/z approaches. Just have sex. He should improve 'naturally' with enough time in the batter's box.

[jns]

It's more about responding to your partner's feedback (both verbal and nonverbal) than any set technique.

This is a good general approach for giving her oral. Some women will not give verbal feedback so being observant helps a lot.

Romy, I suspect your current ways of reaching orgasm through masturbation may be making it hard for your partner to copy in his quest to get you to orgasm from oral. Maybe a break from them will help.

[rcoreyus]

Orgasm isn't necessarily the goal. My wife enjoys it, but likes to orgasm other ways. As far as technique, I agree with the others that listening to what your partner wants is all important - which means that you need to let him know what you like as it is happening.

On the rare times when my wife does orgasm this way, its a combination of licking and a finger or two on her g-spot that works best. Everyone is different though.

[Romy]

I'm very accomplished at cunnilingus but there's no one way that it works for all women. It's more about responding to your partner's feedback (both verbal and nonverbal) than any set technique. Do you want a guy who will buzz his tongue on your clit at 180 rpm like a vibrator or a living breathing person for whom it's a thrill and an honor just to be between your thighs at all, even if he can't match the tech specs of your toys?

Really hon I'd stop looking at this as such a task/goal-oriented thing and just let it happen, however it will happen. I know that's probably a frownie answer but you're looking too hard at the ends. That doesn't mean there isn't an issue and that your guy can't improve, but the way to go about addressing it isn't like you're doing scientific lab tests.

Don't make your sex life a porno parody where your man is set to perform tasks using x/y/z approaches. Just have sex. He should improve 'naturally' with enough time in the batter's box.

You always give me just the advice i need to hear. Thank you. I really appreciate it.

[Romy]

This is a good general approach for giving her oral. Some women will not give verbal feedback so being observant helps a lot.

Romy, I suspect your current ways of reaching orgasm through masturbation may be making it hard for your partner to copy in his quest to get you to orgasm from oral. Maybe a break from them will help.

I agree....I'm taking a break. Last night I was able to use my fingers to cum - was not a great orgasm but I'm trying to get away from what I'm used to.