[FunnyGirl]

I have been sexually active for over four years now and have only been able to accomplish an orgasm by myself with my clit. No boy has ever been able to give me one. Ever. I just recently realized that I do what is called "female ejaculation" while I'm with a guy, however, but I don't feel any different when it happens. Sometimes I don't even notice that I did it until I feel the liquid pooling together on his stomach or around my thighs. I read that this type of ejaculation was supposed to be incredibly powerful but I don't feel a thing. Some have said that the orgasm will come soon after the liquid but I keep going and nothing happens. What's wrong with me? And why can't I get an orgasm with my boyfriend in the first place? His confidence goes down every time and I try to explain that it's not his fault. I've never been able to with someone, just myself. I'm trying to understand why I don't get one in regular sex and why I don't have one when I have female ejaculation. I'm not sure what to do at this point.

[jen1447]

Don't do anything lol. And stop thinking there's something wrong with you if you don't behave according to the norm, whatever that is.

On orgasms from another, think of it this way: when you do it, you're like a person in a brightly lit room - you can go straight to whatever you're looking for. When someone else does it, they're like a person in a dark room, stumbling around and hoping to find what they're looking for. It takes practice and lots of familiarity to be good at it, unless you're the 1% who's just naturally awesome, paired with the other 1% who's just naturally sexually explosive.

On ejaculation, are you sure you're actually ejaculating? Other possibilities are pee (gross I know), because pre-squirting and pre-peeing can feel remarkably similar and if you haven't peed and get stimulated that way, you might. Also are you actually squirting, where it comes out kind of similar to when a man cums (like with contractions), or is it just sort of appearing like lube? We produce fluids in a lot of different ways and with different consistencies.

I suppose another possibility is that you are indeed squirting without any sensation, which would I think be unusual and might be something best addressed by someone with some actual credentials in this area.

[Josephlin101]

I have been sexually active for over four years now and have only been able to accomplish an orgasm by myself with my clit. No boy has ever been able to give me one. Ever. I just recently realized that I do what is called "female ejaculation" while I'm with a guy, however, but I don't feel any different when it happens. Sometimes I don't even notice that I did it until I feel the liquid pooling together on his stomach or around my thighs. I read that this type of ejaculation was supposed to be incredibly powerful but I don't feel a thing. Some have said that the orgasm will come soon after the liquid but I keep going and nothing happens. What's wrong with me? And why can't I get an orgasm with my boyfriend in the first place? His confidence goes down every time and I try to explain that it's not his fault. I've never been able to with someone, just myself. I'm trying to understand why I don't get one in regular sex and why I don't have one when I have female ejaculation. I'm not sure what to do at this point.

FunnyGirl, you're normal regarding no orgasms when having sex. About 70% of women surveyed reported they only orgasm when going solo. Correct me if I'm wrong cause I'm a man, but vagina is in fact not very sensitive, at least compare to clit. Unless clit is stimulated, usually no orgasm can be found.
When having sex, try stimulating the clit yourself or have your boyfriend do it. Many say that's the way.

[DreamP346]

For men, orgasm and ejaculation are 2 separate events. It's possible to have one without the other. I wonder if it's the same for women.

[HerHusband]

For men, orgasm and ejaculation are 2 separate events. It's possible to have one without the other. I wonder if it's the same for women.

I cant say that I agree with that but Im not the last word for all but they are tied together for me. I do have quite a bit of pre ejaculate but that's not the same.

[Lovcookie]

Don't do anything lol. And stop thinking there's something wrong with you if you don't behave according to the norm, whatever that is.

On orgasms from another, think of it this way: when you do it, you're like a person in a brightly lit room - you can go straight to whatever you're looking for. When someone else does it, they're like a person in a dark room, stumbling around and hoping to find what they're looking for. It takes practice and lots of familiarity to be good at it,

I love this analogy Jen.

This related to one of my Posts. I have heard many women with experiences like this. I think some time and experimentation with your guy will eventually bring you the results. I have experienced a few women that said it was hard for them to come to orgasm. They could usually bring themselves to orgasm but very hard to cum with the guy. I can't say I brought them to orgasm the first time either but in a couple of tries as we got comfortable with each other and trying different things it did happen and more frequently from there on. Others it happen the first time. I am not trying to brag at all I am as curious as the next person to the things the work and what don't work. Why I could and another man could not. I think the guy as got to be motivated and desires to please her in a strong way (I really get turn on bringing the woman to orgasm and would feel bad, even selfish if I don't get the results). I work my *** off to achieve lol. If I cum and she does not I feel like I failed. My goal is to get her off first and often. Again I think its like Jen says, eventually over time he with find the to bring you there. Assuming he is not just thinking of himself.

[jen1447]

That's admirable Lovcookie but in a strange way you're prioritizing your own wants over hers - specifically your desire for her to orgasm. If she doesn't particularly feel the need to, being pressured to 'perform' that way can be tiresome. If I were you I'd just relax and let her call the shots. Encourage her to communicate openly and be ready to do whatever she needs, but don't be all "on your back, I'm going in and I'm not coming back up until you finish!!"

I have to agree with HH btw, I always thought that there was a physiological connection between orgasm and ejaculating in men (tho I have heard of some few who train to suppress ejaculation and thus can be multi-orgasmic). At any rate I've never seen a guy who didn't orgasm when ejaculating and vice versa. Women of course are totally different - we don't always orgasm when we ejaculate, and we don't all ejaculate, and we don't always ejaculate when we orgasm, even the squirters. I know I've had many gushing orgasms that weren't timed perfectly with the gushing, or that lasted much longer than the actual release of fluid, or happened after or even before the gush or both.

[Josephlin101]

For men, orgasm and ejaculation are 2 separate events. It's possible to have one without the other. I wonder if it's the same for women.

Some men do have the ability to orgasm without ejaculation, in fact some Asian culture believe that semen is too precious to "waste" so better not ejaculate too often. There's some training in the old books about it.

But I never heard a man can ejaculate without orgasm. It kind of miss the fun of sex for men if you ask me... not many men want that I assume.

[Lovcookie]

That's admirable Lovcookie but in a strange way you're prioritizing your own wants over hers - specifically your desire for her to orgasm. If she doesn't particularly feel the need to, being pressured to 'perform' that way can be tiresome. If I were you I'd just relax and let her call the shots. Encourage her to communicate openly and be ready to do whatever she needs, but don't be all "on your back, I'm going in and I'm not coming back up until you finish!!"

I have to agree with HH btw, I always thought that there was a physiological connection between orgasm and ejaculating in men (tho I have heard of some few who train to suppress ejaculation and thus can be multi-orgasmic). At any rate I've never seen a guy who didn't orgasm when ejaculating and vice versa. Women of course are totally different - we don't always orgasm when we ejaculate, and we don't all ejaculate, and we don't always ejaculate when we orgasm, even the squirters. I know I've had many gushing orgasms that weren't timed perfectly with the gushing, or that lasted much longer than the actual release of fluid, or happened after or even before the gush or both.

Another good point Jen. Maybe their is a bit of my wants as priority in my way of thinking there. I think with my personality I don't let her feel I am pressuring her but I may in the past have put pressure on myself. Those were experience going back some years. "Not coming back up until you finish". I smiled when I read this. I have learned not to do this .

I too believe orgasm and ejaculating go together. Maybe there is the odd man out there that is wired differently but I think it would be rare