[conrad2]

Hi everyone, I'm hoping that some of you will be able to offer me some advice, or maybe even an understanding of the problems that my girlfriend has been having.

First, a little background about us. Me and my girlfriend are both 17, each other's firsts and have been together for a year. We started having sex at around two months into our relationship.

My girlfriend has been masturbating since she was 14, so around 2 years before we started dating, and was experiencing orgasms every time that she did so.

However, about three weeks after we started dating, she lost the ability to orgasm and has been unable to do so ever since. It's been almost a year now, and she's getting really upset, depressed and desperate, and quite frankly so am I.

She still climaxes, however instead of the mental rush that you get when orgasming, she just gets the physical side of things (i.e the spasms). She doesn't get any sort of release, so she's still just as horny after the event as she was before hand.

We've tried everything, massages, movie nights, cuddles and slow buildups, but nothing seems to work.

She has also tried to masturbate like she used to, and gets the same result, still no orgasm and just these spasms which don't bring any real good feelings.

Does anyone have any advice? I originally used to stop her worrying by telling her it's a dry spell that'll pass, but now she's beginning to give up and she's starting to believe that they will never come back....

What does she need to do? Is there anything that I'm doing wrong? I feel awful being able to orgasm despite her not being able to.

Thanks.

[jns]

Maybe it is something to do with birth control. What are you two doing to keep her from getting pregnant?

[Lady Syrinx]

This is obviously her first serious relationship. Maybe it's "performance anxiety" you usually hear that phrase in reference to men. She may be feeling pressure from you or internally that isn't allowing her to relax. Is her inability to orgasm a frequent topic of conversation?

[Trixareforkids]

The spasms aren't the orgasm. The tension release, endorphin flood is the orgasm. The spasms have to be worked around or worked past. 1st off I'm assuming we're talking clitoral orgasms. It's possible/probable that her clit has gotten overstimulated in a particular area, this happens. She (or the two of you) need to switch things up, how you stimulate it (manually, with a vibrator, direct contact, indirect contact), where you stimulate it (dead on, from the right side, from the left side, near the top, near the bottom), how hard you stimulate it (gently or forcefully, with little lubrication or lots of lubrication), and for how long you stimulate it (short quick bursts, long slow manipulation, a combination of both).

The orgasms are still there to be had, just maybe not the way they've always been brought on before. Tell her to get on here and look up masturbation, she can find many different ways of trying to bring back her Os.

Good luck to both of you.

[conrad2]

Maybe it is something to do with birth control. What are you two doing to keep her from getting pregnant?

We used condoms from the start. Six months after we started having sex she went onto the pill for around three months, but came off it again about a month ago. We've considered the possibility of the pill being a cause, but ruled it out since she didn't start taking it till 6 months after the problem began.

This is obviously her first serious relationship. Maybe it's "performance anxiety" you usually hear that phrase in reference to men. She may be feeling pressure from you or internally that isn't allowing her to relax. Is her inability to orgasm a frequent topic of conversation?

Nope, we don't talk about it often as I want her to be able to relax when we're together rather than stressing about her O.

I'd say that we have talked about it around 3/4 times in the past year.

The spasms aren't the orgasm. The tension release, endorphin flood is the orgasm. The spasms have to be worked around or worked past. 1st off I'm assuming we're talking clitoral orgasms. It's possible/probable that her clit has gotten overstimulated in a particular area, this happens. She (or the two of you) need to switch things up, how you stimulate it (manually, with a vibrator, direct contact, indirect contact), where you stimulate it (dead on, from the right side, from the left side, near the top, near the bottom), how hard you stimulate it (gently or forcefully, with little lubrication or lots of lubrication), and for how long you stimulate it (short quick bursts, long slow manipulation, a combination of both).

The orgasms are still there to be had, just maybe not the way they've always been brought on before. Tell her to get on here and look up masturbation, she can find many different ways of trying to bring back her Os.

Good luck to both of you.

Thank you for your advice, I'll definitely try this with her. I bought her a bullet a while ago, but with the same result.

Thank you everyone for your advice, I really appreciate it.