[Saphira007]

My bf and I have been together for almost a year and it is a long distance relationship since he lives in England and I live in the states. When we first started talking my sex drive was through the roof as I had just come out of a year and a 1/2 long relationship were my ex and I had a very active sex life.
When my ex and I were together sex had never been a problem, we were pretty much always ready to tear each other's clothes off, all he had to do was look at me and I was ready to go.
So for the first few months after my ex and split my sex drive was high and my bf and I were always texting and having phone sex but after about 3 months my sex drive started slowing way down and now I have almost no drive at all and when he wants to play I have no interest. Before my ex and had got together I had almost no drive then either but after he and started seeing each other all the time it shot way way up, so the way I look at it is if I'm having sex regularly my sex drive goes up and stays up but if I'm not having sex it goes down and stays down. I've explained this to my bf but he still just gets upset when I don't want to play, how can I make him understand that it's not something I know how to control? If anyone has had this problem any advise would be appreciated. Thanks

[kira]

That seems to be how it works for a lot of women. The more sex they are exposed to the more they want and if the sex life turns bad or just nonexistent then drive drops leading to them not noticing a potential problem. Some also get quite bored with online and phone stuff that doesn't actually result in sex and so stop responding to it. Now trying to make a guy understand that a woman's sex drive is quite variable and sensitive I haven't figured out. Reading erotica, watching porn, and at least attempting masturbation can keep my sex drive up a little to a lot more. I just haven't felt like reading anything this past year. I think it's my insomnia medication.

[PhrendlyPhil]

Join the crowd of about 50 million couples. He's going to "need" sex whether or not you have any drive. You can be sexually "nice" without feeling horny. You can have a low sex drive and still be accommodating to him. You can still enjoy the closeness and intimacy of sex without any libido and at the same time satisfy him and not leave him feeling rejected.

[ms_lorr]

I had a similar problem a few years ago. I was never in the mood and hubby would get a bit upset. It got bad when he said it was time to go our separate ways. In an effort to save it we compromised on him doing whatever he wanted to get rid of his urges with me, I would use some lube and lie there thinking about other things. It worked for him, he was satisfied enough to stay and my drive came back a few month later. It was purely a physical need for him.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

My bf and I have been together for almost a year and it is a long distance relationship since he lives in England and I live in the states. When we first started talking my sex drive was through the roof as I had just come out of a year and a 1/2 long relationship were my ex and I had a very active sex life.
When my ex and I were together sex had never been a problem, we were pretty much always ready to tear each other's clothes off, all he had to do was look at me and I was ready to go.
So for the first few months after my ex and split my sex drive was high and my bf and I were always texting and having phone sex but after about 3 months my sex drive started slowing way down and now I have almost no drive at all and when he wants to play I have no interest. Before my ex and had got together I had almost no drive then either but after he and started seeing each other all the time it shot way way up, so the way I look at it is if I'm having sex regularly my sex drive goes up and stays up but if I'm not having sex it goes down and stays down. I've explained this to my bf but he still just gets upset when I don't want to play, how can I make him understand that it's not something I know how to control? If anyone has had this problem any advise would be appreciated. Thanks

In my opinion it's because you are not getting the "Real" thing.

He lives in England, you in the states, you are having phone sex and that's it, it was exciting to start with but now there is no sexuality or sensuality in it, it now just feels like something you "have" to do, no touching each other..

When are you going to be able to get together with him?

[Patti-here]

My bf and I have been together for almost a year and it is a long distance relationship since he lives in England and I live in the states. When we first started talking my sex drive was through the roof as I had just come out of a year and a 1/2 long relationship were my ex and I had a very active sex life.
When my ex and I were together sex had never been a problem, we were pretty much always ready to tear each other's clothes off, all he had to do was look at me and I was ready to go.
So for the first few months after my ex and split my sex drive was high and my bf and I were always texting and having phone sex but after about 3 months my sex drive started slowing way down and now I have almost no drive at all and when he wants to play I have no interest. Before my ex and had got together I had almost no drive then either but after he and started seeing each other all the time it shot way way up, so the way I look at it is if I'm having sex regularly my sex drive goes up and stays up but if I'm not having sex it goes down and stays down. I've explained this to my bf but he still just gets upset when I don't want to play, how can I make him understand that it's not something I know how to control? If anyone has had this problem any advise would be appreciated. Thanks

maintaining a long distance relationship is a difficult thing to do, for instance, you could let someone know something about your past that could cause friction between the two of you.

[Motorguy]

My bf and I have been together for almost a year and it is a long distance relationship since he lives in England and I live in the states. When we first started talking my sex drive was through the roof as I had just come out of a year and a 1/2 long relationship were my ex and I had a very active sex life.
When my ex and I were together sex had never been a problem, we were pretty much always ready to tear each other's clothes off, all he had to do was look at me and I was ready to go.
So for the first few months after my ex and split my sex drive was high and my bf and I were always texting and having phone sex but after about 3 months my sex drive started slowing way down and now I have almost no drive at all and when he wants to play I have no interest. Before my ex and had got together I had almost no drive then either but after he and started seeing each other all the time it shot way way up, so the way I look at it is if I'm having sex regularly my sex drive goes up and stays up but if I'm not having sex it goes down and stays down. I've explained this to my bf but he still just gets upset when I don't want to play, how can I make him understand that it's not something I know how to control? If anyone has had this problem any advise would be appreciated. Thanks

The main question here is your boy friend ever coming back to the states or not. I say if so and this guy looks like the guy you will married then maybe get some toys to help you get over that idea your man is not here to give you that pleasure of sex. If he's never coming back then maybe here you should be looking for that new fish in the sea and tell the boy friend that you need more then this phone sex or text stuff it's not doing it for you anymore. But remember those wife or girl friends who waited for there husband or boyfriends who were off to war for over a year or more and probably was going through the same problem you are as well now.