[pinkmomma2]

So my fiance and I have been together for 3 years engaged for almost a year now.
In the beginning our love life was fantastic I couldn't ask for anything better. About 6 months ago my mother became very ill
and I went back to my hometown to take care of her. I was gone for almost 3 months, during that time, he didnt cheat and neither did I. But
since I've been back sex has truly truly sucked
It frustrates me so much because we'll be all of five minutes into it and he's not hard anymore or he's ready to cum. It kills me. So I've been back for a month and I know he wants to have sex with me but it's like every time we do, he's the only one getting satisfied. He's a little older than I am. I'm 22 and He's 30. And he thinks I'm just at a "sexual peak" whatever that means....
I do love him very much and I'm so excited about making the trip down the isle to the person I love with all of me... it's just i'm sexually frustrated. Like I dont even want to have sex anymore because I dont want to get my hopes up because I know he's going to give at least 8 mins and be done. I dont know what to do anymore.

[Trixareforkids]

You gotta let him know it's not okay. It's no big deal if he goes quickly, but he's either got to make sure you've got yours first or to finish you after with toys or hands. It's ok not to O every once in a while but not on a regular basis. Ask him how he'd feel if you did the same to him, got off quick and left him hanging.

[rcoreyus]

There is lots to sex beside intercourse. Is he willing to use fingers, mouth, toys, to please you? I think that there are many women who's lovers can't bring them to orgasm just through intercourse, but they can still have great sex lives by doing other things.

[bubba29]

you CANNOT marry someone you don't have good sex with. have a heart to heart with him and sort this out. honesty is the best policy.

[Motorguy]

So my fiance and I have been together for 3 years engaged for almost a year now.
In the beginning our love life was fantastic I couldn't ask for anything better. About 6 months ago my mother became very ill
and I went back to my hometown to take care of her. I was gone for almost 3 months, during that time, he didnt cheat and neither did I. But
since I've been back sex has truly truly sucked
It frustrates me so much because we'll be all of five minutes into it and he's not hard anymore or he's ready to cum. It kills me. So I've been back for a month and I know he wants to have sex with me but it's like every time we do, he's the only one getting satisfied. He's a little older than I am. I'm 22 and He's 30. And he thinks I'm just at a "sexual peak" whatever that means....
I do love him very much and I'm so excited about making the trip down the isle to the person I love with all of me... it's just i'm sexually frustrated. Like I dont even want to have sex anymore because I dont want to get my hopes up because I know he's going to give at least 8 mins and be done. I dont know what to do anymore.

Well Pinkmomma, i really feel for you on this. I am having a hard time chewing on this that you gone a total of 90 days and the sex was really,really great and now your back and it sucks that bad with fiance. Something is rotten in Denmark now how do you know he's not cheating he tell you that or you just trust him he didn't. I can't believe at 30 and that is not old by the way and can stay erect for you. I am almost 50 and I will get erect if the wind blows the wrong way so I am not buying that at all. So now too he will not go down and do oral on you now something is so wrong here and you really need to think do you still want to marry this man. If so you need some serous question answer now or if you married him this marriage could be done before it starts. If you really still love him then maybe counseling is need before you say I DO and find out what is really going on if he doesn't want to go then he really doesn't want to marry you then. I am sorry if i sounds harsh on this but i see something really bad here from what you said in your post Pinkmomma good luck.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

When you say in the beginning are you referring to say, the first year? Or are you stating, up until your Mother became ill?

Irrespective, a 90 day break without sex, takes a while sometimes to get back into the original (If happy) place that it was before.

How is your Mother? I ask that because he could be feeling for you and can't have sex, and then when "horny" is doing his thing, remember it was 90 days apart for you both. Women are wired differently.

Why not take a different approach and touch him, lightly, kiss his neck, keep him away from doing his thing let him kiss you etc and then proceed. Sometimes we need to take the reign not get upset.

[mandrus]

I am also having a hard time with this. I am sure there could be a number of explanations but my first concern is that he is clearly ok with you NOT getting off while you two are having a sexual encounter. As a man I take a lot of pride in making sure my wife gets pleased before I do. There are rare circumstances that her mind is on overload, and she cant get there but it isnt for a lack of me trying thats for sure.
You need to make sure things improve in the sack...there either needs to be an adjustment in your routine so that he is taking care of you and finding a way to meet your needs or you are going to have a really tough time. Your frustration is only going to get worse if things stay as they are.
I hope that they naturally get sorted out but I would imagine like anything its going to take some conversation and work.

[Gary7]

First, talk to him about it if he's that important to you. Try to work it out BEFORE you get married.

If you can't work it out then don't get married. If you can't talk to him and convince him that things need to change now, you won't be able to do it after you're married and have children running around. A bad sex life before children definitely won't get better after children! lol