[Trixareforkids]

In my family there was a lot of bowing but no hugging. The first real hug I ever got was from my husband to be.

I always associated bowing with greeting/showing respect, is it a sign of affection too? If not, is there a physical form of affection (hand patting or something) in your family/culture?

[Baboy]

Well, this seems to have evolved into a hugs thread and my reply might seem a bit off topic, but if it's possible to revive the original subject matter, I have a few comments.

I think it would be a mistake to take it as given that all men are routinely steeped in a feces/urine marinade. The OP has apparently done her research and purports to know how many residual drops of urine remain as a result of the woefully inadequate penis "flicking" regime practiced at urinals and I'll accept her numbers and her empirical research.

The OP also opines that "a man peeing while sitting on the toilet is traditionally viewed as a strange subject". It strikes me as odd that the topic has been aired sufficiently to be attended by any "traditional" views, but I shall come out here and confess to being a toilet-sitting ****er. In my youth I noticed when wearing shorts, or nothing at all, that standing before a toilet and peeing into the bowl created a certain fine mist or spray that could not be seen, but could be felt ever-so-slightly on bare skin. That kinda' got me thinking about what was being absorbed by my clothing (not to mention alighting on the surrounding area) the rest of the time.

Being resourceful, I endeavored to develop a stealth pee technique, where the offending stream could be directed into the bowl in such manner as to completely eliminate any backsplash. I tried peeing directly into the water, in the center of the bowl, off-center, at the 1 o'clock position, 6 o'clock, etc. No luck. So I tried just hitting the porcelain and various places and angles to see if there was a sweet spot where the stream would just enter seamlessly. All for naught! And I am not all that tall. It would seem to me that the basketball-player types, towering over the bowl, with their pee falling a great distance to its destination, must really create some heavy dew. But that's just speculation on my part.

In the end, I relented and commenced to pee sitting down. Now you all know my most shameful secret. On top of that, to compound the ignomy, I'll confess to eschewing the penis flick technique and to using toilet tissue to wipe the tip and to squeeze out and absorb any drops that were otherwise destined to ooze into my undies afterwards. Does that revolting revelation not leave you aghast!

There are times when one must use a urinal. My experience, which might be wholly out of sync with that the rest of the world, is that, while the pee travels a lesser distance when using a urinal, it tends to come in contact with either water or a hard surface at some velocity, which too produces the misting effect, albeit generally less so. Que faire? Two possibilities come to mind. Step back a few feet, do a quick mental calculation of muzzle velocity and trajectory and send the stream across the gulf in a glorious golden arch. This is guaranteed to produce a significant backsplash, but, if done right, one is sufficiently removed from the collision site to avoid being hit. It will not ingratiate you to those who come after and those who must clean the premises, but you can't have it all. The other possibility is to lean in close and try to direct the stream against the porcelain at a low angle from close range. The problem with this method is that if it fails, it fails miserably. I think most guys just stand back and let fly without getting too cerebral about the whole thing. When done, despite the OP's comment about no TP being available at urinals, one can discreetly employ a paper towel plucked from the dispenser on the way in.

It may be that I am alone in the world in this and completely abnormal. All other guys might be able to pee into any receptacle with nary a splash, a sound, just a harmonious merge. Perhaps I was born with some missing gene. I am an abject failure in that regard.

Turning to the vexing problem of, uh, um, ahem - number 2 - that's undoubtedly a topic deserving of its own learned treatise. The OP has advised that fecal bathing is a male ritual as well as wallowing in one's own pee. While we have been supplied with copious detail about how it is that all that pee gets to be where it should not be, we have not been treated to an equally enlightening exposé about the other stuff. Just too grim to contemplate, I suppose. Enough to give a hyena the dry heaves.

The only thing I'll say on this latter topic is that I recall quite vividly my first Asian gf commenting to me about butt cleanliness thus: "Most white people don't wash; they only use tissue. It's disgusting honey." After that comment, I just quietly mended my ways and started washing after using the toilet. Not really possible in public facilities. It does leave one feeling cleaner between daily (or more frequent when in the tropics) showers. Even better, one does not have to be seen in the checkout line at the supermarket with those magnum-sized 50-or-so-roll packages of TP. We buy it for guests. I would guess a 12-pack lasts a year in our house.

Finally, let me say how happy I am that women are sufficiently genteel to never pee, poop, menstruate, have pubic hair, have indigestion and gas or otherwise succumb to such frailties of the human condition. We men are secure in the knowledge that vaginas are maintained in a punctilious state of cleanliness - akin to that of a sterile surgical instrument - ready to be kissed and licked 24/7, even if the owner of the vagina in question foolishly agrees to indulge in such conduct on the man's putrid car seat.

[jns]

When I go to Southeast Asia, which I do several times a year, I go native and become one of the wet butt people. I'm surprised you didn't defend the squat toilet, as it is actually much better for the hygiene thing as well as for elimination and has the added benefit of being very water efficient.

[Baboy]

My gross oversight! Consider it defended!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Wait, as a woman, I squat, never sit on the loo.. That's how I was bought up, only sit on thy own throne, at, home.

My Mother was / is a clean freak .

PS Good for the thighs as well.

[JonDoe]

Post #42 wins my vote for funniest post of the year!

[jns]

Wait, as a woman, I squat, never sit on the loo.. That's how I was bought up, only sit on thy own throne, at, home.

My Mother was / is a clean freak .

PS Good for the thighs as well.

CW's 22,000th (22.000th) post. Congratulations.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Shirt and it was about squatting? Thanks JNS wow, that's a lot of posting I didn't even realise I'd hit that

[Baboy]

Thanks JD. I thought I was being dead serious.

And as for jns' observation about CW's post #22,000, I see I will have my hands full trying to catch up.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Why am I reading Badboy?

So you are hanging around for at least 6 years writing here daily huh? Look forward to it!