[SarahK]

Heya, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend about 2 months ago and we have had sex regularly since. One problem, it STILL hurts. Its the same tearing/stretching/burning feeling as the first time. He fingers me/Plays with me first until Im practically begging him to get inside so I am well lubricated etc. He goes really slow at first then speeds up but it hurts from the moment it goes in. We have tried with condoms and without condoms, we are unable to do any position apart from him on top because Im too tight and its impossible for us to do any other position. Its really starting to irritate me now because he is really caring and keeps stopping to ask me am I okay, I havent told him it hurts me but Ive suggested trying different things which we have done but have had no luck. Ive read on here about it hurting for years after and I really dont want that but we have done everything but Im still almost too tight for him and in pain. Hes tried three fingers but I almost cried, 2 fingers hurts, 1 is good. We have went 2 weeks without sex so I must have healed by now. Someone please help because Im seriously going off sex and everything to do with it!!

[Euphoric]

Sarah,

Sometimes even though there has been plenty of foreplay and you are lubricated naturally, it's still not enough. Try using a lubricant such as astroglide. Smooth some over his entire shaft. A little goes a long way and it can be purchased at most drugstores. There are plenty of women whom have had babies and still need a additional lube to offset the friction from entry.

Best Wishes,
Euphoric

[kira]

You might also want to get checked for yeast or bacterial infection. Either can make the tissue sensitive and easily inflamed. That will cause burning feelings and pain on stretching.

[DreamP346]

How long are you engaging in foreplay? Sometimes the mind is ready but not the body. And lubrication isn't the only indication you are ready. 20 minutes is a must. More in your case. Also, try having an orgasm before penetration. That really relaxes your muscles. Have him give you oral. Once you orgasm, then try intercourse.

[PhrendlyPhil]

Take the pressure off. Instead of penetration, lie on your back with your thighs pulled way back. Suggest to him that he slide the shaft of his penis back and forth between your labia and over your clitoris (I think this is called dry humping). If you're sufficiently lubricated it should feel really good to you without any pain. He, too, will enjoy it and perhaps ejaculate on your tummy for the amusement of you both.

[Justice]

A question....it sounds like it is more his size that is hurting (tearing, stretching) than just the "friction" or the need for more lubrication? Is that true, Sarah?

If so, perhaps this might help? I have always bee very tight, in fact it took me a long time to even be able to use tampons. It made me somewhat fearful of having intercourse. When I started thinking that I would want to, my doctor suggested getting (vaginal) Dilators. They come in several sizes and you can start using the smaller ones and using lube until you are able to work up to a larger size and you are more comfortable. Even with these you have an easier time if you "play" (masturbate or with your partner) and get more aroused before inserting them.

There is also a condition called vaginismus, where even if you are arouse and relaxed, your vaginal muscles can tighten up. I have read that the dilators can be useful for that condition as well.