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  • honey_bee1389
    Junior Member
    • Apr 2014
    • 6

    vaginismus

    I have had vaginismus for a while as a result of a number of causes I am inclined to believe. One of the main causes being that I was actually born with my vagina closed off (sorry if this is too much info) My doctor opened it during a pap test, (OUCH) A friend of mine, (the boyfriend of my best friend) volunteered to help me but this is incredibly awkward for me because I barely know him, and feel he's being kind of pushy. I I have mentioned that I feel uncomfortable with the idea of him touching me. I lied last time he wanted to come help me by saying that I had family obligations and work. He asked me if it was because I was uncomfortable, I said yes. He just messaged me saying "your training starts saturday" I said that I would see what I had going on he said "clear your schedule" this being because he is only available on that day. I have no idea how to say thanks but no thanks and BTW this is not your body and I say what goes on NOT YOU
  • Patti-here
    Banned
    • Mar 2014
    • 2602

    The phrase 'NO' go away comes to mind.

    Comment

    • effy2014
      Veteran Member
      • Apr 2014
      • 1777

      You need to be assertive on this. Patti is right -- a very emphatic NO is appropriate.
      "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

      Comment

      • DreamP346
        • Oct 2011
        • 2053

        Is this for real? Doctors don't open your vagina during a pap exam. If it was closed at birth, you wouldn't have been able to menstruate. And how can a random man help you with vaginismus? That's like asking a masseuse to help you with you skin cancer.

        However, if this is a real question, then I would tell this guy to #$%^##$#*-off and never talk to you again. He is obviously a creep. No polite words needed. Actually the more foul the language, the better.
        Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

        Comment

        • honey_bee1389
          Junior Member
          • Apr 2014
          • 6

          Actually i dont menstruate anyway because of my turner syndrome.

          Comment

          • Patti-here
            Banned
            • Mar 2014
            • 2602

            Originally posted by honey_bee1389
            Actually i dont menstruate anyway because of my turner syndrome.
            Have you tried hormone therapy for that ?

            Comment

            • Claret
              Assistant Admin
              • Jan 2011
              • 1823

              Originally posted by honey_bee1389
              I have had vaginismus for a while as a result of a number of causes I am inclined to believe. One of the main causes being that I was actually born with my vagina closed off (sorry if this is too much info) My doctor opened it during a pap test, (OUCH) A friend of mine, (the boyfriend of my best friend) volunteered to help me but this is incredibly awkward for me because I barely know him, and feel he's being kind of pushy. I I have mentioned that I feel uncomfortable with the idea of him touching me. I lied last time he wanted to come help me by saying that I had family obligations and work. He asked me if it was because I was uncomfortable, I said yes. He just messaged me saying "your training starts saturday" I said that I would see what I had going on he said "clear your schedule" this being because he is only available on that day. I have no idea how to say thanks but no thanks and BTW this is not your body and I say what goes on NOT YOU
              How old are you? I ask because normally persons with Turner Syndrom (a chromosomal condition) once diagnosed, would be put on estrogen to help the secondary sexual characteristics. In your case it would be to bring on your menstrual cycle if possible for you as most persons with this are not capable of having natural children but may be able to carry a child from donor eggs, and to assist in normal sexual health. Turner syndrome is a cause of primary amenorrhea, premature ovarian failure (hypergonadotropic hypogonadism), streak gonads and infertility. Failure to develop secondary sex characteristics (sexual infantilism) is typical.

              This person is in no way helping you, he is merely helping himself. You need to see your physician and determine what the state of your vagina is. If it has never matured properly you may be doing much harm by forcing intercourse. You may need drugs to assist in maturation.
              That which we forget may as well never really happened.

              Comment

              • Motorguy
                Veteran Member
                • Mar 2014
                • 3921

                Originally posted by honey_bee1389
                I have had vaginismus for a while as a result of a number of causes I am inclined to believe. One of the main causes being that I was actually born with my vagina closed off (sorry if this is too much info) My doctor opened it during a pap test, (OUCH) A friend of mine, (the boyfriend of my best friend) volunteered to help me but this is incredibly awkward for me because I barely know him, and feel he's being kind of pushy. I I have mentioned that I feel uncomfortable with the idea of him touching me. I lied last time he wanted to come help me by saying that I had family obligations and work. He asked me if it was because I was uncomfortable, I said yes. He just messaged me saying "your training starts saturday" I said that I would see what I had going on he said "clear your schedule" this being because he is only available on that day. I have no idea how to say thanks but no thanks and BTW this is not your body and I say what goes on NOT YOU
                Well Honey, just be very blunt with this creepy of a guy to go away you don't need him to help you. Those would be my first words out of my mouth to him then change your e-mail and phone number if you have too. Of your condition I have heard of this but never knew anyone who has this problem. Your so right it is your body and it's up to you what happens with it, so just say thanks but no thanks to him and be done with it and move on.
                When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

                Comment

                • Motorguy
                  Veteran Member
                  • Mar 2014
                  • 3921

                  Originally posted by sp346
                  Is this for real? Doctors don't open your vagina during a pap exam. If it was closed at birth, you wouldn't have been able to menstruate. And how can a random man help you with vaginismus? That's like asking a masseuse to help you with you skin cancer.

                  However, if this is a real question, then I would tell this guy to #$%^##$#**-off and never talk to you again. He is obviously a creep. No polite words needed. Actually the more foul the language, the better.
                  I think you are right on that SP I agree. Now it's time for a shower after reading that post. It takes all type it's those type of men that make it bad for the good guys.
                  When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

                  Comment

                  • honey_bee1389
                    Junior Member
                    • Apr 2014
                    • 6

                    Sorry everyone I have been busy to answer your question claret I am 25. I lost my health insurance when I was very young so I really couldn't begin taking hormones because I didnt have a doctor. Speaking of which, I went to one yesterday and she determined that I actually don't have vaginismus at all. It is a lack of estrogen that is causing my pain so she put me on an estrogen creme which is inserted vaginally. (the applicator is actually very small.) and soon she is referring me to someone who can get me started on hormones. On a final note, I told the guy that I was going to seek help elsewhere.

                    Comment

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