[DreamP346]

Consult a doctor and explain this. The problem is most doctors don't take into consideration sexual side effects. There are anti-depressants that do not have the same sexual side effects (usually the older ones).

I am guessing you are very much in love right now and not having ANY sex seems like a small price to pay to be with the one you love. But unless you also have a low sex drive, this will eventually become a problem. Can you image live without sex AT ALL. Image the next 10 years of your relationship with no sex. What about children? Do you want them? These are the type of things that fester over time and make both parties miserable. Don't just sit back and do nothing. Talk to the psychiatrist who prescribed the anti-depressant first. If they can't fix this, then see a sex specialists. There are a few across the country.

Here is some good information from the Mayo Clinic

Antidepressants with the lowest rate of sexual side effects include:
Bupropion (Wellbutrin, Wellbutrin SR, Wellbutrin XL)
Mirtazapine (Remeron, Remeron SolTab)

Antidepressants most likely to cause sexual side effects include:
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). These commonly prescribed antidepressants cause sexual side effects in many people. SSRIs include citalopram (Celexa), escitalopram (Lexapro), fluoxetine (Prozac, Prozac Weekly, Sarafem), fluvoxamine (Luvox, Luvox CR), paroxetine (Paxil, Paxil CR, Pexeva) and sertraline (Zoloft).
Serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), which include venlafaxine (Effexor XR), desvenlafaxine (Pristiq) and duloxetine (Cymbalta).
Tricyclic and tetracyclic antidepressants, such as amitriptyline, clomipramine (Anafranil), amoxapine and desipramine (Norpramin).
Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), such as isocarboxazid (Marplan), phenelzine (Nardil) and tranylcypromine (Parnate).

If you're taking an antidepressant that causes sexual side effects, one of these strategies may help:

Waiting several weeks to see whether sexual side effects get better.
Scheduling sexual activity before taking an antidepressant if your antidepressant requires a once-a-day dose.
Switching to another antidepressant that may be less likely to cause sexual side effects.
Adding a second antidepressant or another type of medication to counter sexual side effects. For example, the addition of the antidepressant bupropion or the anti-anxiety medication buspirone may ease sexual side effects caused by an antidepressant.
Adding a medication to directly improve sexual function, such as sildenafil (Viagra, Revatio), tadalafil (Adcirca, Cialis) or vardenafil (Levitra, Staxyn). Although these medications are used to treat sexual problems in men, initial research suggests sildenafil may also improve sexual problems caused by antidepressants in some women.

[tss7924]

I know she has taken some in the past that haven't worked for her. We are planning on adopting so the children thing wouldnt be a problem

Another factor that may contribute to this is that she has a fear of pregnancy and she doesn't want to be pregnant. She has anxiety about it, which in turn makes her not want sex from that as well.

[DreamP346]

Another factor that may contribute to this is that she has a fear of pregnancy and she doesn't want to be pregnant. She has anxiety about it, which in turn makes her not want sex from that as well.

What type of birth control are you guys on? If she has a fear of pregnancy, things like the IUD is very effective. Another option would be to not have intercourse but engage in other sexual activities - oral, anal, masturbation, dry humping, etc.

[tss7924]

She is on Camrese. We've done everything but anal, she doesn't want that, but all that was in the past. She just doesn't have any sexual desire right now.

[Motorguy]

No the doctor has not been consulted. She had been off of it for awhile and then the doctor put her back on it.

I am very happy with her, and I understand that sex is important in a marriage, but as I said before its more important to me that she isn't feeling depressed and is happy.

Well Tss I understand you standing right with her with this. But consult her doctor about no sex because of the medication that is not normal. Because when you get married and she still going through all this and she doesn't want sex still then that will get old pretty soon maybe not in 1 or 2 years but 5 to 10 years it will. Even maybe consult a sex therapist see if he has any idea why she going through not wanting to have sex.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You get used to not having sex, more so for a woman to the point where it's not important anymore, yet, once you have it again, it's like riding a bike, you want to jump back on again.

The longer she doesn't have sex, the less she will ever want it if at all, I appreciate your love but your love becomes "best friends" like twins, without sex there is no bonding.

Does she allow you to hold her, hug her, kiss her?

I agree with everyone to consult a Doctor, it could be such a very simple thing like a tad less dosage and she still feels great but starts to get back those feelings on "intimacy" and if on the pill, offer to also wear a condom so she loses the fear of getting pregnant.

[Justice]

I know she has taken some in the past that haven't worked for her. We are planning on adopting so the children thing wouldnt be a problem

Another factor that may contribute to this is that she has a fear of pregnancy and she doesn't want to be pregnant. She has anxiety about it, which in turn makes her not want sex from that as well.

Every one is stuck on the medications, I have a couple of thoughts here....
Sometimes, with some conditons for some people, the medicines are NOT interchangeable; regardless of what posters may think. I have tried a lot of different meds for anxiety, many are anti-depressants, and in many cases the other side effects actually exacerbate anxiety. Even the ones that work have often the effect of sometimes being over sedating. Again it may not be so easy.

BUT.... TSS7924 comments about her being afraid of getting pregnant, really can be even a bigger problem than anti-depressants. The fear of pregnancy combined with religion and anxiety/depression issues, I believe were the reasons that I made it to 50 celibate. I wonder if TSS7924 and his woman have considered a vasectomy? Especially if they are considering adoption if they ever want kids

[muffin70]

TSS - I think you and her need to see a specialist... I think it is her fear of getting pregnant that may or may not be the issue here. I'm sure there are sexual therapists in your area that could help? I think you need to help her and find out why she has no desire for any sort of sexual activity - maybe she has underlying problems or something?
But I do commend you for being so patient with her... you must be suffering from MSB (massive sperm buildup) by now!

[Motorguy]

You get used to not having sex, more so for a woman to the point where it's not important anymore, yet, once you have it again, it's like riding a bike, you want to jump back on again.

The longer she doesn't have sex, the less she will ever want it if at all, I appreciate your love but your love becomes "best friends" like twins, without sex there is no bonding.

Does she allow you to hold her, hug her, kiss her?

I agree with everyone to consult a Doctor, it could be such a very simple thing like a tad less dosage and she still feels great but starts to get back those feelings on "intimacy" and if on the pill, offer to also wear a condom so she loses the fear of getting pregnant.

Very good point CW it was my point a exactly.

[dyunysus]

I would suggest you think really hard before committing to her. Depression is a life long condition. There will be times she seems fine and others she will hate her life, even though nothing changed. Also you say your okay with not having a sexual relationship because you love her that much. Trust me eventually you will want that sexual relationship and after many years of waiting for her, you will simply give up and get sex elsewhere and that will be very hurtful to her and you.
Some people with depression worry that the condition will be "passes on" to their kids. This fear is unjustified because this can happen to anyone at anytime.