[AliceStaklo]

Hey all, I don't really have anyone to properly talk to about this so I'm hoping I could get some help here.

I'm 19 and I'm thinking about having sex with my boyfriend. He's 23 and has had sex before (which I don't mind, I prefer for the other person to know what they're doing), but he's never had sex with a virgin. I guess I should say that he is not pushing me into doing it and has told me that he doesn't want to force me into anything I don't want. I do want to have sex with him, but I'm worried about a few things. I'm petite, have small hips, generally very tiny and when I masturbate I don't insert fingers into my vagina, and the very few times I've tried, only maybe three quarters of my index would go in before I couldn't go in any further (my fingers are very small too). I read online that trying to use tampons might help with stretching me out a bit so a few days ago when I got my period I tried putting a tampon in but only got in a few centimeters before it started to hurt really bad and I chickened out.

Basically, I'm really worried about losing my virginity and was looking for some advice which would help the whole thing go easily. I know it's going to hurt regardless, but the way things seem now, I can't even figure out how he'd be able to finger me, let alone do anything more. :I

Anyway, advice/personal experience is more than welcome and would be of huge help

[DreamP346]

I know it's going to hurt regardless

No it's not. That is a myth. Most of the pain comes from stress, lack of lubrication and lack of partner skill. Search the history here. This topic has been discussed several times. You will finds lots of good advice.

[jen1447]

Absolutely true ^ it doesn't have to hurt in any really significant way. If I were you tho hon I'd stick with what works for you, which if I'm guessing right would be clitoral stimulation. Don't have him penetrate you at all this time, and don't even have him put his fingers inside you. Just guide his hand to your clitoris and show him how to massage it in a way you like. He should be more than happy with that for starters.

(Oh btw, always spend lots of time kissing and playing around before you get to 'the game' - caressing and tickling and giggling and all that. Don't start down the road to "straight to the sex" at your young age and experience, because the early ways we do things tend to make a big impression. Slow and steady wins the race. Use that approach now, stick with it (insist on it even), and you'll be a very happy woman down the line.)

[AliceStaklo]

^ Thank you! I think we're heading down the right path, we've had a few heavy make out sessions and he's really about pleasing me and told me to tell him if he does something wrong or something I don't like which is a good sign.

[Motorguy]

^ Thank you! I think we're heading down the right path, we've had a few heavy make out sessions and he's really about pleasing me and told me to tell him if he does something wrong or something I don't like which is a good sign.

Well good communication is always good with pleasing each other. There's no rush like Jenn was saying just do what feels good and be safe. Before you know it you be ready for that all in fun time then enjoy the fun of pleasing each others with kissing and touching right now it's not a race.

[jns]

Take it slow and have a few orgasms before having sex to get your body relaxed and ready for intercourse. Use store bought lubricant if necessary.

[jilljames8184]

Don't rush into anything. I was a naive twenty year old seeing a married man that was supposed to be separated from his wife. He was thirty five and treated me like a Queen. I was in love. He knew I was a virgin and said he wanted to make it very special for me. It started great. Dinner, dancing, then to really nice hotel for the whole weekend. He said we should stay the weekend because the first time might be a little bit uncomfortable for me and the whole weekend would give us an opportunity for more so I could enjoy making love. After a lot of foreplay we did it. It was very uncomfortable. Afterwards I was very sore but looking forward to the next time when I was supposed to enjoy it. That didn't happen. The phone rang early the next morning with a call about one of his kids and he needed to get to it right away. Our weekend was cut short. He called me a cab and said he would make it up to me next weekend. When he left that was the last time I saw him. I found out later that it was actually one of his friends that had called. His kids were out of town with his wife. He had planned everything just so he could take me and then slip out. He wouldn't return my calls and went out of his way to avoid me. What I thought was true love turned out to be a horny married man sleeping with a young virgin for the fun of it. I was hurt, angry, confused, and really mad at myself for the decision I had made. No matter what anyone tells you, you never forget your first time.I have tried to forget, but it is still very vivid after over thirty years. Make your decison very carefully!

[Motorguy]

Don't rush into anything. I was a naive twenty year old seeing a married man that was supposed to be separated from his wife. He was thirty five and treated me like a Queen. I was in love. He knew I was a virgin and said he wanted to make it very special for me. It started great. Dinner, dancing, then to really nice hotel for the whole weekend. He said we should stay the weekend because the first time might be a little bit uncomfortable for me and the whole weekend would give us an opportunity for more so I could enjoy making love. After a lot of foreplay we did it. It was very uncomfortable. Afterwards I was very sore but looking forward to the next time when I was supposed to enjoy it. That didn't happen. The phone rang early the next morning with a call about one of his kids and he needed to get to it right away. Our weekend was cut short. He called me a cab and said he would make it up to me next weekend. When he left that was the last time I saw him. I found out later that it was actually one of his friends that had called. His kids were out of town with his wife. He had planned everything just so he could take me and then slip out. He wouldn't return my calls and went out of his way to avoid me. What I thought was true love turned out to be a horny married man sleeping with a young virgin for the fun of it. I was hurt, angry, confused, and really mad at myself for the decision I had made. No matter what anyone tells you, you never forget your first time.I have tried to forget, but it is still very vivid after over thirty years. Make your decison very carefully!

Well to me this guy is the biggest dirt bag to the highest degree. No wonderful so many women can't stand guys of this type of guys who makes it bad for the good guys. Who wouldn't even think of doing this to a women and even more a virgin. I know my wife would have had revenge on her mind to ruin this guys marriage and life ratted him out to his wife make him look like the scum bag he really was. I can almost bet this was not the only time he did this same thing.

[jilljames8184]

I was so hurt and disappointed that I didn't even consider revenge. From what I heard later on, I wasn't his first during his marriage and probably not his last. His wife knew and didn't seem to care. Makes a person wonder what she was doing.

[Baboy]

Makes a person wonder what she was doing.

She was probably doing the pool boy.