X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Shadowfax
    Junior Member
    • Mar 2013
    • 5

    Large penis, painful intercourse after 2+ years

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 2+ years. I am a rather small girl, and his penis is rather big. I expected some pain in the beginning, and ever since, have taken steps to become accustomed to him. We use lube, I "practice" with larger toys, and we usually have plenty of foreplay prior to sex. I do enjoy sex with him, but nearly every time, I bleed, even at this point in our experience. And if it has been a couple weeks or more, it can be a bit painful and we have to move slow to make sure I can get past him getting in.

    I have heard over and over that the vagina can adapt, so why am I still having these issues? Could it be because our sizes are both on the extreme ends? Like I said, I do enjoy sex, but it bothers him that I STILL bleed and I wish it didn't still hurt occasionally. I wanted to be past that by now….

    Any insight or advice is appreciated.
  • jns
    Assistant Admin
    • Mar 2010
    • 8398

    There are limits to how much the vagina can stretch without pain and bleeding. Generally it can stretch enough to birth a small to medium sized baby, though with some bleeding and tearing. Birthing a large baby can cause more severe bleeding on a woman with a small vagina. I just lately saw a YouTube video of a natural birth and it was amazing how large the baby's head was to come out without causing bleeding. The whole process was amazing.

    That being said, the vagina during childbirth is different than during sex. During childbirth, the vagina stretches, the bones soften and internal organs move to some degree to permit the birthing process. For a small young woman who hasn't gone through childbirth, there may not be as much ability for things to stretch and accommodate. Your bf being on the large size per your description may make it so that the two of you may not fit correctly. It sounds like you two are doing the best you can to keep down your bleeding and pain.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment

    • Motorguy
      Veteran Member
      • Mar 2014
      • 3921

      Originally posted by Shadowfax
      My boyfriend and I have been together for 2+ years. I am a rather small girl, and his penis is rather big. I expected some pain in the beginning, and ever since, have taken steps to become accustomed to him. We use lube, I "practice" with larger toys, and we usually have plenty of foreplay prior to sex. I do enjoy sex with him, but nearly every time, I bleed, even at this point in our experience. And if it has been a couple weeks or more, it can be a bit painful and we have to move slow to make sure I can get past him getting in.

      I have heard over and over that the vagina can adapt, so why am I still having these issues? Could it be because our sizes are both on the extreme ends? Like I said, I do enjoy sex, but it bothers him that I STILL bleed and I wish it didn't still hurt occasionally. I wanted to be past that by now….

      Any insight or advice is appreciated.

      I would maybe talk with your OBGYN doctor and see if he has any subjection as well. With different types of lubes but any time you are bleeding each time having sex then something is tearing so that's not good. I would seek some answer with your doctor to get some answer then. So good luck I hope it works out for you.
      When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

      Comment

      • PhrendlyPhil
        Member
        • Jul 2013
        • 96

        Unlikely that your bleeding is being caused by the size of your boyfriend's penis (unless he's the size of a #10 can). More likely there is some irritation going on (possibly at the cervix?). Sounds like a good question for the gynecologist. Perhaps you should both go together.

        Comment

        or

        Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

        Join our weekly newsletter and get the latest thought-provoking bold research and fearless conversations about sex - plus exclusive product giveaways - delivered to your inbox.

        Latest Activity

        Collapse

        • Reply to Birth Control Thoughts

          Oh, this is a very many-layered topic! When I was younger, I visited Planned Parenthood (PP) for my own STI testing, for lots of reasons, but mainly for...

          09-16-2026, 08:09 PM By JonnyR
        • Birth Control Thoughts

          How are we all handling birth control now these days? I got the Nexaplanon 5 years ago and its time for a renewal. When I got it there was a huge buzz...

          09-15-2026, 12:29 PM By Birdie_567
        • Reply to Women - not climaxing

          Mermaidsheets that used to happen to me all the time. Seriously frustrating, but definitely nothing to be embarrassed about! So much of it can be a mental...

          09-11-2026, 11:12 AM By somewhereroo
        • Reply to Women - not climaxing

          Hello Mermaidsheets welcome to the forum! What you are experiencing with arousal and climaxing is actually pretty common for a lot of women.
          ...

          09-09-2026, 05:17 PM By JonnyR
        • Women - not climaxing

          Hello, I’m 40, a cis woman, and I’ve been married for 10 years. We were having sex and I was nearly to climax when it sort of just dissipated. This...

          09-08-2026, 08:19 PM By Mermaidsheets

        Latest Topics

        Collapse

        • Birth Control Thoughts

          How are we all handling birth control now these days? I got the Nexaplanon 5 years ago and its time for a renewal. When I got it there was a huge buzz...

          09-15-2026, 12:29 PM By Birdie_567
        • Women - not climaxing

          Hello, I’m 40, a cis woman, and I’ve been married for 10 years. We were having sex and I was nearly to climax when it sort of just dissipated. This...

          09-08-2026, 08:19 PM By Mermaidsheets
        • PCOS and unwanted hair growth

          Does anyone have any experience with PCOS and getting rid of unwanted facial hair? What started as one singular strand on my chin in my 20s has turned...

          07-27-2026, 07:25 AM By Birdie_567
        Working...