[barberchk]

This is happening to me as well. My husband and I have been married for 18 years. We've been together since we were teenagers. We have been thru a lot because of our immaturity and we have hurt each other alot. But we are still together. We have changed our life around and have matured. I admit that I have also been masturbating a whole lot lately and playing with my toys when Im alone. I don't tell him about it because he gets mad and yells at me. To be honest with you I lie when asked because I don't want to hear it. We have fought alot in the past and Im too lazy to deal with it now. He says he wants me to do that in front of him while we are intimate. I understand his point of view. Its not that Im uncomfortable. Its not that he doesn't satisfy me. Im 100% comfortable with him and he does satisfy me 100% as well. I do it because Im just not into him. We have forgiven each other and have moved on. We have begun a new chapter in our lives and have been good for the past 3 years. I just feel that Im not into him. Im very much into myself! Its been too much drama and that has caused me to feel how i do.

[jen1447]

Pretty revealing in terms of the questions a lot of guys come here asking, thanks barberchk. I don't like the yelling btw. Why do you tolerate that?

[Motorguy]

This is happening to me as well. My husband and I have been married for 18 years. We've been together since we were teenagers. We have been thru a lot because of our immaturity and we have hurt each other alot. But we are still together. We have changed our life around and have matured. I admit that I have also been masturbating a whole lot lately and playing with my toys when Im alone. I don't tell him about it because he gets mad and yells at me. To be honest with you I lie when asked because I don't want to hear it. We have fought alot in the past and Im too lazy to deal with it now. He says he wants me to do that in front of him while we are intimate. I understand his point of view. Its not that Im uncomfortable. Its not that he doesn't satisfy me. Im 100% comfortable with him and he does satisfy me 100% as well. I do it because Im just not into him. We have forgiven each other and have moved on. We have begun a new chapter in our lives and have been good for the past 3 years. I just feel that Im not into him. Im very much into myself! Its been too much drama and that has caused me to feel how i do.

Well Barberchk, you need to let your husband know you need that alone time for your self with your toys and to release the stress.My wife has toys and enjoy's sometimes just enjoy her self by her self without me. i do not care it's her times and pleasure we have a great sex life. So when she tells me i am relaxing for myself go watch TV run around the block I do that. But yelling like Jenn's says is not good it doesn't solve nothing just makes things worse not better.I hope you can work these problems out with your husband.

[barberchk]

Pretty revealing in terms of the questions a lot of guys come here asking, thanks barberchk. I don't like the yelling btw. Why do you tolerate that?

Cant tolorate it. Thats why I keep it to myself and when asked I lie.

[barberchk]

Well Barberchk, you need to let your husband know you need that alone time for your self with your toys and to release the stress.My wife has toys and enjoy's sometimes just enjoy her self by her self without me. i do not care it's her times and pleasure we have a great sex life. So when she tells me i am relaxing for myself go watch TV run around the block I do that. But yelling like Jenn's says is not good it doesn't solve nothing just makes things worse not better.I hope you can work these problems out with your husband.

I cant tell him I need some alone time for myself. He flips out. I have told him that I do not feel the same towards him. I dont have that passion or desire. All that teenage puppy love is gone. The type of love that I have for him is a more mature type of love. Im no longer love blinded. I see things clearly and I dont allow my emotions to fog up my sight. Everything I have been thru with him has made me more mellow and less of a jelous possesive ****y woman. I am also numb I guess. He cant hurt me more than what he already has. Im not inocent. Ive done alot to him too. But like I said we grew up and matured and forgave each other. We have been good for the past 3 years but the fact remains...this is the aftermath of all that nonsense...im just not into him. I always put others before me. Now I put myself first. I dont crave sex from him or no one else in reality. I want it from me and my toys. May I add that I have never masturbated until now. Believe it or not its true. I just dont want any one.

[Motorguy]

I cant tell him I need some alone time for myself. He flips out. I have told him that I do not feel the same towards him. I dont have that passion or desire. All that teenage puppy love is gone. The type of love that I have for him is a more mature type of love. Im no longer love blinded. I see things clearly and I dont allow my emotions to fog up my sight. Everything I have been thru with him has made me more mellow and less of a jelous possesive ****y woman. I am also numb I guess. He cant hurt me more than what he already has. Im not inocent. Ive done alot to him too. But like I said we grew up and matured and forgave each other. We have been good for the past 3 years but the fact remains...this is the aftermath of all that nonsense...im just not into him. I always put others before me. Now I put myself first. I dont crave sex from him or no one else in reality. I want it from me and my toys. May I add that I have never masturbated until now. Believe it or not its true. I just dont want any one.

Well Barberchk it reads for what i can see you both need a break from each other and let cooler heads to die down. So move and enjoy yourself with pleasure with toys and it means a legal separation then you need to do that and find yourself and stop all this yelling and arguing it's not getting you anywhere with it period. But you need to get out of this relationship and be yourself or stay and be unhappy. That's not living but only surviving and going through the motion is all nothing else so good luck. I sure hope you can find peace with yourself.

[jns]

My husband and I have been married for 18 years. We've been together since we were teenagers. We have been thru a lot because of our immaturity and we have hurt each other alot. But we are still together. We have changed our life around and have matured.

This is why I'm glad I didn't try to get married as a teenager. I was too immature and most of the ladies near my age were too immature. Marrying at 31 let my wife know what she was getting and with her the same age, let me know what I was getting. It's better to know what you are getting and not fight as much.

[barberchk]

Well Barberchk it reads for what i can see you both need a break from each other and let cooler heads to die down. So move and enjoy yourself with pleasure with toys and it means a legal separation then you need to do that and find yourself and stop all this yelling and arguing it's not getting you anywhere with it period. But you need to get out of this relationship and be yourself or stay and be unhappy. That's not living but only surviving and going through the motion is all nothing else so good luck. I sure hope you can find peace with yourself.

We havent fought or argued for the past 3 years now. We have been good. I know what buttons not to push. That is one of them. So I keep it to myself. He hasnt asked me if I have for the past 3 years because he doesnt suspect it. I have learned to hide it well. But I do feel that the reason as to why I enjoy myself and my toys is emotional. I am not emtionally attached him. I guess I can say I have built a wall. We have seperated numerous times in the past. Theres just a bunch of lunatics out there. But we are good now. Seperation and divorce is not an option for us. It doesn't solve anything it just makes things worst. Nobodys perfect. We all have defects. We are now commited and meant our vows for better or for worst till death do us apart. Alot of people only take the better and when worst comes they run.

[barberchk]

This is why I'm glad I didn't try to get married as a teenager. I was too immature and most of the ladies near my age were too immature. Marrying at 31 let my wife know what she was getting and with her the same age, let me know what I was getting. It's better to know what you are getting aI d not fight as much.

Yes I agree if I can do it all over again I would wait till my 30s to marry not 16. I am mature now and got it all out my system and am mentally prepared for marriage and kids.Im 33 now. The good thing about it is that im basically done raising our daughter now and im still young. But the fact remains that i am emotinally detached from my husband therefore I desire myself and my toys more than him. We have sex almost everyday but I dont feel passion. Its something we are working on as a couple.

[Corey01]

The newness has worn off. You have to find new and exciting ways to spice it up.