[tjm0824]

Wow! My advice would be to decide what you want now that you discovered this about him. Is there any chance you might still want to be with him. Because if there is then here is something to think about........if you bring this up to him, he might want to just end things with you because he is just too embarrassed that you know.

[ecsdgirl]

I am not sure what I would do in this situation. I guess I'd want to know if I was "real" or not, or whether I am a dime in a dozen. He's 37 and not married, been with you a year what about before that? Short term girlfriends? 1,2,3 years? I think I would attempt to gather evidence for my own sanity before broaching anything with him. I'd want to know if he really is bi, gay or really wanting a woman in his life but has a past he is having trouble letting go of. If he is capable of loving a woman, "me"...

Then I'd ask the question why he allowed me to use the laptop if he had "secret" information on there that I could possibly see, did he want me to see it, find it.....

I also agree with Claret, in as much as it appears you are more worried about his stance sexually with you, verses with men is that because you feel used? As in, there he is the submissive one but here, he acts out as the other male upon male as if he's experiencing the other side only on you. If that is what you are feeling, I would understand that.

I'm not sure once I found all of that out as to whether I would stay to be honest. I wouldn't be anyone's cover-up and that's what I am feeling just reading what you wrote.

Do you know his background?

Yes, he has been married twice has 2 children and is a high ranking military man. He did tell me I could use the laptop, he normally keeps everything locked down, so now I wonder if he let me use it so that I would find it. I am a very aggressive person sexually, well normally I am but I have taken a submissive role with him. I too am BI and he has always allowed me to be myself and the rule we set was that I would never do anything with anyone unless he was present otherwise it was cheating... now I say he kinda took that and flipped the script because he has clearly broken the 1 rule he set. My biggest fear is that I am a cover, but then everything else about him screams he wants to be in this relationship. He's an amazing provider, a great father a strong man( when hes with me) and he is basically everything a woman would want in a man ( minus his homosexual activity). I am not prepared to leave over his being BI what I take issue with is the lies, deceit and hiding **** from me, plus he has clearly been cheating, which for me is a huge deal breaker, and I never in a million years thought there would be an exception to that however this appears to be a situation I had not counted on.

[ecsdgirl]

I don't mean to freak you out, but the first thing I thought of after reading your topic is that you should get checked for STD's. STD's seem to be real common amongst gay/bi guys. They also tend to have many male partners, which makes STD's even more likely.

Yes, I took my happy self down to Kaiser and got checked for everything, I am negative. I can tell by his emails that he only plays safe, that being said he isnt doing anything without using protection, well except the oral stuff I saw apparently he has no problem doing that without protection which does make me cringe a little since I kiss him everyday.