[Findingluckystar]

I'm married about 13-14 years. Husband is not a romantic man,i always fascinates if he would give me romantic surprises I.e flowers /little gifts ( my favorite chocolates etc) occasionally.
I have always been hoping he would say something nice to me I.e. You're beautiful / you're sexy etc ...at first I thought I just don't deserve compliments from him, but when I look around my gf, I see their bf complimenting them lots even though the gf are looking just average . I'm in good shape,I get compliments from other men, I'm highly organize inside and out of the house,I' work part time with good income to help the bills, kids are taken care well....am I missing something to draw his attention?? Anyway, I find that I've kinda give up on getting his attention as this year, after the heavy hints, he bought me something on Mother's Day and valentines day,but I don't feel excited at all.whats wrong with me??
I enjoy sex but he has PE with probably 3 thrusts he's done, plus after his prostate surgery,thing becomes worst. I texted him to have his PE fix as I didn't want to hurt his feeling by saying directly to him & I think it is not fair to me that for 13 years I've been living submissively and feeling like I'm being used All the time. In the past he would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night wanting it, no foreplay, piv, 3 thrust,he was done ,kissed me on my cheek and went back to sleep. I never know that would add up resentments.
We used to have the bedroom pitch black when we've sex, these days he likes to have little lights, and I find myself very turn off seeing him, am I not attracted to him anymore?? Sex is very little theses days as I've fear of dissatisfaction and feeling of used even though we've toys & I don't find toys satisfying me. Anyone has bout the same issue??what do you do with it??

[Motorguy]

Well Findingluckstar, I am really sorry to read you are suffering this problem with your husband. My self being a man and married 27 years very happily.I really can't tell you how living in this type of married would be like. How ever have you look into a sex therapist for your husband with his PE problem that must be very frustrating for you with three pumps done drift off to sleep for him. I know my wife would be fuming and probably kick me out of bed if I did that. Now you saying you not attracted to your husband any more is that because of this problem or he not romantic in bed at all or just it's the whole thing about your husband you don't like anymore then. I would say maybe you both seek counseling together and try and work on your marriage for you both and the kids as well. This I feel you need for your self and your husband but more for your kids they are the one who suffer with divorce. So good luck for you and everyone involved god bless.

[effy2014]

There is nothing wrong with you . . . there is something wrong with the relationship. Marriages (just like any relationship) take effort to maintain. You are feeling unappreciated and unloved. This is a real danger to a marriage. Do you know how he feels? Have you complemented him on the efforts he puts in at work or other things he does for the kids and you? If you go first, maybe he will follow. If you have and he doesn't, then he needs to learn to be more expressive.

MG is right. The two of you need to communicate and the best place to start is in couples counseling. It does not take much effort for him to express his appreciation for you -- to notice how the house is kept, the kids are raised and how wonderful you look. Fix the way in which the two of you relate to one another and the sex part will be much easier to fix as well.

[DreamP346]

Wish I could offer you some advice that would help fix your situation. Unfortunately, I don't have any. All I can offer is the sympathies of a fellow sex/romance starved wife. Get used to the toys. After a while, you start liking them.