[Nikki29]

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Hello everyone-
My man and I have been together for just over 3 years and I have yet to give him a blow job. I really want to but there are so many things keeping me from doing it. For one, my ex husband was very abusive when it came to me giving him oral. I would have to do it 3-4 times a day and he would pretty much do watever he wanted while I was doing it. He wud get really rough and he would push my head down until I couldn't breath or I would gag. These are just a couple things he would do, needless to say I have a hard time even thinking about giving oral. Another thing that's keeping me from it is that my man is quite a bit older than me and way more experienced, he has an extremely strong personality and I fear that he will tell me he doesn't enjoy it. When we first met he told me he didn't care to get blow jobs, that it wasn't important to him. Now he is slowly trying to get me to do it, he does know about what I went through and has been very understanding and sensitive about it. It is now to the point of just being ridiculous, he LOVES to go down on me and does it almost every time we have sex and I would love to return the favor. What if I do it and I can't please him the way he does me? We have the most amazing, intense, passionate sex we both have ever had so I feel that I have a lot to live up to. He makes me feel unlike anything I've ever experienced both with sex and oral, I want more than anything to be able to return the feeling. My head gets flooded with so many fears when I am wanting to do it, but I can't keep letting my fears keep me from pleasing my man. I'm sure it will go just fine when I do it, but I sit and over analyze and it scares me. If someone has any good info for me, how you overcame your fears, or a man with a strong personality and how you would be if you had a girl like me....anything! Thanks so much guys!

[jen1447]

It sounds like he deserves to have the favor returned after putting in all that time for you hon. I understand the difficulties associated with your past, but not all men are like that and your new guy has shown he's not, even if he has a strong personality. My guess is that he'll make it perfectly alright for you.

One suggestion is to practice ahead of time with a dildo or vibrator - both to work on your technique (it's really not difficult lol - suction, pull in, push out, swirl tongue, repeat) and see how you respond physically to a phallus in your mouth. He'll also tell you what he likes most likely.

[jns]

Although being able to reciprocate is an ideal to strive for, it is not necessary or required in all circumstances. With your traumatic background, your bf should be willing to give you all of the time in the world to get comfortable about giving him oral. Keep up the conversations with him so he knows that you are trying but not there yet.

Him going down on you is a totally different thing. If he is like me, giving oral to a lover is the best thing ever and reward in itself. Really, there is no favor to return.

A question, what are you willing to do for your husband? Masturbating him? Kissing his privates or nearby? Nothing at all? I'm just trying to gauge how for you are away from giving him the oral that you are of two minds about. Maybe by breaking it down into very small steps you can become more comfortable with going forward.