The term fellatio is a word that derives from the Latin term fellatus, meaning “to suck.”
Slang Terms For Fellatio
Better known as a blowjob, BJ, slobbing the knob, cock gobbling, sucking cock, deep throating, giving head, and oral sex, fellatio is a popular activity that can make you and your partner feel empowered and sexy.
Giving head is a lot more common than you might think. One study found that 83% of women had given their partners oral sex at some point in their lifetimes.
With 92% of the study participants identifying as heterosexual, that equates to a lot of dicks getting sucked.
Whatever you call it, if you want to learn more about fellatio, I’ve got you covered.
In this article, we’ll talk about:
How To Give A Blowjob
If you’ve ever asked a friend (or, let’s be real, Google) how to give a blowjob, you’re not the only one.
It’s common to be nervous, especially if you’ve never given one before.
There are no hard-and-fast “rules” when it comes to sucking a dick, but there are a few helpful things to keep in mind.
- Don’t Worry About Your Skill
Your partner is probably not going to be judging your skills too harshly.
They’re just excited to receive a blowjob in the first place, so don’t feel as though you have to suck cock like a porn star to give your partner a great time!
When you’re going down, you can use just about every part of your mouth, except for your teeth — unless your partner is into that sort of thing, of course. (Ask first!)
Let your lips and tongue explore every inch, and pay attention to any visual cues your partner gives you.
Are their hips shifting toward your face? Are they quivering or touching your head? Are they breathing heavily, moaning, or speaking soft words of encouragement?
If the answer to any of those questions is “Why yes, they are,” you’re on the right track.
That said, don’t take utter silence to be an indication that you’re doing it wrong. Some folks are not as verbal as others so you’ll need to rely on their body language.
If your mouth or jaw starts to get a little sore, switch things up and use your hand for a bit — you can also use your hands with your mouth at the same time for double the fun.
Just make sure to keep that dick wet. Having a good amount of lubrication makes giving a blowjob much more pleasurable for the recipient.
Your own spit isn’t always enough, an edible lube can even make giving a blowjob easier for you — especially if the taste of pre-cum bothers you.
- Consider Your Gag Reflex
A lot of people are worried about gagging — and as someone who used to have an incredibly sensitive gag reflex, I feel you.
But you don’t have to let that keep you from going downtown. A combination of flavored and numbing lubes can help keep your gag reflex at bay.
Still, you want to make sure you don’t push yourself too far if you’re using a numbing lube, since these can put you at greater risk for injury if you’re deep-throating too hard and fast.
When you’re giving a blowjob, you are in control of how deeply you take that penis into your mouth, so only go as far as you can comfortably.
A penis never has to hit the back of your throat — unless you want it to.
Some women will “practice” deep throating on long vegetables or fruits to help reduce their gag reflex over time. Others choose to practice on the real thing.
That said, you can actually use your hands to make it feel like you’re deep throating — even when you aren’t.
With one hand wrapped around the base of the shaft, move your mouth and hand together in one fluid motion. This provides the sensation of deep throating, with your hand acting as an extension of your mouth.
- To Spit — Or Swallow?
When it comes to the age-old question of whether to spit or swallow, it turns out that a lot of people with dicks don’t really care.
That doesn’t mean you should spit as if you’ve just eaten something rotten — that’ll kill the mood pretty damn quickly.
Instead, be discreet and plan ahead. Some folks keep a selection of small hand towels in a nightstand drawer for sex-related cleanup, but even a box of tissues can get the job done.
Being prepared will help you stay in the moment and focus on what — or rather, who — cums next.
- Feel Confident About What You’re Doing
Finally, make sure you feel good about giving a blowjob, too.
This might sound like an obvious piece of advice, but cock sucking has often been seen as a demeaning act, especially for women.
And sometimes, it can be — when it’s done for the wrong reasons or against the will of the person giving the blowjob.
That said, there is something intimate and inherently powerful about bringing a person to orgasm this way.
A lot of folks find that giving a blowjob is as big of a turn-on as receiving oral sex themselves, and nothing is demeaning about it as long as it’s safe and consensual.
How To Receive A Blowjob
If you’ve got a dick and you’re reading this, you might be wondering, “Wait, are you telling me I have to do something to receive a blowjob?!”
While the person receiving a BJ usually doesn’t have to put in quite as much work as the person who’s giving it, there are a few things you can and should do to make sure your partner is comfortable.
- Arrive With A Clean Dick
That sounds like a no-brainer, but it’s important to be clean before someone gives you oral sex.
No one wants to give a tongue bath to a dirty pole.
While everyone has their own unique scent and that’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s a good idea to be considerate of your partner.
So if you’ve just come home from working out at the gym or taking a 30-mile bike ride, take a shower first.
You don’t have to scrub yourself raw or do anything special — just use normal soap and water. That’s all it takes.
- Keep Comfort In Mind
Make sure both you and your partner are in a comfortable position — don’t expect him or her to have a good time if they’re getting rug burns on their knees while sucking you off.
If you’re going at it for a long period of time, consider changing positions now and again — your partner’s neck will thank you.
On a similar note, don’t grab your partner’s head and thrust your cock into their open mouth unless you’ve been given the okay to do so!
I know that’s a popular visual in some pornography, but it doesn’t accurately reflect real life.
Trying that sudden move on an unsuspecting partner might very well result in an equally sudden dick injury.
- Offer Helpful Feedback And Be Considerate
Be open to expressing what you like — and don’t like — when receiving a blowjob.
Sure, a little mystery is fun, but you don’t want to leave your partner bobbing in the dark.
It’s also important to make sure you’ve established what your partner does and doesn’t like, too. Some people like it rough and sloppy, others more discreet and tidy.
Despite what some people might think, giving a BJ shouldn’t be a boring or unenjoyable experience for the giver.
Does your partner like using flavored lube? What about flavored condoms? Does your partner want to hear you express what you’re loving?
Either way, remember that you should both be getting in on the fun!
What Are The Risks of Fellatio?
Even though fellatio isn’t as risky as analingus or vaginal sex, that doesn’t mean it’s totally risk-free.
You can still get various STDs from oral sex, including HPV, so it’s generally best to use a condom unless you are aware of your status and that of your partner’s and you’re confident that you don’t need protection.
If you’re using a personal lubricant, which can make oral sex a more pleasurable experience for everyone, make sure it is meant to be ingested!
Edible lubes tend to be water-based and are safe for consumption.
Not all lubricants are safe to swallow, such as those which are oil-based, and choking on a lube during oral sex isn’t just a buzzkill — it can be downright dangerous.
You’ll also want to make sure your lube won’t break down the condom if you’re using one.
Your best bet is to stick with a water-based lube that is specifically meant to be ingested.
Whether you call it a blowjob, cock sucking, gobbling the knob, or something else entirely, fellatio is popular for a reason — and lots of people enjoy giving and receiving it.
Like anything else, the more you know about it, the better it will be.
So, whether you want to add something new to your sexual repertoire or you’re just looking to improve your sex game, open wide and give it a try!