[am94]

Okay, so for the past couple months, my boyfriend has been asking me to go down on him. And every time, I end up not doing it.

He's extremely understanding about it: this is my first sexual relationship ever and he knows that so he doesn't push it or ask why not and questions as such. There is no pressuring or treating me differently for it.

But the thing is: whenever he asks, my automatic thought process is actually yes. I have no problem with the idea of giving him something that he's been giving me. But when I decide "yes" and go to actually do the act... I freeze up. Like, my body shuts down and I just can't do it.

I know it disappoints him, and it upsets me too. I want to be able to pleasure my boyfriend the way he does me, and I can't get my brain to do so.

I feel like it's because I'm afraid of being bad at it, and I've talked to him about it and he said that you can't really be bad at it (which I'm sure is not the case) as well as you'd rather have it and it be bad then not at all ( which I'm also sure is not the case. )

Can anyone give me like, maybe some third party insight as to why I can think yes but not do it, or like, how to get over it?

[effy2014]

Can I ask how old you are?

One way to get over your fear of being bad (part of that fear could be worrying about hurting him) is to read about it. There are several decent books -- Tickle His Pickle by Dr. Sadie Allison and Passionista by Ian Kerner. Understanding what you are doing might get you over your fears. Both books are on Amazon and have Kindle editions.

[am94]

I'm twenty years old. He's turning twenty-two this year.

I've tried reading about it, and I know the basics ( I guess you could call them that ) to giving one, I know how it all works and stuff but I still freeze up.

[jen1447]

He's right in a sense that there's no bad blow job. For a guy, having your penis in a girl's mouth is kind of a watershed moment in life. But there are good, better, and great blowjobs and so on.

You'll figure it out, just get to it. It's great that you want to do for him like he does for you.

[DreamP346]

Take it slow. You don't have to give him a complete BJ the first time you try. Here is a suggestion:

Week 1: just get used to being down there. Maybe place some gentle light kisses. Rub your face against his penis. Blow on it. Once you feel comfortable with that
Week 2: add a little bit of tongue action. Wet kisses, licks. However, still don't take the penis in your mouth
Week 3: Take the tip in your mouth while you give him a handjob.

Once you feel comfortable with all that, you can start trying other stuff.

[Elena_EvilEye]

Just imagine you are sucking the sweetest lollipop in the world. Seriously justn go in for the take it on step at a time give kisses and some tongue action the kill. It may not be the best experience the first time but you will get better with more practice beside your BF's dream has come true with his penis in your mouth so he shouldn't mind too much.

[Motorguy]

Well Am94 being a guy and any type of licking,Kissing or sucking will drive us crazy and we enjoy it all So just take baby steps with kissing it or licking like a lolly pop. But like everyone said practice on something other then a penis like a banana you don't have to deep throat right off you can work up to that one day.But you will never do it unless you just do it and start off slowly and work up to doing the full BJ then.

[Element]

I agree with taking it slow if it's intimidating to you. My fiance is my first and only and I was open to the idea, but I was intimated when I saw him erected. The very first time I took my time and just explored to get myself comfortable, he was more than willing to lay back and let me do so and I think your guy might as well.

I took it slow by letting my hands explore him, I watched him for reactions to how I touched him, how I stroked him. I also asked him to guide my hands to how he liked it, that way I got more of a sense of what motions he liked. From there it was getting comfortable with my mouth on him. I started with kisses, then with licking. Go slow when you begin the blow job, get use to the feeling, do not try and go deep. Watch him, his reactions, how he moves, his eyes, his hands (some guys like to clench the sheets or rub their faces). It's all about reading someone, and what worked last time is not guaranteed for next time, sometimes you have to change things up. That's the great part of sex; exploring one another, take your time, be intimate, learn about them in a personal manner.

[Motorguy]

Very good advice Element, it seem you did well learning how to do it yourself. I assume your boy friend enjoy every minute of it as well.

[PhrendlyPhil]

am94: Yes, I would imagine being a novice at fellatio could be a bit intimidating. Here's the good news: You can give him oral-like pleasure without even taking him into your mouth! A lot of the pleasure for your man comes from the visual of seeing his penis near your face. You can rub his penis on your cheeks, chin, lips, forehead, etc and give him a tremendous thrill. To really spice it up, grab some lubricant and give him a hand job in close proximity to your face and or breasts. When he gets close to orgasm tell him you want him to "shoot it" all over you. That will drive him ape. He'll be very pleased and you'll have the satisfaction of a "job" well done, all without any oral penetration. You can work on the mouth part later.