My wife and I have been together for 4 1/2 years (married for 3 years), are in our late 20's/early 30's, and have a 1-year old child. When we were dating and for about the first year or so of marriage, we would have sex fairly often, maybe 2-3 times a week (and at our peak, daily). Since then, we have fallen more into the 1-3 times a month range. I've always had a stronger sex drive than her, as I would prefer to be intimate every other day or so, whereas she can seemingly go much longer. I realize that every other day is not always realistic (especially with a young child), however I feel we should at least be having sex 1-2 times per week.
While she enjoys sex when we have it, and nearly always orgasms, sometimes multiple times (2-3), she never initiates intimacy as she has stated that it makes her uncomfortable to do so. Therefore, that leaves it to me to initiate things and be shot down frequently since she is the one with the lesser sex drive. Needless to say, the frequent rejection is disheartening and off-putting, but a "necessity" the way things are today. I have been telling her, especially for the past few months, how dissatisfied I am with the frequency with which we have sex, and she apologizes but never takes any action to change anything. There is always a different excuse (too tired, not feeling good, too late, not in the mood, etc.).
My wife is a teacher and therefore has the summers off and during the school year gets home from work much earlier than I do. I was on her iPad one day this summer and somehow stumbled onto the browser history and happened to see that it was completely blank. Since my wife is on her iPad incessantly, this struck me to be unusual. Though the history was gone, I found out by searching online that some of the history would be preserved through Cookies that are saved on the device. Upon reviewing, I found multiple porn sites in her Cookies (tube8.com, fuq.com, fetish sites, etc.). Since then I have been clearing the Cookie data out daily and checking back to see if she visited any porn sites and I have tracked my results. On a typical week during the summer she was looking at porn (and I'm sure masterbating, since she admittedly used to masterbate to porn daily before we were married) 3-4 days a week and since school has resumed she has done so 2 times a week (presumably after school, but before I get home). Meanwhile, we she has been rejecting sex approximately 2-3 times per week and we have been having sex only once every week to two weeks.
I somewhat confronted her recently when she turned me down for sex and asked her why she didn't want to, insinuating that she was being satisfied sexually in some other way, to which she flat out denied and acted offended. Meanwhile, I know that she is lying.
What should I do? Should I confront her head on? I feel as though this is a borderline act of infidelity as she is essentially choosing another form of intimacy over being with me. I love her so much, but feel betrayed and unneeded. Thanks in advance for any help.
While she enjoys sex when we have it, and nearly always orgasms, sometimes multiple times (2-3), she never initiates intimacy as she has stated that it makes her uncomfortable to do so. Therefore, that leaves it to me to initiate things and be shot down frequently since she is the one with the lesser sex drive. Needless to say, the frequent rejection is disheartening and off-putting, but a "necessity" the way things are today. I have been telling her, especially for the past few months, how dissatisfied I am with the frequency with which we have sex, and she apologizes but never takes any action to change anything. There is always a different excuse (too tired, not feeling good, too late, not in the mood, etc.).
My wife is a teacher and therefore has the summers off and during the school year gets home from work much earlier than I do. I was on her iPad one day this summer and somehow stumbled onto the browser history and happened to see that it was completely blank. Since my wife is on her iPad incessantly, this struck me to be unusual. Though the history was gone, I found out by searching online that some of the history would be preserved through Cookies that are saved on the device. Upon reviewing, I found multiple porn sites in her Cookies (tube8.com, fuq.com, fetish sites, etc.). Since then I have been clearing the Cookie data out daily and checking back to see if she visited any porn sites and I have tracked my results. On a typical week during the summer she was looking at porn (and I'm sure masterbating, since she admittedly used to masterbate to porn daily before we were married) 3-4 days a week and since school has resumed she has done so 2 times a week (presumably after school, but before I get home). Meanwhile, we she has been rejecting sex approximately 2-3 times per week and we have been having sex only once every week to two weeks.
I somewhat confronted her recently when she turned me down for sex and asked her why she didn't want to, insinuating that she was being satisfied sexually in some other way, to which she flat out denied and acted offended. Meanwhile, I know that she is lying.
What should I do? Should I confront her head on? I feel as though this is a borderline act of infidelity as she is essentially choosing another form of intimacy over being with me. I love her so much, but feel betrayed and unneeded. Thanks in advance for any help.
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