[effy2014]

I asked my partner whether swinging is something he would consider if we ever got married (he is 30) and he flat out said no way because he couldn't bare the thought of me with someone else. Then I remembered this post and asked him if he would consider it if I was no longer able to satisfy him. His answer still remained a flat out no because he considered marriage to be a lifelong commitment to one person only. For better or for worse, through sickness and through health. He said that he would rather resort to using his hand than sleep with another woman. I think that the younger men are (not all!) they see sex as a 'need'. Your husband shouldn't be thinking about himself and his sexual 'needs' right now, especially when the love of his life is going through such a difficult time. I would stick to your guns on this one. If he isn't willing to wait it out then he's honestly not worth YOUR time.

******************

I feel for you. I really really do. There is no "happy and sexy compromise" when a husband forces his wife to make such a decision. The only compromise that would satisfy him physically and put your mind at ease would be a threesome where another woman was involved. That way you are also involved in the experience and could actively participate. But are you prepared to watch him with another woman? But then you must also ask, if sex almost once a day isn't enough for him, where does one draw the line? How many times is he going to ask you for a threesome/swing? At the end of the day it's your decision and your decision only. But you need to first think about your health and the baby. Best of luck.

I wish I could triple like this post -- and not because you agreed with me. You have a fantastic relationship and I admire your BF. Swinging isn't only about strong confident relationships -- you have to have a different view of sex and intimacy within and outside of the relationship. I don't and can't, so monogamy is for me.

As for the advice not to ignore the sexual needs of her partner, I would agree if sex were once a month, the OP was not sick and she was not pregnant. Her hubby is acting like a jerk.

[Hell on Wheels]

Her hubby is acting like a jerk.

I don't think he's acting...

[Silvervine]

I wish I could triple like this post -- and not because you agreed with me. You have a fantastic relationship and I admire your BF. Swinging isn't only about strong confident relationships -- you have to have a different view of sex and intimacy within and outside of the relationship. I don't and can't, so monogamy is for me.

As for the advice not to ignore the sexual needs of her partner, I would agree if sex were once a month, the OP was not sick and she was not pregnant. Her hubby is acting like a jerk.

Honestly, I have been thinking long and hard about swinging. After reading about peoples experiences, I can see the appeal in it. But it is a two way thing. I'm not sure if I would do it personally but I wouldn't rule it out. It might be a fun thing to try once and that's it. And when I asked my partner I was actually pretty shocked at his response as I thought it was something that most men would be open to. Same goes for threesomes. We discussed MWM and he said no way, again because he couldn't bare to see me with another man. WMW he was open to, and some women in a relationship would say no to that. It does come down to how you feel about the strength of your relationship and your personal view on sex and intimacy within and outside of the relationship. I'm also quite open about having a WMW threeway because I'm comfortable and feel secure about my relationship enough to invite another woman to share in our intimate encounters. But it's not for everyone and that's fine too! No one should be forced to do something they are not comfortable with. There is no right and wrong. It depends on the people as well as the substance of their relationship.

And yes, I think he is acting like a jerk. He's being extremely selfish. I also agree, if sex was once a month I would say well perhaps you could meet him half way. But the OP has literally gone above and beyond to satisfy this guy and it sounds so unappreciative and inconsiderate. The average couple have sex 2 to 3 times a week. Almost every day shows how committed the OP really is. I don't see how she could comfortably compromise on this kind of thing. He has said that she satisfies him emotionally and mentally but not physically. It's a terribly cruel thing to say to a woman but how else can a woman give him something she is unable to give? A threesome would be the only thing I could think of. At least she isn't left out in the cold while he goes off with another woman. It's something they can enjoy together. But again, it comes down to how comfortable she is about the relationship itself and how she views sex more broadly.

If it were me, I would honestly stand up and stick to what I believe in. You can be the perfect wife and give give give but you need to draw the line somewhere. This girl is a true star for already enduring so much.

[cathygirl]

I am bisexual and my husband has always known I'm bi. We have chosen a monogamous marriage. We watch movies with two women together, threesomes, etc. and we both find the idea very arousing. We are not willing to actually break our commitment of monogamy. Something that seems great as a fantasy might damage what we have together, and the risk is simply not worth it. I find all sorts of people sexually attractive and so does my husband (though only women for him). I'm not sure how I would take it if he started insisting we had to bring someone else into our bed, but after 14 years we've maintained our commitment to each other and I don't see it changing. For those that do "swing", that's great for them. I don't know that it would be great for us. Somehow, all the people in my own circle of friends, acquaintances, and online interactions it seems like it's almost always the men who bring this up. I think sometimes our fantasy lives get the better of us. I think people should be careful what they wish for - they might get something else in the process. I'm not saying don't, I'm saying be careful.

[effy2014]

I am bisexual and my husband has always known I'm bi. We have chosen a monogamous marriage. We watch movies with two women together, threesomes, etc. and we both find the idea very arousing. We are not willing to actually break our commitment of monogamy. Something that seems great as a fantasy might damage what we have together, and the risk is simply not worth it. I find all sorts of people sexually attractive and so does my husband (though only women for him). I'm not sure how I would take it if he started insisting we had to bring someone else into our bed, but after 14 years we've maintained our commitment to each other and I don't see it changing. For those that do "swing", that's great for them. I don't know that it would be great for us. Somehow, all the people in my own circle of friends, acquaintances, and online interactions it seems like it's almost always the men who bring this up. I think sometimes our fantasy lives get the better of us. I think people should be careful what they wish for - they might get something else in the process. I'm not saying don't, I'm saying be careful.

Often we read that, to have a "swinging" relationship, the partners have to have a confident and strong connection, suggesting that those relationships are somehow superior. IMHO, it takes an equally confident and strong relationship to have a great monogamous relationship that is full of intimacy. Bravo cathygirl and I agree -- there are great risks to crossing the fantasy/reality line.