[FlorOD]

Hey people!

I've started recently being intimate with my SO, and he has a lot of troubles getting in as 1) I don't lubricate enough and 2) my vaginal walls are way too tight.

However, I recently discovered that, with enough touching/licking/etc, my body finally starts to react, in the sense that my walls loosen up a bit to facilitate penetration, and I start to get wet (finally!!). Problem is, this can take as much as 30 min to reach that point (which includes many failed attempts to get in).

I was wondering if there was a way for me to quicken that up. For instance, would masturbating more frequently help? I know that, for various reasons, my sex drive has decreased a lot over the last year, and I would masturbate myself very rarely. So perhaps now that I'm sexually active, my body has "forgotten" how to get ready for sexual encounter?

Thank!

[atskitty2]

How old are you, by the way?
Many years ago, someone told me that sexually speaking, men are like microwave ovens, women are like crock pots. In other words, men are hot & ready in a few seconds, women take awhile to warm up, to simmer, get cooking & be done.

What's the hurry? Taking 30 minutes to heat up sounds like a wonderful time of relaxation, kissing & touching to me And he's trying to "get in" many times already in that 30 minutes? Are you feeling pressured at all to "reach that point?"
You sound pretty normal to me Flor. If you want to "quicken that up" you could use some artificial lubrication, but it doesn't seem there's anything wrong with your natural lubricator, it just needs time to work, which is normal, especially if you aren't a high-sex-drive, always ready kind of person. That, also, is normal. I don't think your body has forgotten how to get ready, I think you need to allow yourself time to be aroused, and tell your partner to relax & enjoy the journey!

[FlorOD]

Hi Atskitty2!

Don't worry, I don't feel pressured to reach that point at all! I agree that I'm pretty lucky to have a SO who's really sensual and enjoy taking his time. It's just that, being "vaginal" (is that how you call it in english?), penetration is THE most pleasurable thing for me, more than oral or manual stimulation. Or maybe it's just a question of knowing each other's bodies (since all of this is pretty new).

As for artificial lubrication, we've already tried but it doesn't help much since it was a bad-quality one. It also doesn't help that my SO has a hard time keeping his erection rock hard, which also explains why it takes a lot of time.

Anyhow, thanks for your help
Flor (20 YO since you asked!)

[Baboy]

As I guy, I share kitty's view.

When you say "as much as 30 minutes", that hardly sounds like a long time. Even when I was a teenager, I knew that girls needed time to relax and be ready. I did not then, nor now, feel the need to rush to "get inside". The journey and not the destination is important. Kissing, cuddling, for a half hour or so is so pleasurable in itself, there should be no need for "many failed attempts to get in". There should be no attempt during that 30 minutes. That time should be for the touching, licking, etc. that you realize will get you ready.

[effy2014]

I am with Kitty and BB -- it's the journey that is most important. Intercourse may be the ultimate goal, but the intimacy created by kissing, licking and touching should be enjoyed just as much.

If you are looking for a better lube, I recommend the Pjur line. You can buy them online. Enjoy.

[jns]

30 minutes sounds like fun and a challenge.

[PhrendlyPhil]

You're not alone. Some women have difficulty lubricating even with lots of foreplay. My wife has the same problem. About 15 years ago we started using Astroglide (available at any drugstore). It is a very high quality lubricant, lasts a long time, and has saved our sex life. I call it the nectar of the gods.

[raindancer]

If you're unhappy with the 30 min, you could try to start way before the actual being together to do it. Sexy text messages between you, thinking of him THAT way... this kind of stuff.