[KRMJWG2442]

Hi everyone,

Over the past several months I have noticed that my girlfriend's desire and "wanting" me has declined. Yes, we still are able to have sex on a consistent basis until the past month. This is when the frequency of sex itself started to decline as well. When I would initiate with my girlfriend she would simply state she was not feeling it that day without any more explanation. I am a 27 yr old male, who has had a constant sex drive and desire for her. I want to get back on track to the level we were at earlier in our relationship. I feel subtly that she slowly got into a routine and the desire of sex did not appease her as much. It has made myself very sexual frustrated as of late and I do not want to have it control my everyday mood.

I do not want to place blame on her or make her feel guilty when she is not in the mood. I do understand it can not be everytime I ask. I just want us to have a understanding of each others' needs. I want to be heard and understood. I would love if she started initiating again more, being flirty, and having the desire she had. Can anyone help with tips on talking or what to expect?

[effy2014]

The first question is: Is there anything going on in the relationship or in her life that might affect her desire for intimacy? The second question is: Are you certain?

Sex and intimacy are the first things to suffer when the relationship is not right. Women generally need to have trust and feel appreciated and respected to have a robust sex life. Rather than assess "blame" or make her feel "guilty" -- as if she has a duty to you to have sex on demand or meet your sexual requirements -- perhaps a conversation is the right place to start. Instead of asking why she doesn't like sex anymore, I would suggest asking whether she is unusually stressed and whether there are any issues in the relationship the two of you need to discuss. If she asks why, you can say that you noticed a decrease in her sexual appetite and want to fix things if there is a problem.

[KRMJWG2442]

The first question is: Is there anything going on in the relationship or in her life that might affect her desire for intimacy? The second question is: Are you certain?

Our relationship has actual been blossoming toward marriage of late. I am very much a part of her life and can not think of anything that has changed for her to start having less desire.

It feels more as time goes on she is more and more comfortable with how things are going with our life life and that it can be slowly decreasing her desire to not want it as much, where for me, I still am working on the same level of desire as I was in the beginning of our relationship.

[effy2014]

It is possible that she was trying to lure you in with a high sex drive and now, having succeeded, is going back to her "normal" sex drive -- but I highly doubt it. Women do not generally turn off their sex drives because they are comfortable with the relationship. It should remain the same or increase.

Have a real conversation. It may be eye opening.

[Echo7]

How long have you been together? It's pretty normal (imo) for things to wane as time goes on.. perhaps the 'honeymoon' phase is over? I would love to hear from anyone that still has that crazy lust phase going on (that you have in the first 2 years) after many years together..

Just because she has settled in the relationship and things have slowed down, doesn't mean she no longer desires you