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  • Echo7
    Member
    • Sep 2014
    • 43

    question for those in long term relationships..

    I'm wondering about those of you that have been with your partners for 15 + years.. how you feel about your sexual relationship?

    Do you consider you 'make love' or just '**********'? I understand it can be different every time and usually a combination of both. But what if you feel you don't "make love" or feel a strong feeling of love & connection after sex. Does that mean you no longer love your partner? Or does it mean you do, but just aren't 'IN' love anymore?

    Interested in others thoughts.. TIA


    (Please move thread if I have posted in the wrong forum)
  • Stillness
    WH Poster of the Month April 2017
    • Feb 2012
    • 3679

    I always feel a strong connection. Sex can help smooth things over and strengthen bonds, but it's not a cure-all.

    Being "in-love" is overrated to me, unless you're a fairy tale princess. In real life relationships take work. If you lay a solid foundation, then sex can be part of the mortar that holds things together. If you've got a shaky foundation, then all the lovin' in the world can't fix it.
    "Those sowing seed with tears
    Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

    Comment

    • Motorguy
      Veteran Member
      • Mar 2014
      • 3921

      Well for me i still love my wife just as my much as when we got married. Are sex life is still very strong we both are very highly sexed and need sex 4 to 5 times a week after 27 years and 4 daughters. I guess we was both blessed to not had a fall off in both are sexually appetites for each other after all these years.
      When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

      Comment

      • Echo7
        Member
        • Sep 2014
        • 43

        Originally posted by Motorguy
        Well for me i still love my wife just as my much as when we got married. Are sex life is still very strong we both are very highly sexed and need sex 4 to 5 times a week after 27 years and 4 daughters. I guess we was both blessed to not had a fall off in both are sexually appetites for each other after all these years.
        wow.. you guys are lucky! That's a pretty good average for so long together

        Comment

        • JonDoe
          Veteran Member
          • Sep 2010
          • 444

          Originally posted by Stillness
          I always feel a strong connection. Sex can help smooth things over and strengthen bonds, but it's not a cure-all.

          Being "in-love" is overrated to me, unless you're a fairy tale princess. In real life relationships take work. If you lay a solid foundation, then sex can be part of the mortar that holds things together. If you've got a shaky foundation, then all the lovin' in the world can't fix it.
          I agree, but I'd also like to add that removing the mortar can and will cause things to fall apart too.

          Comment

          • kdc
            Member
            • Apr 2013
            • 89

            Originally posted by Echo7
            . . . Do you consider you 'make love' or just '********************'? I understand it can be different every time and usually a combination of both. But what if you feel you don't "make love" or feel a strong feeling of love & connection after sex. Does that mean you no longer love your partner? Or does it mean you do, but just aren't 'IN' love anymore?
            When I've felt that way, it was because we weren't communicating very well. When we're both keeping the lines of communication open and moving, it's a wonderful thing.

            I have to admit that, over the course of the past almost four decades, there have been times when it was more about sex. (Mostly in our first couple of decades.) It's all about making love nowadays. Since we've aged, we seem to appreciate each other more. We take more time and concentrate on satisfying one another a lot more now than when we were young and more about the lust.

            Of course, since menopause hit, my hormones went into overdrive. I have to admit that has enhanced our relationship a good bit. ;-)

            Comment

            • Motorguy
              Veteran Member
              • Mar 2014
              • 3921

              Originally posted by Echo7
              wow.. you guys are lucky! That's a pretty good average for so long together
              Yes we are bless we both know are pleasure points with each other. I am more into getting the wife off first before I do that way as they always say it's better to give then received lol. I think that's more of gift giving i use it for sex as well lol.
              When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

              Comment

              • jilljames8184
                Member
                • Jun 2014
                • 85

                I make love to my husband because our love takes it higher than just physical pleasure. I have sex with my boyfriend because there is no emotional attachment. I guess that's why our "arrangement" works so well; because I can separate my emotions from my physical pleasure.

                Comment

                • bubba29
                  Senior Member
                  • Feb 2013
                  • 116

                  Originally posted by Echo7
                  I'm wondering about those of you that have been with your partners for 15 + years.. how you feel about your sexual relationship?

                  Do you consider you 'make love' or just '********************'? I understand it can be different every time and usually a combination of both. But what if you feel you don't "make love" or feel a strong feeling of love & connection after sex. Does that mean you no longer love your partner? Or does it mean you do, but just aren't 'IN' love anymore?

                  Interested in others thoughts.. TIA


                  (Please move thread if I have posted in the wrong forum)
                  you may want to read a book called "Five Love Languages". it will answer a lot of questions for you and may even help strengthen your relationship.

                  Comment

                  • Hell on Wheels
                    Member
                    • Aug 2014
                    • 18

                    Originally posted by Echo7
                    I'm wondering about those of you that have been with your partners for 15 + years.. how you feel about your sexual relationship?
                    It really is a blend, at least for me. I think being deeply in love drives it, though. To me, she is the most beautiful and desirable women in the world, and this world is full of beautiful and desirable women. Her voice over the telephone makes me as horny as seeing her in something sexy or nothing at all. The non-sexual part of our relationship has yielded an emotional intensity that always carries over to our physical relationship to the point that I can't recall ever feeling just physical gratification.

                    Not saying all is perfect in our world. We've got our differences outside and in the bedroom, but I think we laid that foundation Stillness speaks of. So, even when things are much more wild than romantic, I still get that chill and wow like the first time with her. Like I won the lottery 23 years ago and didn't blow the money.
                    Last edited by Hell on Wheels; 09-04-2014, 07:40 AM.

                    Comment

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