[Euphoric]

I’m feeling pretty lousy. Last night I missed the proverbial boat, which in turn upset and frustrated my partner. And rightfully so. There were clear indications and conversations confirming our plans. After a few hours of foreplay conducted via independent participation of certain activities, I was excited and highly anticipating a thrilling evening. However, I’d let my imagination run rampant because of the vast array of activities we have engaged in lately, and I’d let my thoughts and assumptions perpetuate scenarios that deviated from the plan. When the time came, I was in a flirtatious mood and assumed some fun filled teasing was being employed. As a result, I inadvertently created a situation non-conductive to trust and surrender for mutual benefit.

The backlash from my actions carried over and resulted in a sleepless night and a miserable day today. However, I learned a couple of valuable lessons. One, pay attention to details so that I don’t let my partner down again. The feelings I’ve experienced today are not something I care to experience again, ever. Two, I need to be more understanding when similar situations happen to me. I now realize the implication involved when mistakes are made. In the past, I wouldn’t have been very tolerant of a blatant oversight, but now I realize oversights can happen very easily without intent to do so. I've beat myself up today.

I’m sure this lesson will make me a better person in the long run, but right now I feel lousy. I'd give anything to erase what happened.

Euphoric

[atskitty2]

Well Euphoric, I'm sorry you had a rough 24 hrs. Maybe with a day or two to reflect, it won't seem so bad?

[Euphoric]

Thanks, Kitty. I'm usually not in this position so knowing I'm responsible for something totally avoidable is hard to swallow. I'm typically way more astute and I feel like an idiot for having caused the situation. Nobody is perfect, and this is one of those lessons I'll never forget. I should have known better, especially when the situation in reverse would have frustrated me. I just got caught up in the moment because things have been so great. This has definitely been a sobering reminder that no matter how good things are, paying attention to details can make or break something in the blink of an eye. Maintaining good relations is much easier than trying to repair them. I royally screwed up.

[Stillness]

I don't get it. You messed up your action by doing or saying something stupid? That sounds like me. It's why I'm silent now when stuff goes down.

[atskitty2]

Well, obviously I have no idea what happened or your role in it, but it seems like an oversight, caused from being excited about it, seems a forgivable offense to me. Are you being too hard on yourself?
Of course, take away the lessons from it, but try to keep in in perspective, and don't beat yourself up too much. Hugs.

[effy2014]

It's hard to comment without the particulars -- but I understand not sharing highly personal details. So, two general comments. First, in the long run, anything that teaches us to be more understanding and tolerant of the behaviors of our partners is a great lesson.

Second, I'm sorry that he was not more forgiving. Misunderstandings, especially sexual ones, can be highly frustrating and embarrassing. However, our frustration needs to be tempered with the knowledge that the situation may have been caused by the best of intentions. I am sorry that it led to a crappy night and next day. Life's too short not to forgive more easily.

Don't beat yourself up.