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  • Cpolo44
    Junior Member
    • Nov 2014
    • 3

    I need help!

    Hi so I've been seeing this guy for about 2 1/2 months now and things are great! Especially the sex, there's just one problem he gets made when I don't make a mess and don't come. I mean I feel like I come every time cause there's dried up white stuff on his **** everytime I go down on him when I dry up. he does satisfy my needs when we **** but he gets annoyed that I dry up sometimes during sex. We do a ton of foreplay and what not but I just don't know if I'm coming I feel like I am but he says no. Any suggestions?
  • effy2014
    Veteran Member
    • Apr 2014
    • 1777

    There are three issues to address.

    First, your BF has no right to be mad at you whether you orgasm or not. Great sex is about the the journey, the closeness and the intimacy. As long as you are having a fulfilling sex life, his ego should be just fine. Communicate with him and not only let him know that sex is great for you but that he runs the risk of ruining sex for you by putting undue pressure on you. He needs to chill and be confident that sex is indeed good for you.

    Each woman is different. Some gush fluid, some don't. Some orgasm easily and others don't. He has probably been with a woman who gushed and thinks every woman does or should.

    Second, it would be good for you to know when you orgasm. Do you masterbate? Can you make yourself orgasm? It might be good to try.

    Third, if things dry up, use lubrication. My recommendation is Pjur, who makes a woman's water based lube.
    "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

    Comment

    • Cpolo44
      Junior Member
      • Nov 2014
      • 3

      I've never tried to masterbate before and maybe I'll try it, and I can't make my self have an orgasim. I know when i do organism but he doesn't think I do.

      Comment

      • effy2014
        Veteran Member
        • Apr 2014
        • 1777

        If you haven't masterbated, how do know that you cannot make yourself have an orgasm?

        Can I ask how old you are?
        "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

        Comment

        • Cpolo44
          Junior Member
          • Nov 2014
          • 3

          I guess your right I guess Ive never tried to

          Comment

          • Motorguy
            Veteran Member
            • Mar 2014
            • 3921

            Well Cpolo some women will not orgasm from intercourse. I would see your Obgyn about why are you drying up during intercourse maybe use some lubes see if that helps with you. What I have a problem with why is your BF getting mad at you because you not orgasming and leaving a spot of female juices. What issue does he have then if this up sets him with you about any of this. I would say get your self a sexually toy and just try if you can orgasm by masturbating by your self and get your female juices flowing more that way. I say good luck and tell your BF to freakin relax he should be honor to enjoy you sexually that pleasures go's both ways.
            When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

            Comment

            • RanchGirl
              Member
              • Aug 2014
              • 12

              Motorguy, agreed! If this guy "gets mad" about these things, then I'd question whether he is really the right guy to be with. Such attitudes tell you a lot about a person and whether this would be someone you would want to spend your life with.

              Comment

              • Texasred45
                Member
                • Sep 2014
                • 30

                Originally posted by RanchGirl
                If this guy "gets mad" about these things, then I'd question whether he is really the right guy to be with. Such attitudes tell you a lot about a person and whether this would be someone you would want to spend your life with.
                Agreed, and my very first thought.

                Comment

                • Ashlee T.
                  Veteran Member
                  • Dec 2008
                  • 6412

                  If a guy was pressuring me about that kind of thing, there is NO WAY I'd be able to get wet and stay wet, much less have an orgasm. It isn't a competition....geeez!!!! I'd tell him to lighten up or hit the road. That's giving you a complex that is going to make it hard for you to EVER relax enough to fully enjoy yourself and reach orgasm. Sounds like a HIM problem, not a YOU problem.
                  "Be what you're looking for."

                  Comment

                  • LilahX
                    Veteran Member
                    • Jan 2010
                    • 291

                    It's one thing to be concerned that your partner isn't climaxing, but totally another to 'accuse' you that you're not. My theory has always been 'if you don't know if you're orgasming, then you're not'. It's not the sort of thing that can slip past you unnoticed. Your comment about leaving residue on him makes me wonder whether you're expecting to cum just from sex? Does he satisfy you orally? With his fingers? Is he hung up on wanting you to cum just from sex?

                    Good communication is the key to a great sex life. Is this something you can discuss (without judgement) with him? if not, then i doubt you're going to resolve this.

                    Comment

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