[N91]

First of all I'm 24 and my husband is 35 and I have a 1 year old baby girl, we've been married for 3 years now.

My husband doesn't get interment or show any kind of infection unless it leads to sex, so at any other time he basically treats me as one of the guys or he act like a big baby and I'm his mother, always seeking for my attention, telling me he have a headache or a paper cut and making such a drama out of it and wants me to pamper him all the time, I swear I even read him bed time stories, it was cute at the beginning but it's so annoying right now !! It feels like I'm a single mother of 2 !,


since the beginning of our marriage, I always want sex and always ready for it, it's the only time were I feel I'm feminine and really desired -it's the only time were he looks at me as a if I'm a women- but he on the other hand "not as interested" if I may say. We stayed months without any sexual gestures of any kind even if I came to him he will reject me. 💔
Back then the sex was ok, some times even good (even if it didn't happen very often and he insets of doing it with our tops on).
One more thing : he's not comfortable being naked around me and he dose not like seeing me naked as we'll it's some how a turn off for him he say, he schedules the sex in an annoying way like calling me in the morning saying that today an 4:30 we'll have sex because I have some ware to be at 5 "talking about turn offs"

After I got pregnant things became worse !
During my entire pregnancy we did it for about 3 times, and that's after my OB practically forced him to at my third trimester.

We don't want babies for now but a couple of months a go I stopped taking birth control pills for health reasons, he refuses to use any kind of protection he instead goes or anal, which I HATE as he'll every time we do it it feels like I'm beaing raped I cry and beg him to stop, I understand some girls enjoys it but I completely hate it, it gave me hemorrhoids and infections and all kind of these nasty stuff 😖
I told him that but for him it's ether that or non,

The sex now " if that what it is" became sooo emotionless, he basically stands there asking me to give him a blow job before he stuck it in my ******* and that's it 😡
I can't remember the last time we did it appropriately !

Uuuuggggghhhh now I reached a point I hate sex and some times I'm even disgusted with my own husband !!

And before any body say talk to him I have, I told him what I want I even show him a god dam pictures 😆 "how desperate you must be to do a **********ing presentation 😂" but he's just to selfish to change he thinks it's all about him and his pleasure

Please help !!!
What can I do ? What can I say to him to change this ?

[beethovengenius]

It sounds to me that you rushed too soon into marriage with this guy. You were 21 when you married him, in my opinion that is far too young to make such a call. The human brain isn't fully developed until the age of 25 or so. In the mean time and possibly long term, it might be advisable to seek marriage counseling and legal advice.

[bootsie]

I hate to say this and peoples might judge me for saying this.If you have already been through the talking to him and everythng and nothing still haven't changed on his part.Start being straight up with him and tell him that if he don't start taking care of his business,there is someone out there that are going to take care of it for him.The reason I said that,Is that a year ago me and the woman I am with went through the same thing as you and she put it very frank to me.Then once I understood what she was really saying,I started stepping up and things have gotten much better in that aspect.So start being frank with him about if he don't start taking care of you in that aspect,there is someone out there who will.

[muffin70]

Your husband does not like to see you naked?? - sorry but it sounds like he has a problem
for one thing sex should not be scheduled - unless you are trying to get pregnant and heed to have sex during your fertile time. sex should be spontaneous and fun
I think you do need to sit down and talk to him - be open and honest... tell him what you don't like (anal sex...etc...) and tell him what you do like... let him talk and open up. If you don't want / like anal sex, then maybe give him a blow job or a hand job to satisfy him? or when you have sex, make sure he stops before he climaxes and you can finish him off by hand.
The main thing is to talk to him about your feelings

[beethovengenius]

Your husband does not like to see you naked?? - sorry but it sounds like he has a problem
for one thing sex should not be scheduled - unless you are trying to get pregnant and heed to have sex during your fertile time. sex should be spontaneous and fun
I think you do need to sit down and talk to him - be open and honest... tell him what you don't like (anal sex...etc...) and tell him what you do like... let him talk and open up. If you don't want / like anal sex, then maybe give him a blow job or a hand job to satisfy him? or when you have sex, make sure he stops before he climaxes and you can finish him off by hand.
The main thing is to talk to him about your feelings

Yes, but she said she has already talked to him extensively about these issues to no avail. Furthermore, by the sounds of her description of her marriage with him thus far, marriage counseling or seeking legal advice seems to be the only route to take.

[N91]

Thank you everybody for responding ❤️

Like I said before I have spoke to him several times before, but the thing is he just can't take me seriously ! (I think it's because of the age deference)
Every time I open up to him he thinks I'm making problems out of nothing, and the problems I have is just another "ladies meltdown" if I may call it, and somehow temporary and will go by its own.

This time things got to far for me I can't even look at him anymore it makes me feel sick 💔

I'm a very very nice person, but this situation requires putting my feet down and demanding some changes, I need to have a conversation with him where he will take this problem seriously without mocking me or ignoring what I said.

I need to be *****y this time and he have to believe it 😈, but how can I do that ??
Please can anyone tell me what I can say ?

[Lexhill]

A way to show him your serious is saying that you want couples therapy. I would also say to him that the behavior he shows towards you is the behavior your 1 year old daughter will look at as normal. therefor it can be a big chance for her to seek the same when she is old enough.

You are in a very unhealthy marriage right now, and that is not ok. I do however believe in the promise of marriage, but it goes both ways. If he has broken his promise and won't change, divorce him for the health of you and your daughter. I am sorry to be so brutally honest. But reading this makes me mad, that someone can treat their wives so poorly.

I would say force couples therapy to try to repair your marriage for your baby girls sake. If that does not work go for divorce for the same reason. no baby girl should ever have to witness such complete and utter disrespect of their mother.

And yes a 1 year old child does see a lot more than you know. They see and believe without hesitation that things are supposed to be that way. Remember that.

[beethovengenius]

Thank you everybody for responding ❤️

Like I said before I have spoke to him several times before, but the thing is he just can't take me seriously ! (I think it's because of the age deference)
Every time I open up to him he thinks I'm making problems out of nothing, and the problems I have is just another "ladies meltdown" if I may call it, and somehow temporary and will go by its own.

This time things got to far for me I can't even look at him anymore it makes me feel sick ��

I'm a very very nice person, but this situation requires putting my feet down and demanding some changes, I need to have a conversation with him where he will take this problem seriously without mocking me or ignoring what I said.

I need to be **********y this time and he have to believe it ��, but how can I do that ??
Please can anyone tell me what I can say ?

As both I and Lexhill have already suggested to you, the only viable solution for you is either seek marriage counseling or legal advice or both. I hope things work out for you.

[N91]

Thanks everyone for your time, really appreciate it ❤️

[RanchGirl]

Wow, I am blown away by what you described you have had to endure with this man! He is what, 11 years older than you? When I was 18, I met a man who was 9 years older than me. My family were opposed, said he was too old for me, and cousins said I would grow out of him. They said it wasn't normal for someone that much older to want someone so much younger. Well, they were right, I did grow out of him. At such a young age, you haven't lived. And, I strongly believe that a man who would go for someone so much younger than himself, especially in that earlier part of adulthood, has some serious maturity issues. My boyfriend did. He was insecure, controlling, tried to isolate me from my family, isolated me from friends, and was very immature about so many things. Four years into the relationship I was very unhappy with him and knew I'd never marry him, but I was too afraid to leave, too afraid to be alone, so I wasted another four years of my life with him. Finally, I realized I'd be happier alone than with him.

The fact that your husband would force anal on you despite him hurting you is so appalling to me it turns my stomach!! And the fact that he can't handle nudity, it's just super strange. He's got some real hang-ups, and the way you are having to treat him like a child - yack! I would say cut your losses - the man is damaged goods and I fear that it's the kind of damage that won't ever be fixed to where he can behave like a normal partner. You sound like a very strong-minded girl, and I think, like me, you will grow out of him. It already sounds like you have. He has ruined the relationship for you and it will be hard to find the respect and love you once felt.

I am sorry that you have found yourself in this situation, and I hope that you and your child will find true happiness.