[Beautiful-Love]

Has anyone here ever experience excruciating pain from penetration?

My fiance and I have been trying to do it, but everytime it gets really painful there. We've tried orals and other methods, but it comes to penetration, the pain involuntarily makes me have this reflex of pushing him away. It's going to be my first time and I've tried masturbation, using lubes, but just when ... the head is about to get it, the pain just feels too intense from the sheer stretching of the hymen.

We've tried multiple times now, and I think because of the failed attempts/bad experiences, everytime when I think about sex, I automatically get anxious. I've talked to my best friend about it, read up on it...Does anyone have any tips?

I've seen those lubes that are supposed to de-sensitize the area down there? Anyone ever used that before?

[jilljames8184]

Try using some toys first. Start small with one that does not stretch you and work your way up over a period of time. Better yet allow your finance to use the toy on you while you do him orally. This could help in a couple of ways; it gets you used to the size, it should provide you with pleasure, and your fiance is receiving pleasure also. Not to mention he is getting to help you experience something for the first time. After a session or two, you may want him to penetrate you and you may not have the pain you had experienced previously.

[Bobich]

I've seen those lubes that are supposed to de-sensitize the area down there? Anyone ever used that before?

I've heard that these lubricants are not recommended for use...

Actually I agree with jilljames8184. You should try using toys first for the reasons described above.
If you make up your mind to do your first adult toy purchase I would recommend you to check (EDIT - outbound linking not allowed). It's not expensive and good quality stuff

Good luck!

[Funlife]

I believe sometime is a person mind set. be opened to your love one and work together. Yes, some woman have thicker hymen and cause pain when penetration. try using your finger one, two in one and so on.
happy trying

[indihannahluu]

I have a similar problem to you, and I suggest, if you haven't already, you look up vaginismus. It's incredibly common, almost everyone with a vagina will experience it at some point or another. It can be caused by a bad previous experience with any kind of penetration (fingers, tampons, penis, toys, etc). I suggest going to a doctor, and explaining, they'll hopefully be able to hook you up with a local anaesthetic gel/cream (don't use those lubes, they make it worse, best to get proper stuff if you want a numbing effect or just plain water-based lube), and you can work from there. Using toys or dilators or gloved fingers (available on NHS if you're in the UK) will help you become accustomed to something being inside your vagina, while the numbing cream will keep you less aware of the pain. it's usually a psychological reflex that causes the tightening up, and therefore pain, so you can link your breathing to kegel exercises (tighten on inhale, relax on exhale). The tip of your other half's penis won't have reached the hymen unless they're at least an inch inside you, so it's more likely to be something like vaginismus than a hymen problem (however, it could be an issue, but only a doctor can work that out for you). Don't worry, you're not abnormal, or wrong, it's incredibly common. It will take time and patience to retrain both your brain and vagina to understand that whatever is going in there is supposed to be there. If all else fails, I would definitely recommend consulting a doctor or gyno.