[vember]

Ok so I am really close with my husbands friend, we all always hang out, although I have never just hung out with just me and him. My husband will always tell him things he's said about me and tries to make us flirt with each other. I always know he's doing things on purpose. Like he will set things up like me seeing his friend in his underwear out the shower or in a towel or things like that. Never seen him fully unclothed, although my god ive seen nearly perfect outlines. He's always saying some smart comment on how he's black you know what that means. That's the type of relationship we have, very comfortable.

And now he's asked me if I will go skiing with his friend ( which is apparently giving the two handjobs at the same time) to see who will last the longest? Now I would never want to hurt my husband ever, but he is so set on it that it seems like it would make him happy. He even says who knows what will happen after that. I am not going to lie he has me kind've curious because my husband is a minute man with a smallish ****. But I would never want to hurt him. Anyone been in this situation before?

[effy2014]

Quite the cliche . . . husband has a fantasy about his wife and a black man. This is not something to get into by innuendo and without direct communication. I would talk with him directly and ask why he wants to bring his friend into your bedroom. This could irreparably change your relationship with your husband and his friend. I would also think very hard about how this will make you feel about your marriage relationship.

While I admit to being a monogamous, I also understand that different marriages operate under different rules. Just make sure the rules are well defined. He may want the same with another woman -- how would you feel about that?

[LilahX]

There are many men (my partner included) who love nothing better than seeing the woman they love being pleasured/pleasuring another man. These are men who are secure in themselves and in their retlationships and love indulging their lady, and themselves. I wouldn't go into it without a lot of honest discussion including boundaries and 'rules' (like would there be kissing etc) but if, after talking, it's something you'd both be turned on by - go for it. (As an aside, I'm going to a conference next week to a city where a guy we've had a threesome with lives and my partner can't wait to know if the guys will be able to 'catch up with me' - even though he won't be with me to enjoy watching he wants me to have a good time and will be turned on by that). Good Luck!!

[jilljames8184]

Your comment "...because my husband is a minute man with a smallish ********. " could mean he just wants to see you satisfied sexually and feels he cannot satisfy you. My husband is like that. Our emotional bond is extremely strong, but he cannot provide the physical sexual pleasure I desire. I have had boyfriends most of our marriage to satisfy that need. It's not a cuckold situation. I still enjoy sex with my husband also; it's just different. Sex with my husband is emotional while sex with my boyfriend is purely physical. Talk with your husband and see if the situation is similar.

[Ashlee T.]

As the others have said, communication is CRITICAL here. Get past the jokey, flirty stuff when this topic arises and get down to business with your husband to really determine what he is seeking here. Sure, this could be pure fantasy on his part. Could also be a test of your loyalty (which would be somewhat sick and manipulative if that were the case). Could be as jill said, that he feels like he can't satisfy you as well as this guy could.

Once you talk, openly and seriously about this, set the boundaries, etc...then at that point you should do only what YOU are comfortable with.