[landare]

Hi,

I wonder if it is normal that my boyfriend talks me quite dirty at bed.
He talks me about wanting to have sex with other people, and that he imagines me with other men and women, and that he wants me to have sex with another man and to tell him.
In the past he did not talk that way, but now the sex is much better.


Do you think I should worry?

thanks

[metboogie]

Well, the sex is better, but at what cost? As long as it stays just talk, your OK...you just need to vocalize that to him.

[ChelseaRenee]

Mm, I've read a few times about women saying their spouses do this, but I'd hate it. SERIOUSLY. SERIOUSLY hate it. He wants to watch me have sex with another man? Ugh. I'm not a *****, why would you want another man touching what's yours? And if he told me he wants to have sex with another women? Don't let the door hitchya. ESPECIALLY if he brought these things up while we were being intimate. But, to each their own. If you're okay with it, then go crazy.

[landare]

well...

Thanks for your replies,

the thing is that in our daily life he is quite jealous,
and he would be very upsat if something was going on with another guy.
That's why I am confused...
And he never talks me about doing strange things when we are not in bed.

???

[Little]

Strange things turn people on. If during sex my boyfriend called me a "dirty ----," I'd probably orgasm right off.
If he said it in conversation, I'd probably burst into tears.

[sourpuss]

You need to have a long open talk with him about where this is coming from. Is he sabotaging the relationship? Seems like he's pushing you to do something to prove he has a reason to be jealous.

[landare]

isn't this possible that he is only turned on that way...???he is not a guy that would ask me to do something bad

[anonymouswhitefemale]

I find the idea of me and another man 'pleasuring' my girlfriend quite arousing, but the truth of the matter would be different. From what I hear, it's actually quite common for men to fantasize about their partners with other men...

[MLN2603]

It is very common and alot of men fantasize about it... I honestly wouldn't think it's anything to worry about. But if it's bothering you, do the same as you would with any situation... talk to him. Open up to his fantasy. It doesn't mean you have to fullfill it but open up to him and talk dirty back to him... it can do amazing things!!

[LadyLane]

I think he's just talking about fantasies out loud to enhance the experience. I love it, don't know why. Sometimes my husband and I have unbelievably dirty mouths in bed, sometimes not.

You say he's very jealous and I'm sure he wouldn't want you with another man... which makes it "taboo" to him and therefore, fantasizing about it is very arousing.

If you're comfortable with it, I say talk back to him - you said the sex is amazing... I bet it would be even moreso.