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  • harryone
    Junior Member
    • Feb 2008
    • 1

    he can not satisfy me

    My husband can nolonger satisfy me sexually. I love him dearly but due to health issues he no longer can give me an orgasm. He has made an offer to me that he willget a man to replace him in the bedroom I wanted to say yes yesa yes but am scared to do so do u think I should accept his invertation?
  • rcoreyus
    Veteran Member
    • Sep 2007
    • 4369

    Don't know what the health problem is. Could he still satisfy you using vibrators or other sex toys?

    If not - hm, need to know him well. Maybe you should take him up on his offer - he might feel terrible denying you a happy sex life, and actually prefer you to be with another man.

    This isn't simple though. Most people can't (and don't want to) have sex without an emotional attachment. You might fall for the other man. He might fall for you.

    If it were me, I'd prefer my wife had another lover to my being responsible for her having no sex life. But that is just me.

    Comment

    • anonymouswhitefemale
      Veteran Member
      • Sep 2007
      • 1343

      I'd say it's impossible to answer this question without knowing FAR more about the situation. As for not being able to make you orgasm for health issues - get him a magic wand... I'm sure anyone regardless of health can hold that in one place for five minutes.

      If you are really missing the human touch, then I can see why you'd be tempted. If my gf willingly offered me another woman to quench my thirsts I'd be quite glad. However, are you REALLY sure he'd be okay with that? Someone might say they woujld be (rationally) but then find themselves despising it (emotionally). Maybe he could question your feelings for him, in agreeing to it (especially if you answer is "Oh my god yes! that's amazing, ring some people now!").

      I'm guessing that he can't actually have penetrative sex with you?

      I'd say this has the potential to be great (some guys even fantasize about their woman with other men), and might love being a voyeur... It could also completely destroy the relationship.

      Comment

      • metboogie
        Senior Member
        • Dec 2007
        • 182

        Sorry, but I would NEVER offer my wife another man to please her - that's basically inviting another man to step into your shoes - it won't end there.

        You should seek medical help, whether a physician for his problem or counseling for your marriage issues.

        Comment

        • C
          Member
          • Aug 2007
          • 900

          Originally posted by harryone
          My husband can nolonger satisfy me sexually. I love him dearly but due to health issues he no longer can give me an orgasm. He has made an offer to me that he willget a man to replace him in the bedroom I wanted to say yes yesa yes but am scared to do so do u think I should accept his invertation?
          He has a tongue and he has fingers and you have an imagination. This is all that is necessary for an orgasm. He can lick you to the point of needing to be filled and then play with your g-spot and for that final plunge either use his tongue as far as he can go or finger or a dildo. Satisfaction is in your mind and not a body part....Thank God that he is not dead.....Then he could not satisfy you.......

          Comment

          • rcoreyus
            Veteran Member
            • Sep 2007
            • 4369

            Originally posted by CarolineWH
            He has a tongue and he has fingers and you have an imagination. This is all that is necessary for an orgasm. He can lick you to the point of needing to be filled and then play with your g-spot and for that final plunge either use his tongue as far as he can go or finger or a dildo. Satisfaction is in your mind and not a body part....Thank God that he is not dead.....Then he could not satisfy you.......

            Depends on his problem. It could be a heart condition where the excitement of sex is dangerous. Could be nearly total paralysis. Otherwise you are of course right - if it is simply his penis that isn't working, there are lots of other options.

            Comment

            • Guest

              Originally posted by harryone
              so do u think I should accept his invertation?
              no, definitely not.

              Comment

              • C
                Member
                • Aug 2007
                • 900

                Originally posted by rcoreyus
                Depends on his problem. It could be a heart condition where the excitement of sex is dangerous. Could be nearly total paralysis. Otherwise you are of course right - if it is simply his penis that isn't working, there are lots of other options.
                Here I will agree with you BUT many women as they age must also understand that their man is not young anymore. Where in year's prior he would have this magnificent staying power and be able to thrust deeply until you near begged for mercy from the thrill of the sexual joining, now it is you who must do the hot stimulation as you mate. It is up to you as the woman while he is inside you to talk to you and praise him and lust for him for he is the same man......Only growing older......

                I suppose in some ways I could say that my husband no longer satisfies me but this would only be when I am so hot that I could go like a energizer rabbit. But this is a part of life that we all must accept and I smile as I write this thinking back on years ago when he would tell me when he wanted sex and I may have been tired......"Honey, someday you will be sorry because I will not be able to get this great big hard on that I have now"......And I would laugh.......But I shouldn't have.....Instead I should have grabbed it and sucked it and inserted it just where it was supposed to go......Ah, life....

                I hope this woman finds peace.....I doubt it would be with another man.....That would be confusion......

                Comment

                • mcraqur
                  Junior Member
                  • Jan 2008
                  • 9

                  Why can't he?

                  So, we all really need to know why your husband can't please you to offer advise. Can he no longer touch you or are we simply talking about penetration?

                  Comment

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