[LittleGinger]

I've been thinking about fulfilling a long time fantasy and pursuing a one night stand. As this is my first time, I am looking for some advice:

1) How to you signal to a man that this is all you are interested in?
2) Is it safer to do it at his place or yours?
3) If his place, is it odd to drive myself there so I can easily get home? Or should I expect him to drive me home?
4) Should I stay all night, or just leave after the fun is over?
5) How do you handle to awkwardness the next morning?
6) Any regrets?

[pigwidgeon]

Hi LittleGinger,

Here are my thoughts on one-night stands (everyone feel free to disagree with me!):

1) How to you signal to a man that this is all you are interested in?

I would simply be up front about it. Boy meets girl in bar, girl wants to have one-night stand with boy, girl says, "Hey, you're cute, but I'm not looking for a relationship -- what do you think about one night of fun?"

2) Is it safer to do it at his place or yours?

There are pros and cons of each. For example, if you're at his place, you're in control of when you leave. But if you live alone and he has roommates, then you would probably have more uninhibited sex at your place.

3) If his place, is it odd to drive myself there so I can easily get home? Or should I expect him to drive me home?

This is *your* idea, so *you* are in charge. Don't depend on him for anything. Take your own car.

4) Should I stay all night, or just leave after the fun is over?

Stay all night if you're feeling it; don't stay all night if you're not. I don't think there's any hard-and-fast rule about this.

5) How do you handle to awkwardness the next morning?

If it were me, I would try to diffuse any awkwardness with humor and lightheartedness. And who knows -- maybe it won't be awkward.

6) Any regrets?

If you go into this knowing exactly what you want out of it, and you get exactly what you want out of it, then you shouldn't feel regrets. But that's not always something you can predict, so just try to minimize the chance of regrets as much as you can.

Please be safe and have fun!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I've been thinking about fulfilling a long time fantasy and pursuing a one night stand. As this is my first time, I am looking for some advice:

1) How to you signal to a man that this is all you are interested in?

Body language is an amazing thing. And, doubt you would not have some form of conversation. So as it's your fantasy, you can be as bold as you like and say what you want. I'm suggesting you don't do it with someone you know though, someone you have never met and won't again.

2) Is it safer to do it at his place or yours?

Personally, i wouldn't do it at my place, as then he knows where i live. And, as you don't know him, i wouldn't go there either, he may be a stalker !!! How about you invest in a Hotel room.


3) If his place, is it odd to drive myself there so I can easily get home?

If you did go to his place, be seductive and say " i'll follow you" smile at him, "walk me to my car". That way you won't feel odd and you can leave when ever you want.


Or should I expect him to drive me home?

You know nothing about him, again i wouldn't let him know where i live.

4) Should I stay all night, or just leave after the fun is over?

Depends if you want to add a bit of romance into the fantasy, ie) you also want to be held after.

5) How do you handle to awkwardness the next morning?

Be sexy, think sexy, confident.

6) Any regrets?

Sure, he turns out a dud...

Seriously, i would play this out with a new found boyfriend to be honest.
It would be so much more fun, to walk up to him at a bar, pretend you don't know him, take him to a hotel room, go crazy, imagine your relationship afterwards!!!

[GixxerChic]

I have ALWAYS wanted to do this with my fiance! It would just be fun! In college I actually went through this two year stage after a really long relationship and loosing my virginity where I had... a lot of one night stands (we'll just leave it at that). They're fun.

1) How to you signal to a man that this is all you are interested in?
While you converse with the guy, just be to the point and not overly informational. Keep it a mystery. If you ask what he does for a living don't give a follow up question. Extreme flirtation is an obvious must. And touching. Be physical with him immediately by softly grabbing his arm or his thigh.

2) Is it safer to do it at his place or yours?
This is kind of up to you. Like the previous reply said going to his place gives you the ability to leave whenever you want. However, being at your own place gives you the ability to plan the evening and be comfortable in your surroundings.

3) If his place, is it odd to drive myself there so I can easily get home? Or should I expect him to drive me home?
Drive yourself. Follow him. And give him a kiss wanting more when you two separate after leaving the bar.

4) Should I stay all night, or just leave after the fun is over?
Again, this is a personal preference. The fun actually just might last all night! Awkward mornings really aren't that bad. They're funny memories of a good time you had with someone you're likely to never see again, so whats the big deal.

5) How do you handle to awkwardness the next morning?
If there is awkwardness, just laugh it off. I've had to ask names before and its just kind of funny. If you think its awkward, he's just as uncomfortable. But you can be, again, in control because this is what YOU planned on!

6) Any regrets?
This is the mom coming out of me but be careful of your surroundings. It can be dangerous. I would make sure a girlfriend of yours or someone knows where you're going. Ya know, just in case!

Have fun with it! I'll keep trying to get the beau to play this game with me!

[SinisterUrge]

2) Is it safer to do it at his place or yours? A neutral third option is safest. Try a nice hotel with a hottub.

3) If his place, is it odd to drive myself there so I can easily get home? Or should I expect him to drive me home?Share a cab to the hotel. Nothing ruins the mood like a DWI, and who knows what kind of horrible condition his car might be in...or does he even have a car?? You might be attracted to the rugged guy on his motorcycle. who knows?

4) Should I stay all night, or just leave after the fun is over? If you leave right after (or kick him out) he probably won't be offended. Most guys like being treated like pieces of meat But if you do spend the whole night, you can always have more fun in the morning. The one-night stand isn't technically over until one of you leaves.... many a planned one-nighters have turned into all-weekenders.

6) Any regrets?Not taking naked pictures.... you know, for historical documentation and stuff.

[macybelle]

I think one night stands are scary. I'm not saying that I didn't have my fair share of them but if I could take each and everyone of them back I would do it in a New York minute! Just becareful and use protection. You may think you want it now but 15 or 20 years from now you might wish you hadn't.

[Richard S]

My advice is don't have sex with strangers.

One thing that happened to me when I was in my 20's, I met a girl who had a BF but we still spent the night together, and she made it clear that what we had was just that - a one time thing. But it was really nice and we were still friends afterwards.

So what I'm saying is that it's probably better to find a guy in your circle of friends who you are "just friends" with and try it with him. Just lay down the rules ahead of time. Most guys who go to clubs looking to pick someone up are jerks or worse. Better to find a guy who's basically a "nice guy" and give him something that he'll have fond memories about when he married with three kids and a mortgage.

[Hystorm]

I second that!

My advice is don't have sex with strangers.

One thing that happened to me when I was in my 20's, I met a girl who had a BF but we still spent the night together, and she made it clear that what we had was just that - a one time thing. But it was really nice and we were still friends afterwards.

So what I'm saying is that it's probably better to find a guy in your circle of friends who you are "just friends" with and try it with him. Just lay down the rules ahead of time. Most guys who go to clubs looking to pick someone up are jerks or worse. Better to find a guy who's basically a "nice guy" and give him something that he'll have fond memories about when he married with three kids and a mortgage.

[Mourningman]

Need a volunteer?

[Hystorm]

..

LoL, I was expecting someone to say that!