[Toodles]

I don't think that's a good idea; when she tell you to stop, STOP or else you'll have other problems to deal with.
Ask her if you can slow down instead; don't just do it.

Ok, so ask her first, better yet, before you 2 start to have sex tell her you want to keep going and you think slowing down might help so she is prepared. All I'm saying is sometimes I start to feel overwhelmed and slowing down helps.

[ItsASecret22]

Can we get an update?

Hi there I was searching around for the same problem you have and I mean I read your post and it was pretty creepy how identical the problem is that I have. I even got my girlfriend to read this and she was like yeah thats so similar.

I mean I'm actually younger than you I'm only 20, but every girl I've ever been with and even a lot of female friends I have got them to orgasm beautifully and they loved it; and like you I have got nothing but wonderful 'reviews' and so on.

Anyways, you could take your post and just switch the age in there and its pretty much the identical situation: we have an amazing relationship and we love each other very much and we have a pretty good sex life too but I can just not get her to orgasm. I mean I kiss her all over (for like 40 minutes sometimes) and get her nice and wet and then (haha am I supposed to get this detailed here?) like I nibble her clit a bit and suck and lick and so on you know that whole program. But she just can not seem to orgasm. She gets close but its just like she can't seem to break that barrier. I mean I even got her nice and turned on and stimulated her G-spot to see if she can orgasm vaginally but it's to no avail.

To be honest I really think the problem is mental. I even told her this and she doesn't disagree. I think she is just wanting it to happen so much that she is preventing it herself. And I mean I thought this before so I try to get her nice and relaxed and give her a full body massage and make sure shes really relaxed but still, she just can't orgasm.

She has never had an orgasm and I was her first so. (Shes 20 by the way)

If you have a solution or anything I would be so grateful for that because quite frankly I'm starting to feel like I'm a failure or something because I can't give her the enjoyment of a solid orgasm. I mean she says its amazing sex et cetera but yeah--no orgasm.

Thanks so much, sorry for making this long,

James

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Ugg, olf threads..

But anyway, my advice stands - get a powerful vibrator, which will make her orgasm, then you can work backwards from there. If she, too, won't go near a toy, then you have a bigger problem.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ugg, olf threads..

But anyway, my advice stands - get a powerful vibrator, which will make her orgasm, then you can work backwards from there. If she, too, won't go near a toy, then you have a bigger problem.

Ugg, olf threads..

Worse, one of my first posts? Ahhhh.... can i delete it? Not that it's been bought up...

Well, i am living proof that you don't need a vibrator, a plastic fantastic, to orgasm, just visualisation, and what ever you fancy, it may be something else, it will still be a toy however, so i agree there... A toy is a toy what ever your preference.

Nothing wrong with that.

CW

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Oops, I meant "old" threads obviously.

But yeah, sure, visualisation is important too, for both genders, I'm just thinking that half of the problem is in her head, because she's never come before. If you provide her with staggeringly powerful stimulation, chances are she will come, at which point she'll feel more normal, relax about it, etc, and in the future they will come more easily..

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I agree, it's a mental issue.

You have to overcome all is possible and she has to let herself go completely, trust and know it's okay, what ever happens happens.

Just because your other ladies have been "open" doesn't mean every women feels this way...

She has to visualise, trust, and be.

Trust is the biggest issue. You have been there done that, expect.

She needs to feel it's okay, almost sensual that she hasn't and it's her first experience, even if it's your 50th.

To let go for the first time in your life, totally and know that he is very experienced, requires visualisation, trust and no inhibitions, go, .......

You need her to let go of what you know, if she knows, and let her put her trust in you that it's okay to let go... as she is special and you know that, not she is another notch, which she may feel...

CW

[onehmonehmoo91]

this is totally me

this reminds me so much of me and my boyfriend. the way your girlfriend masturbates too, that rehatched the way i used to play with myself when i was younger. i used to rub my clit against semi rounded corners on furniture in my house. it felt good, so i kept doing it until i got all sweaty. my parents often wondered if it was something sexual, but i told them it just relieved my stress. ha, now i realize i was masturbating. but i'll never tell them that.

anyways.

my boyfriend has tried everything. i just cant seem to orgasm infront of him. i suggest she creates some really hot sexual fantasy in her head, like something she saw on porn once. thats y i watch porn occasionally, to trigger fantasies.

i can orgasm on my own though.

so thats what im suggesting.

im thinking she also is self concious and isnt comfortable within herself yet to have an orgasm.

[Reg.guy]

My wife doesn't have sex drive and she orgasms very rarely. I eat her out for so long, my neck hurts. She essentially has no response. I've told her that part of the enjoyment of sex is sharing the ultimate pleasure and being unihibited. She understands that, but it doesn't change her behavior. I've wondered how she would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. How would she feel if she sucked me off for a half hour and then had sex for another half hour and nothing happened; the act just ended because of physical fatigue?
Wouldn't she feel like she was not attractive and not a good lover? Well, that's how I feel and I don't understand why she can't put herself in my place. The other night we made love and it was the same old same old. I worked on her for a long time with zero results. Then she got on top and was riding me and for the first time, I just got soft and slipped out of her. She was incredulous. "What's wrong? What happened?" It is possible that this episode my at least give her a hint at how unfulfilling I find our sex life. It is a sad state of affairs.

[WildChild]

Get Drs Steve and Vera Bodansky's book on EMO, you're on the right track, they can give you all the details. She's very close, may have been there without knowing it. A lot of women if hooked up to whatever machines could tell, orgasm and don't know it. They are expecting Hollywood fireworks and sometimes it's just a glow.

[Dalyarogue]

Your girlfriend was me not even 2 years ago. That fleshy part above the pubic bone is called the Mons Pubis (who cares...). I used to push it against the bed before i got good at masturbation.

Here's what i did to help myself. Get a vibrator (wait, don't brush me off yet). There are some vibrators that come with clitoral ticklers. These are little jelly things that wrap around the vibrator and extend the vibration to the clitoris. She can use her thumb and push on the bone until she comes.

The intense feeling she gets is because your putting direct pressure on the clitoris with your tongue, maybe. Don't lift up the clitoral hood when you do it. Instead just suck on it. (You probably tried that already)

Yea, just keep at it. I was so bad, my boyfriend started calling me "invinsi-clit". Lol.