[jde]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, and I have never been able to have a 'full orgasm'. I realize that this is very common for most women, but I am extremely frustrated. My sex drive has been through the roof for the last 6 months, and I cannot figure out what the deal is. I constantly think about it- The big problem is that my boyfriend and I are not getting married for 9 more months, and he is very strong on 'waiting until marriage' for sex. He is extremely worried about 'getting pregnant and all the stress that is involved. So the last 5 years we have been having strictly oral sex, which is fine and great, but for some reason, I cannot relax, when I get close to the 'o' period. I am able to relax when he starts, and thoroughly enjoy it, but I get so extremely sensitive once I get close. I pretty much just push him off. I have tried masturbating myself to climax, and the same thing happens.

What do I do?? Do I need to fight this urge and try to relax or am I experiencing some type of anxiety?? Half of me thinks that once we start having intercourse that this will resolve, but maybe not?? I am frustrated, and of course my boyfriend is extremely frustrated. He feels awful that he can't please me, but it does feel great. I am thinking that I'm the problem.

Any help would be appreciated?! Thank-you so much!

jde

Any tips for me, or has anyone felt this same problem.

[miffed23]

Hey hun, i dont think youre experiencing an anxiety in any way - its more likely that your clitoris is becoming too sensitive as youre getting more and more excited. Which, unfortunately is frustrating for you! Try asking your partner to soften his tounge, or slow down a little? This may work, but then as you become close to orgasm..you might become too sensitive again

I am feeling your frustration. You said you feel things will change when your married and having intercourse...which they will as youll be receiving vaginal stimulation rather than clitoral...so maybe see if your partner can bring you to orgasm using his fingers inside you?

In the meantime, just try and relax...easier said than done, but the more tense you are the more sensitive youll become. Good luck!

[jde]

thanks for the reply. I will definately try the 'softening technique'. Hopefully we can resolve this somehow. Thank-you for understanding. I just feel like I'm going nutz. I just wish we could 'do it'. For some reason, I feel like if we were having sex, then at least I could say, well, we're trying everything we can. We'll see!

Thank- you very much. jde

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sometimes also the excitement of knowledge that it's not that far away can take you to a real feel of "frustration", if only it was today............ 5 Years is a long time, then the knowledge of marriage, only a few months away, well 9 isn't that long. I remember, thinking 4 months when my guy said that he would be here and to me that was like, tomorrow... Then i found as time went on, 4 months was a long time And there are things "extreme" things i just cant do without him, yet as soon as i speak to him, it all changes. So it could also be frustration of the desire and want of that time that you know it will happen. Just my thoughts... CW

[macybelle]

Sometimes the feeling that get when you are getting close to having an orgasm can become so intense that it can hurt or just be come to intense to handle. Sometimes I will just let go and keep on no matter how intense it gets. Other times I just can't do it. Like I said it's almost painful. Is this kind of what you are feeling? I think it's wonderful that you both are waiting until you get married before you have sex. You will not regret it and I admire that a lot! I hope someone here can help you.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I dont know, can you have a full orgasm in it's totality without having had sex?

How will you know until that day comes?

Personally with knowledge of what i am going to expect, look forward to i have gone to areas that i never knew and i've been engaged and married.

Fear held me back i must be honest for a "long time" i did not think that it existed, i read a lot here for instance that i went yep, i hope, one day but it happened.

I think the main key is to "visualise" which i think you are doing and know that when that time comes, and "more" that is when your love will explode for each other...

JUST both keep learning and understanding and upon marriage DO....

It will all fit into place....

CW