[Mae]

Hi. I'm 20 and a virgin. Recently my boyfriend & I have started doing "heavy petting", including him fingering me. I found this very pleasurable, but one time, I started bleeding afterwards. I just assumed that this was my hymen breaking, & that it was nothing to worry about. We cooled off on the touching side of things for a while, but then the next time that he fingered me, I bled again, & there was a fairly decent amount of blood.
However, I didn't experience any pain at all. (during or afterwards)

Is this normal?? -maybe the hymen wasn't properly broken the first time??
Am I going to bleed EVERY time he fingers me? ....& what happens if/when we decide to have sex? ...am I going to bleed all the time then, too??



I read a post on here about vaginal scarring, & that cuts are quite common & can get ripped open again & again, causing bleeding...maybe this could be what it is??
I also read a post that using "too many fingers" can also hurt (but I didn't experience any pain), -maybe this could also be an explanation??

I'm very confused & quite embarrassed & would very much appreciate any help you could give me.

Mae.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi. I'm 20 and a virgin. Recently my boyfriend & I have started doing "heavy petting", including him fingering me. I found this very pleasurable, but one time, I started bleeding afterwards. I just assumed that this was my hymen breaking, & that it was nothing to worry about. We cooled off on the touching side of things for a while, but then the next time that he fingered me, I bled again, & there was a fairly decent amount of blood.
However, I didn't experience any pain at all. (during or afterwards)

Is this normal?? -maybe the hymen wasn't properly broken the first time??
Am I going to bleed EVERY time he fingers me? ....& what happens if/when we decide to have sex? ...am I going to bleed all the time then, too??


Okay, firstly, i feel for you, don't stress.

Second, it could be that he is being "hard" at the act, pushing deep, fast and he could be cutting you...

This is all a gentle thing, should be totally enjoyable taking you to heights


I read a post on here about vaginal scarring, & that cuts are quite common & can get ripped open again & again, causing bleeding...maybe this could be what it is??
I also read a post that using "too many fingers" can also hurt (but I didn't experience any pain), -maybe this could also be an explanation??

I'm very confused & quite embarrassed & would very much appreciate any help you could give me.

Mae.

Okay, firstly, i feel for you, don't stress.

Second, it could be that he is being "hard" at the act, pushing deep, fast and he could be cutting you...

This is all a gentle thing, should be totally enjoyable taking you to heights.

Mae, you say that he was into "very heavy petting" so he may be doing it all wrong, being totally aroused and not understanding that you have to be gentle yet, on-going over a longer period of time to make it get you where he wants you to go, he may in other words be in-experienced.

Ask him to do it slowly, and deep, see what happens.

It is likely that he is pushing with "gusto" and well you won't feel that at the time if you feel great about it.

Try that first.

CW

[Hystorm]

Make sure he freaking trims his nails, etc!
He is prob. cutting you with his finger nail.
As CHAN. said, tell him to go easy...slow, soft.
I can attest that if he is anything like I was at that stage, he is prob. near hyperventilating secretly from the sheer excitement of finally getting into your pants and is not paying attention to what needs attention.

Take Care.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Make sure he freaking trims his nails, etc!

He is prob. cutting you with his finger nail.
As CHAN. said, tell him to go easy...slow, soft.
I can attest that if he is anything like I was at that stage, he is prob. near hyperventilating secretly from the sheer excitement of finally getting into your pants and is not paying attention to what needs attention.

Take Care.

Each time you say "freaking" i crack up laughing!!!

But i thought of that after i hit send, you are so right Hystorm, fast with nails ouch......



CW

[Mae]

Thanks for all that advice.
I'm just as inexperienced as he is in all this. He's the first guy I've been "intimate" with, & likewise I'm the first girl for him.

The weird thing is that for ages there was no problem,...& then all of a sudden, after a couple of months of doing this, ..I start bleeding afterwards.

The fingernails thing is a good point though...I'll take that in mind.

& another weird thing is that it wasn't painful...it was totally enjoyable the whole time. ...I would have thought that if he was going too hard/rough that it would have hurt during as well.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Thanks for all that advice.
I'm just as inexperienced as he is in all this. He's the first guy I've been "intimate" with, & likewise I'm the first girl for him.

The weird thing is that for ages there was no problem,...& then all of a sudden, after a couple of months of doing this, ..I start bleeding afterwards.

The fingernails thing is a good point though...I'll take that in mind.

& another weird thing is that it wasn't painful...it was totally enjoyable the whole time. ...I would have thought that if he was going too hard/rough that it would have hurt during as well.

I know that there have been times where i have "spotted" but not bled, just before "that time of the month", which annoys me, during intercourse which i know is not what you are doing, but the deepness factor set things of a bit.

Check the fingernails side of it, if not you need to ask an expert, ie) Doctor but i wouldn't worry about it women's bodies are complicated things and it may be something very simple but do go and book an appointment to get professional advice, it's the only way really to know.

Best wishes..

CW

[Mae]

It can't be spotting before my period, as I'm on the pill (not for contraceptive reasons, as I'm not having sex, but cos my periods are really painful, & the pill is supposed to help) and so I can control when I have my periods. I've also been taking it for a while, so my body is used to the tablets, so it's not a case of my body still adjusting to the tablets & therefore spotting now & then.

Hmmm,...yeh, I guess I should really go to a doctor, but I'm kinda embarrassed, in case they perform an internal examination, as I don't want someone else other than my partner poking around down there :S
My boyfriend sweetly offered to come with me to the doc, to make me feel more at ease, so that I don't have to go through it on my own, ...but the idea of an internal examination still freaks me out a bit. ..Plus the whole situation is embarrassing to talk about...hence I chose an internet forum to voice my problem, where I can remain anonymous! lol.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It can't be spotting before my period, as I'm on the pill (not for contraceptive reasons, as I'm not having sex, but cos my periods are really painful, & the pill is supposed to help) and so I can control when I have my periods. I've also been taking it for a while, so my body is used to the tablets, so it's not a case of my body still adjusting to the tablets & therefore spotting now & then.

Nothing wrong with that, that was the reason why i went on the pill and i was a Virgin... But you can still spot from deep penetration before the pill, but it's a mixture in colour, it's usually a darker colour not bright red, does that make sense?

Hmmm,...yeh, I guess I should really go to a doctor, but I'm kinda embarrassed, in case they perform an internal examination, as I don't want someone else other than my partner poking around down there :S
My boyfriend sweetly offered to come with me to the doc, to make me feel more at ease, so that I don't have to go through it on my own, ...but the idea of an internal examination still freaks me out a bit. ..Plus the whole situation is embarrassing to talk about...hence I chose an internet forum to voice my problem, where I can remain anonymous! lol.

Hmmmm, chicken, wait until you have to have pap smears on - going in your life! lol. Find a woman Doctor, it's still embarrasing trust me either way, i still tense up, What the!! That's nice, if he sits in the waiting room, lol... As i said, you can start a new thread and trust me every woman would say regardless of age, it still freaks us out....

Don't be embarrased, we are women, it's natural and it's not an embarrasing moment, STD would be embarrasing if you get my meaning... Don't stress we all go through this side of being a woman!

So wear a wig .....lol..
GO!!!

CW

[/quote]

[Hystorm]

Is it not a law or something like that, that a woman must get an exam before a marriage license is given?

That is what I was told and what we had to do when we got married.
We could not get a license without the exam certificate.

[Fallen1]

Is it not a law or something like that, that a woman must get an exam before a marriage license is given?

That is what I was told and what we had to do when we got married.
We could not get a license without the exam certificate.

It may be different depending on where you get married but I know when I married my ex 22 years ago all we had to do was get a blood test. My son and daughter in law said they didn't even have to get a blood test when they got married two years ago.