[NinthCaller]

Hello everyone. My first post here and I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts.

My wife and I have been married for 22 years. I'm 56 and she is 58. The last eight years have been without sex. I'm sure there are psychological reasons for the two of us to lose interest, but I know we still love each other very much. We really are each other's best friend.

Like many couples with some extra weight we both snore when sleeping. So, in order to get some sleep, we sleep in different rooms.

First up, confession time (and I'm embarrassed to do so)... once every few weeks, after going to bed, I masterbate. I usually do this while watching one of those short porn videos you can find on the Internet. As far as I know my wife may not be aware. Of course, she's no dummy either.

Now, I'm somewhat of a geek and I like to make sure her smartphone is updated with the latest version of apps. To do so, I borrow her phone (with her knowledge and permission) and check to make sure everything is running correctly.

A few days ago I was checking out her phone and discovered a couple of downloaded porn videos. I only glanced at one of a woman giving a man oral sex. I never mentioned to her what I found. I figure that's her private business.

In an odd kind of way I was content in knowing she likes to watch some porn and probably touch herself and masterbate much like me.

We've never watched porn together. In fact we haven't talked about it.

My questions are, do many women like to catch a few minutes of erotica to help visually stimulate themselves? Is this something you share with your partner? Am I being selfish and narcissistic by privately masterbating? And finally, should I mention what I found?

I want to thank you in advance for your honest opinion. Whether it's praise, opinion or disgust I'm open to read your thoughts.

Joseph

[Texasred45]

My gf is about your age, and she watches porn regularly - or so she tells me! And we sometimes watch it together, although we never seem to still be watching by the time it's over...
I'd say the fact your wife watches porn is a good thing, it's a sign she still has an interest in sex. Why don't you suggest sometime that you watch it together - without letting on that you found it on her phone!
And I know this isn't what you were asking about, but do you think it might improve your love life as well as your general health if you found a way to lose a few pounds? It ain't easy, I know, but it can be done, and you'll be surprised how different you feel - especially first thing in the morning! ;-)

[tinyclitt]

Maybe she wanted you to find it. As in a subtle, "hint, hint!"

[Texasred45]

Maybe she wanted you to find it. As in a subtle, "hint, hint!"

That's a distinct possibility - not one I'd have thought of, I'm not subtle! - but maybe she's telling you something?

[NinthCaller]

Thanks. You've given me something to consider. I appreciate it.

[Motorguy]

Well Joesph, my self and my opinion watching porn is not a bad thing. But to sneak around and watch it behind your wife back in your case your wife doing it as well. My self just be open with the wife maybe she do the same with you. This could spice up your sex life with wife had do some of the stuff you both watch together. So then link your lap top and stream some porn videos onto your big screen tv and ask your wife what turns her on and watch it with her you won't believe how much this will turn you both on in the process. I see so many couples who do not commutate very well when it comes to what they like sexually. Thinking there mate will deam them as a freak so it's just the vanilla sex or none at all. Then you down to masturbating alone that's not fun or fair for you or the wife as you can easily do it together it's so much better that way. So good luck I hope you can work it all out and enjoy some wink wink time with wife soon cheers to you.

[NinthCaller]

Thanks Motorguy

[Motorguy]

Your very welcome. Just enjoy the fun time with the wife.I feel she has been waiting for you to make that move as she may have been to embarrassed to make that first move her self. So good luck this is the time of the year to jump start that fun between the sheets for you both cheers.

[NinthCaller]

I once had a Psychologist say I need to be more assertive. I guess this is my true introvert nature shining through.

[Motorguy]

Yep this is the time to show your wife that you mean business about making the sex life better. Not for you but for you both as you both are in a rut and you need to work your way out of it on both your parts. So good luck you can do it.