[JonDoe]

You can fix this very easy MamaaCorydoras just tell him if he doesn't go down on you then you don't go down on him. This is very simple your boy friend is just being lazy

Unfortunately, not everything is so simple in life. I say this from experience of living with a narcissist for half of my life.

I can only speak for women (since I am one), but it seems that us women have the hardest time letting go of what we THOUGHT we had and accepting what we truly HAVE.

Same goes for some guys, or at least it did with me. Until suddenly I looked at her one day and thought to myself "She says she loves me, but I haven't felt loved in a really long time and I don't see her trying to do anything about it despite sharing my feelings with her countless times over the years." The outcome became crystal clear to me at that very instant.

[JonDoe]

Before my marriage, sex was fantastic. Almost immediately after, it changed for the worse.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... It's called wedding cake!

[JonDoe]

Thanks for your input JonDoe. Id never heard of that saying before: 'Hope is not a strategy' and I completely agree. I shouldn't have to hope that he'll do something that simply makes me happy.

You're welcome!

Now that you mention it, yesterday he had an assignment to do, and we made a deal that if I helped him with it that he would go down on me and than I flat out asked him afterwards and he said 'No way, did you think that was for real? We shouldn't have to make deals like that, that's not how it works'. And then flat out refused to have sex because he was 'Too tired'. I don't understand what his logic is.

His logic is simply selfishness. He lied and manipulated you to get what he wanted with no intention of giving you anything in return. In fact, he openly admitted it to you afterwards.

My ex-wife was the queen of manipulation. I could share hundreds of related personal stories, but I won't bore everyone with the details. However, the "fascinating" part, at least to me, is that my ex-wife never considered it lying to tell me she was going to do something when she knew that she had absolutely no intention of doing so. She would either say "I never said that!" or "You should have known I didn't really mean it!" As if withholding sex, lying and manipulation wasn't bad enough, she always found a way to try to make everything my fault, but usually couldn't back it up with concrete examples of what I had done wrong at which point sarcasm became her weapon of choice.

[Motorguy]

Oh wow this is the guy version on this topic. I had a couple guy friends who went through this same type problem you did Jon Doe. To this day they can't figure out why they ever married these women. Now they are very selective of who they date now days. Because they do not want to get back in the same type marriage again.

[MamaaCorydoras]

JonDoe, Talking about you ex-wife and describing her attitudes and personality pretty much reflects how he is 100%.
He always manages to find a way to blame me for everything, and refuses to put in any effort.

As an update, I have discovered why my boyfriend has been acting so weird, and Ive decided not to open up another thread but rather add onto this one.
Before I go on, I should give you a back story.

Since our relationship started 6 years ago, there have been trust issues from my side. There has always been another girl interested in him and he never knows when to put his foot down because he enjoys the ego boost so much. Over the last few months he has told me that there is a female at his work that has shown interest in him. When I got upset at this, he got angry at me and said 'I would have thought that after so long you would trust me enough to have a conversation with me about it. You should find it pathetic and laugh it off.'

I have constantly expressed my concern over this, as he has told me that he hasn't mentioned me at all or that he is even in a relationship.
Last night he told me that he has been wondering if our relationship is worth it, basically because we've been together from such a young age (since I was 15 and he was 16), that he doesn't want to have any regrets about not having experimented with other women, and that he sometimes resents me for it. He has told me that he is interested in this other girl and the reason that he is so distant is that he feels guilty about it.

I was so upset and angry, I have told him that I consider this emotional cheating, and that he needs to make a decision. He either has to change or Im packing my things. He said he wouldn't let me leave because he loves me, but he says he shouldn't feel bad for wanting to have sex with other women.

I have basically told him that he cant have both. He has to make a choice. I told him maybe I should leave for a while and give us both some space and he said 'I don't want to have to learn the hard way, but at the same time Im not going to change because I cant help that I feel this way about someone else.'

What the hell am I meant to do...?!