[faeluna]

It seems like no matter what I do, I get all torn up during sex.
Lube alleviates most of it, but I still get minor cuts at the top and bottom of my vagina. Different positions don't seem to change anything.

My boyfriend and I like to try different things, and recently we've been playing with pu**y pumps and c*ck rings. I've never had worse tearing than sex after using a pu**y pump or using a c*ck ring. The tears last days, they itch like crazy, and never seem to heal up right.

We like to have sex several times a week and we enjoy our toys. But I'm getting really sick of tearing all the time. What can be done about this? My boyfriend isn't particular large; I'd say average. But I do have a smaller vulva overall than most women (so I've been told).

[jns]

Do you or your bf groom your pubic hair? At certain lengths, pubic hair can be more irritating, the same as a guy's beard stubble. Further, shaving can irritate the skin surface. Another thing to consider is that maybe you and your bf have incompatible skin surface bacteria which could have you reacting badly to minor cuts that would otherwise heal very quickly. I would think the toys you listed would make any tearing worse.

[faeluna]

We keep our hair trimmed. The toys do make it worse, but it occurs regardless.

Just yesterday, we had sex. We used a lot of lube. Afterwards I went to clean up and found four sizable cuts where I normally get them. It still stings to wipe after I use the bathroom. So frustrating! What are we doing wrong?

[a_dub]

Sounds like the toys if the cuts are towards the outside of the vulva only. Unless the toys go inside. Is your bf really drilling you hard? Might wanna slow down and have more gentle sessions.

[faeluna]

We do tend to have rougher sex, but gentle also. He usually needs to go harder to finish, so it's almost always pretty rough at the end. You think that's it?

[jns]

He usually needs to go harder to finish, so it's almost always pretty rough at the end. You think that's it?

This could be the reason. A way to find out is to quit intercourse just as he starts to get rough. Maybe offer to give him oral to orgasm instead. If he is interested in finding out the cause of your tears, he should be willing to do this for you. He probably can retrain himself so he doesn't need the rough sex to orgasm.

[Motorguy]

Well Faeluna I agree with JNS & A-Dud that your boy friend is getting a little rough with the sex. Maybe have him slow down a little more or go see your obgyn doctor. To let him know what is happening with the cuts and tearing of your inner labia lips. But having this issue could lead to other issue with infection as well. So getting it check out would be a good thing to do before engaging in anymore sex.

[atskitty2]

Your skin is probably not getting adequate time to fully heal. If you're having sex a few times a week, then I'm thinking there's only a day or 2 between sex. The wounds are not likely healed so you're just reopening the wounds.
Take a break and see how that helps.

Also, seeing a doc would be good. You should rule out any low grade infections that could be causing the area to be more susceptible to this injury.

Good luck.

[faeluna]

Okay, so I let myself heal for about three weeks. Then we took it slow and used extra lube.

Well, not two minutes after penetration, I had two huge tears, one on the bottom (that area by the butt) and one on the top (the underside area below the clit). The latter was especially painful when it happened! We couldn't continue the cuts were so painful.

What's going on? I healed for three weeks, we had about a half hour of foreplay, used tons of lube, and took it nice and easy. None of it helped!
I asked my doctor and her only suggestion was to "use more lube." I'm pretty sure we'd be using the whole bottle at that point...

[atskitty2]

I'd be inclined to see another doc then. If it's tearing that easily, there must be a reason the skin is more friable in that area. You need a doc with more knowledge and determination to find the answer.