[DreamP346]

Yes, I said it, I hope my daughter grows up to have great sex. Sex is one of the most pleasurable aspects of life, however our society wants to prevent girls/women from having sex for as long a possible, especially if you are referring to your own daughters. At the same time, boys get kuddos for their "conquests". For every father out there that made reference to "cleaning your gun when the daughter's date comes over", here's a reality check. Your daughter may be the one who is the aggressor. She may want the advances the boy makes. And if she doesn't, I hope you have taught her how to clearly communicate about sexual matters to her partner. I hope she feels empowered to set boundaries. I hope she has gotten scientifically accurate sex education so she can safely engage in sex, if she chooses. Because threatening a boy won't stop a girl from having sex if that is what she wants.

AND, it may not be boys who are making advances on her.

[Stillness]

I probably would have been in my 20's, if not married, before I had sex if it wasn't for the sex-crazed girl I fell in love with pressuring me. I thought that's just how girls were until I grew up a bit and heard and experienced more. So, yes, there are a lot of fallacious cultural views towards sex and gender.

And I agree. I hate the father-with-a-shotgun idea. It's actually counter-productive because it doesn't teach girls how to think for themselves. I don't have girls (I didn't know you did either, sp. for some reason I thought you had boys) but if I did, I'd have the same rules and desire for them to enjoy marriage if that's what they chose.

[time2discover]

I agree that sex is a big part of a relationship and girls shouldn't be afraid of it. With the right person and good communication, it's an
essential part of a couples happiness. So teach them rather than scare them. They will live a fuller and happier life because of it!

[bel08]

I want to teach my girls to be confident and to be comfortable with thier bodies. I copped a lot of **** when i was younger because i was proactive in my pursuit of sex, but i will openly admit that i like to have sex. As long as its safe and consensual i too hope my daughters have great sex when thier older lol.

[Stillness]

Is "safe and consensual" all that's required to have great sex? I've got some serious regret with "safe and consensual" sex, so I don't think it is.

I think the stigma against promiscuity is good.

[DreamP346]

Is "safe and consensual" all that's required to have great sex? I've got some serious regret with "safe and consensual" sex, so I don't think it is.

I think the stigma against promiscuity is good.

Safe and consensual is a minimum requirement. But true, it does not garunte it will be great sex.

Stigma against a behavior that you have a moral objection again is your opinion, but not a fact. Promiscuity is ground in evolution. It is our natural instinct to be promiscuous. Promiscuity is not what causes harm. Unsafe behaviors is what causes harm.

[Stillness]

Promiscuity is ground in evolution. It is our natural instinct to be promiscuous.

Sounds like some especially soft science. I'd be interested to know the basis for it.

I think marriage is pretty much ubiquitous in human society. Sex outside of it is more or less tolerated, depending on where you are, but there is typically some stigma attached to promiscuity. That doesn't seem to speak to being compatible with our nature. And aside from disease and unwanted pregnancy (which I assume is what you're referring to by unsafe behavior) there are mental and familial considerations.

[DreamP346]

Sounds like some especially soft science. I'd be interested to know the basis for it.

I think marriage is pretty much ubiquitous in human society. Sex outside of it is more or less tolerated, depending on where you are, but there is typically some stigma attached to promiscuity. That doesn't seem to speak to being compatible with our nature. And aside from disease and unwanted pregnancy (which I assume is what you're referring to by unsafe behavior) there are mental and familial considerations.

There are actually numerous theories presented by experts on humans not being a monogomous species. The most strong one for me is the role of the sperm. Most don't realize that not all sperm swim to the egg. There are 3 types of sperm. The one that swims to the egg, the one that forms a mesh to prevent other sperms and a fighter sperm that actually kills other sperm. Evolution would not allow such a development if it wasn't a common occurance that actually encouraged survival. That is not soft science.

But also look at statistics. Something close to 50% of people cheat at some point. Just because it may be frowned upon, doesn't mean it's not in our natural instinct.

Also marriage is a social construct. Not a natural one. In the course of human existence, marriage has not always been there nor has it been in the current form it stands. However, sex and promiscuity has always existed. And actually, historically, polygamy was very prevelent. A man sleeping with many wives, courtisans and concubines was not just tolerated, it was expected and encouraged. In most societies, it was just female promiscuity that was stigmatized. Not men's.

And unsafe behavior is not limited to pregnancy and disease. That is a very narrow view on having good and safe sex. Sex and all behaviors should not be judged based on physical issues alone. As humans, emotions always play a role. That is why communication is the key to good sex.

[atskitty2]

I don't have a birth daughter but I have several girls I've "mentored" over the years. I don't typically discuss their sex lives as they move into adulthood but yes, I certainly hope they enjoy a great sex life, whether saved for marriage or not. <br />
<br />
I hope they approach their sexual health and satisfaction with the same attitude I see them going after their education and career, or any other part of their life- assertive and knowledgeable, & determined to reach their goals and be satisfied in life. So many women lose their ability to clearly communicate and go after their own sexual needs, while in other areas they excel and find success. I hope they are confident in their own desires and willing to communicate that with a caring partner.<br />
<br />
Some of them are saving sex for marriage, but i do hope within their marriage they have a fulfilling sex life.

[jns]

Promiscuity among humans is an interesting subject that people seem to pick and choose what behaviors they promote due to their own internal code or morals.

In biological sciences, relative testicle size seems to be related to promiscuity in other species. Human males do not have the largest relative testicle size nor the smallest, so that implies that human males are not the most promiscuous among species nor the least. That is biology. Female promiscuity is not addressed in such a way.

Human social constructs are another thing altogether. A man having access to many females and a female having access to many males are often restricted in societies. The restrictions can be legal or moral based. Prior to such constructs such as civilizations or tribes, the relationships were determined mostly by strength. Such a situation made males the most likely to be in charge, however some situations evolved from a woman either consenting to sex or not, in which there appeared some woman dominated relationships. These individual relationships led to tribal societies creating guidelines of what the controllers would support and what they would not support as well as what they would prosecute. Civilizations and religions followed and codified these ideas.

Civilizations often placed a premium on bloodlines. They also wanted the children to be supported by their fathers. This led to restrictions on promiscuity outside of marriage. In addition, it seems to be a common understanding (misunderstanding?) that general promiscuity will lead to STD ubiquity (and problems related to STDs) and general discontent as not all members of such a society will benefit equally.