[Hystorm]

There are PLENTY of guys looking for a women who will stand up for her self and not be a push-over. The kind of women you are becoming are designed for High-end guys. Guys that change the world, become president, etc not some looser who becomes a deadender jobber, etc.

You have great things coming your way, pick your men very carefully!
You are bound to find that diamond in the rough that will take you to the top with him and not him to the top while riding you!!

Stay strong!

[RachelLou]

I'm 19, nearly 20 and only recently have I started feeling ready to have sex with a guy I'm seeing at the moment. We havent done anything sexual yet, but I think we will do soon. I put myself on the pill knowing it would happen soon, but as soon as my problems finish (ongoing period) from this pill then I think I'll be having sex pretty soon. I've told him my situation and he said theres no pressure at all which is what I have been waiting for a guy to say!!

All my friends have and I always have felt abnormal cos I havent but the idea of me doing it with this guy makes me feel like its been worth the wait. I am a little scared though about sex. But I guess thats normal?

[Uneeklyme]

If there are any doubts or questions... your probably not ready.

I am a huge advocat for sex ed. Read tons of literature. Prepare. Get some kind of birth control. Carry condoms with you even if your on another form of birth control. The pill does not stop STIs. Don't rely on him to have condoms. Take your personal health matters into your own hands. Do all of this even if you decide not to have sex right now.

Having sex is a big decision. Losing your virginity is something that only happens once. Kinda like you only get married for the first time once, you only have your first baby once. Yeah, many people dont think of it like this but at the end of the day, its that big a deal.

Having sex is a mature decision. Talking to your mom is also a mature thing to do. I understand it can be uncomfortable. At the very least, find some adult who you can trust and talk with them. Family planning and places like these are great resources.

Im sorry, I dont mean to sound preachy. I had my first child at 16 so it kinda comes from experience as much as medical background and personal beliefs.

Please be sure that you are ready and please be prepared.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'm 19, nearly 20 and only recently have I started feeling ready to have sex with a guy I'm seeing at the moment. We havent done anything sexual yet, but I think we will do soon. I put myself on the pill knowing it would happen soon, but as soon as my problems finish (ongoing period) from this pill then I think I'll be having sex pretty soon. I've told him my situation and he said theres no pressure at all which is what I have been waiting for a guy to say!!

All my friends have and I always have felt abnormal cos I havent but the idea of me doing it with this guy makes me feel like its been worth the wait. I am a little scared though about sex. But I guess thats normal?

Hi RachelLou,

It sounds to me that you are ready because, your friends have and you feel abnormal. To be honest, that's why i did it in the end, just a bit shorter of your age and i should have known better. I felt proud for so long, then one day, ******... I am pleased that it was with my first love and that was on and of for years but, always wished i'd chosen to do it because of more than just "pressure"...

If you are "scared" yes that's normal and you "haven't done anything sexual yet?". I am assuming you are referring to all parts of sex, not just intercourse, then why not take it slow and learn to get to know each other's bodies first for a while, what you both like and don't like so your are totally relaxed, wanting and with love when you do take that step.

Assuming you are "in love", as if it's a new relationship and your feelings aren't really strong and visa versa, then maybe the timing still isn't right either.

It should be magical and warm and fuzzy and with absolutely no regret and continue for a long time, hopefully to marriage as you love each other so much before you even go there, if that is your dream.

Or, obviously, if you are just ready and want to experience it and are happy to do so with this man, then that's okay as well, as long as you know that is what you are doing and why.

But, i would irrespective still get to do all the oral sides and loads of kissing, for a while first so it's a progression from there, instead of the other way around...

And of course, agree totally regarding condoms...

CW

[daniee.l]

i definatley think u should wait till ur ready. i made the mistake of havin sex bcoz every1 else was and i was drunk!! i cant realy even remember it properly and i was so young wen i think bout it now i was 12 discustin i no!!. i so wish i had waited til i was at least in a relationship wiv some 1 not jus sum random guy. i honestly regret all of my sexual partners apart from my bf at the moment its taken him to show that sex can be great!! so if ur ready do it but if ur not 100% then wait dont make my mistake.

[RachelLou]

Hi RachelLou,

It sounds to me that you are ready because, your friends have and you feel abnormal. To be honest, that's why i did it in the end, just a bit shorter of your age and i should have known better. I felt proud for so long, then one day, ******... I am pleased that it was with my first love and that was on and of for years but, always wished i'd chosen to do it because of more than just "pressure"...

If you are "scared" yes that's normal and you "haven't done anything sexual yet?". I am assuming you are referring to all parts of sex, not just intercourse, then why not take it slow and learn to get to know each other's bodies first for a while, what you both like and don't like so your are totally relaxed, wanting and with love when you do take that step.

Assuming you are "in love", as if it's a new relationship and your feelings aren't really strong and visa versa, then maybe the timing still isn't right either.

It should be magical and warm and fuzzy and with absolutely no regret and continue for a long time, hopefully to marriage as you love each other so much before you even go there, if that is your dream.

Or, obviously, if you are just ready and want to experience it and are happy to do so with this man, then that's okay as well, as long as you know that is what you are doing and why.

But, i would irrespective still get to do all the oral sides and loads of kissing, for a while first so it's a progression from there, instead of the other way around...

And of course, agree totally regarding condoms...

CW

I wont lie, it doesnt feel good when everybody else around you has had sex but to be honest..I've got used to that now and telling my boyfriend I'm a virgin was a huge weight off my shoulders so atleast he knows now.

I do believe that I am pretty much ready to have sex, but I am really scared and I keep imagining what it will be like...and some things in my head are so embarrassing! I dont know what to expect really.

I also have the problem of my boyfriend leaving for 2 months in June, so if we do sleep together before he goes which we probably will do...I'm worried it wouldnt do us good, being away from eachother after being so intimate?

Thanks for your words. I appreciate them. & as for condoms, I have plenty of them in my draw anyway just incase...and I'm on the pill, but at the moment its messing my body up...just waiting for it to adjust.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

To quote chef from southpark...

"What age should I have sex?"
"16"
"What if I don't think I'm ready...."
"16"
"What if...."
"ah - 16."

Not that that's true, just funny. But really, some 14 year old are having sex and loving it, so whenever you want to just do it...

[Guest]

just remember - some 14 year olds are shooting heroin & loving it too. so try to apply something other than your pleasure-meter to making your decision.

it's not always OK just because it feels good.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

If you can be sensible, have safe sex and stuff, then have sex at 14... If you can't be safe - don't do it......... ever.

I'd say heroine isn't a comparable situation, but drinking alcohol might be - you're legally supposed to be 18-21 to do that, and I was doing it when I was 13. As long as you're safe and ready, I can't see a problem with it.

[Guest]

we were all doing things we shouldn't when we were 13.

but should we encourage 13 year olds to do those things?

what's your definition of "safe & ready?"

would you agree that young teenagers are sometimes naive about what they feel safe & ready to do, usually just because of a lack of experience & thus knowledge about what it is they're considering doing?