[Ashlee T.]

I have noticed a common trend in television series, comedic performances, etc where men are involved. There is always candid discussion or explanation of how men struggle with temptation and especially how married men constantly struggle with the wandering eye. It's as if being faithful is painful.

Maybe that part is real, but no one EVER mentions that women go through the same things. It's not just men who are animalistic creatures with temptations and fantasies and desires. WE are too but we have not been taught that it is "natural" and "normal" to want to be unfaithful, to want the grass on the other side of the fence, and so we are generally silent about it. It's not just like we are these complacent sexless creatures who fall in love with a man and never ever look at or feel attraction towards another. We just CHOOSE not to rub it in the face of our love, we choose not to act on it. Don't get me wrong, not all men cheat and not all women cheat.....I'm speaking more of the public condoning and affirming of the desire to cheat. It seems that too often men can say "Well, it's normal for men to be like that." Newsflash........it's normal for women too.....but we are ALL responsible for making better choices than that. Don't act like you're doing your spouse a favor, overcoming the odds, by being truthful and faithful.

A little rant this morning. I watched a comedic performance last night that brought this up in my head.

[Stillness]

Both?

I think men might be more prone to wanting more than one woman - maybe because of the average man's sex drive being higher than the average woman? Maybe it's cultural roles? Maybe natural ones? I don't know. Women cheat plenty, but I don't know that it's as often or for the same reasons.

I think it's possible for men and women to not be tempted - at least for some of us, with the right circumstances.

[Motorguy]

Well I must admit I do look as I'm not dead. My wife checks out other guys or will see attracted women and she will say sweetie check this sexy lady out. Of course I'm going to look and agree. That's just the nature of men and women who are comfortable in there relationship with each other. We don't have to worry about each other wanting to be with someone else.

[Ashlee T.]

Maybe it's just a southern thing but it just seems like there is this notion that men have it so rough being with one woman, and that it's SO hard for them not to cheat, etc. But women have desires and fantasies too it's just considered somewhat taboo for us to talk about them or to even insinuate we'd consider any man other than our husband.

[Motorguy]

Well that could be right BD it could be a southern thing. But I do look but never thought of strolling to another women that's just not my style. But again they say 50 pct of marriage in divorce. Mostly over men hooking up with another women or a few women joining the bed of another man. Some people do deem cheating as taboo. I'm thinking life is hard enough then try and juggle two women at the same time and all the lying that go's along with it as well.

[atskitty2]

I think women just, generally, control those impulses and have a better sense of consequences, when it comes to that. I think we tend to weigh the negative that could be associated with taking action.<br />
I think many men do, so I'm speaking totally in generality here.<br />
<br />
I will say, when my husband and I were happy together and all systems were firing, I was completely content. I never noticed men or thought of others. Even when things first started falling apart, I didn't. It was awhile before I started having my head turned and was open to attention from others. That's when I went to counseling. Best I can recall.

[Stillness]

I will say, when my husband and I were happy together and all systems were firing, I was completely content. I never noticed men or thought of others.

Exactly. I really don't think it's any different for men. The key is "all systems were firing." I was the same with my first sexual relationship. I could not see other women. Apparently my wife is like this (or at least she was when we discussed it a few years ago). She was crushed to find out that I'm attracted to other women.

For me now it's more of an intellectual, principled loyalty. I'm thinking about the consequences and my obligation. It's not an automatic feeling. I really think it could be if my wife and I were closer. It's what I want, but don't know how to make it happen.

[Motorguy]

Well I been told by wife I'm a flirt. But I think it's more of a being nice to the opposite sex. My wife calls it flirting but it's the way I am with other women to be friendly and nice to other women. My wife jokes with me about it as she knows, I'm fully into her all the way that I would never stray to another women.

[muffin70]

I think it works both ways.... my wife knows that I find Actress Melissa McCarthy attractive and there is a plus size clothing store model (wife gets e-mails and their catalogue) that I also think is very attractive... my wife likes Justin Timberlake and recently saw the new Bridget Jones movie and confessed that Patrick Dempsey is a 'hunk' and that doesn't bother me at all.... I know there is no chance of her getting into bed with either of them... same with me and Melissa McCarthy.

[Lexhill]

I have to say I like to take a glimpse or watch beautiful women, my wife included. That does not mean I have a sudden urge to get physical, with other women. But it's about beautiful shapes and looks. Kinda like art for other people. I do agree that society kinda builds under BD's original post, in many movies and other things. I do however believe many guys still just appreciates the view. Sadly to many are going to far as well. When it comes to infidelity I believe it's more certain personalities who makes that leap.

I believe that couples should encourage each other to be able to look, but respectfully. I think that would make a lot more couples stay together as they don't have to hide themselves. It would also give partners the ability to know a lot better what their partners find more attractive.