[borkbork]

Okay, so I've struggled with vaginismus ever since I tried to have sex when I was 18. I was in a four year relationship and I was never physically able to have sex. Apparently my muscles tighten and basically don't allow passage. In my current relationship, we have made significant progress! I was able to get him all the way inside me and it was pretty uncomfortable. If I start out on top, it's not nearly as painful as starting in a different position. We've been able to do this about six or seven times now. It's not so much painful, as it is pressure. It's pretty hard to describe, but the pressure is toward my lower back/butt. It sort of feels like gas. But, it's there every single time we try to have sex. It's seriously uncomfortable and makes sex definitely unenjoyable for me. I'm curious what this pressure is and how to go about relieving it. Is this something anyone else has struggled with or something my doctor should figure out?

Thanks!

[Stillness]

There are physical therapists that specialize in treating this. They deal with incontinence, pelvic pain, and sexual issues. I recently heard one interviewed and he said that so many women suffer for years or decades when their issues are easily treatable nearly 100% of the time.

Apparently they're rare and normal ob-gyn's are not extremely familiar with what they do, but they're very good at it. Ask your gynecologist and maybe google "pelvic physical therapy."

[borkbork]

Thanks for replying! My gynecologist has referred me to pelvic floor therapy, but it's not always covered with insurance and requires free time in your schedule. I don't have the money or really the time for this with school and work.

[Ashlee T.]

Have you researched pelvic floor therapy to see if there is anything you could potentially do on your own? At home exercise don't take the place of PT but would be better than nothing I'm sure. This sounds like a pretty frustrating thing to do with. Sorry you're going through it.

[DreamP346]

Unfortunately PT is the only thing that really works and finding somebody who specializes in sexual issues is really hard. I can probably count on my hands how many there are in the US. I know its a lot of money and time, but you are talking about the rest of your sexual life. If not getting therapy meant cutting off your legs, would you still be saying you don't have money or the time? You have to make the time. Start saving. See what you can cut out in your life; cable, Starbucks, eating out, etc. Having a healthy sex life is part of your overall health and will lead to better relationships, better health and emotional happiness. Isn't that worth the cost and time?

also, most therapists offer discounts for people who don't have insurance coverage. They are always willing to work with you. My sex therapist professor used to offer college discounts, LGBT discounts, immigrant discounts, etc. She was always willing to work it out.

[amy40]

there is a book out there on healing pelvic pain which would help you cost wise but not time wise as the exercises take time

if you go for therapy, they can do myofascial release and other therapies but still may also give you home exercises
you could call first and find out if your insurance covers it and approx number of sessions needed

[borkbork]

I don't really think I need the therapy, though. I'm in so much debt as is with school and there is absolutely no way I would be able to afford it. I can't even afford food at the grocery right now. I think I'm past the muscle tension, because we can easily get him inside of me with no issue. It's just the pressure toward the back that I'm confused about. I don't know if I have like a shallow vagina or something, but I was just curious if this is a problem due to my condition or if it's something else.
Thanks for all the replies!

[Texasred]

Sex should never be uncomfortable or unenjoyable - and would your partner still want it if he knew that???

[borkbork]

In case anyone decides to visit this post in the future, my issue is pretty much resolved. One day, it just kind of worked. I mean we tried a little each week, probably. But it kind of started working randomly! I still have some issues when we first get started, but we've made tremendous progress!

[Hilaolmos]

Thanks for replying! My gynecologist has referred me to pelvic floor therapy, but it's not always covered with insurance and requires free time in your schedule. I don't have the money or really the time for this with school and work.

You should probably evaluate the option of changing your insurance company. If it won't make any difference in the given case it will help you in foreseeable future. Because that's should be covered by all the interpretations of what a common scene is. Here's, for example, a great option: company called