[patriceb]

just a little back story before i ask my question: i have been celibate for a few years. however before i began my celibacy journey, i was/am very sexually inexperienced. sooo

ive recently became sexually active a few months ago. me and my guy haven't had sex in about 3 weeks prior to most recent. so last weekend we're getting ready to have sex but he had difficulty penetrating my vagina. and it became so frustrating and lowkey embarrassing. and i'm wondering why? is this common after a long celibacy period? is it because i've been celibate for so long and when we went on that break, tightness regained? i've heard that sometimes the vagina needs to get reacquainted. any truth to that?

[jns]

Anecdotally, I believe that this is true, but a three week period is too short. I'm not sure that virgin tightness will result. Is it possible that you have gotten in shape and that had helped, too? Is it possible you did something that caused your muscles to tighten up? Was he super excited as that could make him slightly larger in diameter?

[amy40]

he had difficulty penetrating my vagina. and i'm wondering why

this happens to me if am not turned on enough and naturally wet

[Lithium]

Or maybe he was too nervous and thus not hard enough.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Foreplay is so important before penetration.

That's especially important if you haven't had sex for a very long time.

The biggest problem is women need to be sexually aroused before a man enters her.

Cuddling, hugging, having dinner together all those lovely things are important.

The problem these days is romance has gone.

The men are too eager to get in there.

The way it should be is hours of foreplay and you're drenched between the legs and all over your body.

If your not wet, then dont allow him in.

That can be a big source of problems long term because any kind of pain or discomfort inevitability leads to issues.

If a girls is dry dont enter, either get her wet or provide lube as a last resort.

I'm naturally careful, patient, gentle and if she ain't wet I dont go there.

A man must get her wet if she aint wet she aint ready. Simple.

If she is dripping wet then she's aroused and ready.

Ideally a man should wait till shes drenched and ideally at the threshold of orgasm before he enters, thats the ideal time to enter.

Do I need to keep saying it?

[Gstrick]

Foreplay is very important as the previous poster said.
but adding to that, sex is usually quite clumsy and embarrassing unless you have experience with that certain person. And even then it still can be.... best to laugh it off and and kiss, cuddle and play with each other until you are ready again

[Lithium]

The biggest problem is women need to be sexually aroused before a man enters her.

Problem is, a lot of guys think that if a girl is wet is because she is aroused already but we can be naturally wet and some days it can be really wet but... doesn't mean the girl is aroused. And yes, if the guy then goes for it well... it isn't pleasurable. It can be after a while (when she start to get aroused) or then she will just not be in the mood for herself since the partner is so selfish and either let him finish or just roll back and the date is over right there.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Well, wet to me means shes dripping wet not moist.

Blowing bubbles.

Sweat like bead of moisture on the top lip.

Obvious sweat on her face.

Her heart beating very fast.

Engorged breasts.

Glassy eyed.

Mount of Venus darkening and engorged thats what I mean.

In fact her whole body is wet or damp with like a strange perspiration.

Personally I caress till my arms are aching then switch back and forth between arms.

That effort usually relaxes and arouses most women.

Still ...

It depends on who we are talking about because no two girls are the same.

I dont know your sexual history and what you've endured.

Some girls have had years of abuse some none.

If you have had relatively good experiences then I would assume girl like you is relatively easy to achieve orgasm depends on your confidence and other factors that maybe I cannot understand or appreciate.

I generally myself dont have too many issues getting a women aroused.

If a man is intelligent, reasonably attractive kind, loving, patient, and caring im sure he can get a girl aroused but to what extent is hard to know for sure.

I don't make love to a women unless i feel shes aroused because not much point if she is dry or just not onto it.

Best not to have sex under those conditions.

I would seek to find out why she is not aroused.

Maybe shes tired, maybe she's stressed, maybe she anxious, maybe some dietary issue.

Maybe she on psyche drug that effect her labido.

Maybe she just wants a cuddle and to feel nurtured.

I know what you mean some men are just so insensitive and stupid they are rough and do really stupid things.

Like try to press g-spot that doesnt from what I know myself work or achieve anything except maybe pain.

Sure there is that paraurethral gland (Skenes gland) with 31 holes but what evidence is there to support that it produces some kind of pleasure??

Dildos do they achieve anything apart from deadening nerves?

Morning.

Little ....

Zzzz

[patriceb]

i should have mentioned that there was foreplay. and i was definitely turned on and wet enough.

[patriceb]

he did have trouble staying hard. could that have been a factor as well?