[danceintx]

My male partner of about 10 months has hardly ever orgasm from sex. The first time we had sex he told me he had cum from having sex 3-4 times his whole life. He is 40 years old. Since we have been having sex he has cum from sex 7 or times with me on top only. He cums from oral sex and masturbation normally. I'm pretty sure its totally a mental thing for him and doesn't bother me that bad but it would be nice for him to orgasm in me easier. Does anyone know of any techniques that can be used to help?

[atskitty2]

If it's also what he wants, he probably needs to stop the masturbating and oral for a time and only have sex. My guess is that he's become very used to the sensation of masturbation, or oral and other sensations are just less appealing.
Is he fairly inexperienced sexually?

If you're comfortable communicating with him, and he will open up about fantasies or other interests he has (such as positions), it may be helpful and the right time to try some new things.

[Ashlee T.]

Totally agree with kitty. If he wants a healthy sex life with you, he needs to give up the masturbation for a while and see if that makes a difference. The fact that he is able to do it with you on top sometimes tells me that it's a certain sensations he as acclimated himself to that he now needs to cum.

Maybe some of our male members will chime in.

[danceintx]

OMG!! You saying that made something dawn on me!!! Its him laying down. Even when getting oral in order to cum he has to be completely flat on the bed. makes sense! Why that hasn't dawned on him I don't know.

[brown magic]

Totally agree with kitty. If he wants a healthy sex life with you, he needs to give up the masturbation for a while and see if that makes a difference. The fact that he is able to do it with you on top sometimes tells me that it's a certain sensations he as acclimated himself to that he now needs to cum.

Maybe some of our male members will chime in.

Yes, I'm curious to hear what other men have to say on this issue. I'm a 34 yo male who masturbates 1-2 times per day and have been doing so since college (it was every other day in high school). I've never actually had any type of sex (vaginal, anal, oral, or a handjob) so I don't know for sure how I would react to a different stimulation. A few people have advised to stop masturbating as much as that might ruin sensitivity for sex, but I've always figured worse case scenario I'll just last a really long time and thats what women want anyways, so sounds like a win win to me.

[jns]

The sensation from piv sex is much different than fellatio, a hand job or masturbation. It creates an enveloping sensation, but not necessarily the tightness that the others create. The man has to use other muscles while doing it, for thrusting and maintaining balance. A real plus is that a guy engorges more just before climaxing and that produces additional tightness and sensation, which in turn produces a strong climax. A guy conditioned to masturbation and porn may have difficulty learning how to have piv sex.

danceintx try rolling over with him just before orgasm from you on top. Make sure your leg is folded so this can happen without him pulling out. I have done this before. This will give him a feel of the sensations created when he is in control of piv sex. Hopefully he will want to have those sensations again.

[muffin70]

well I'm in the 40 + age group and I can orgasm sitting down, lying down, standing up, on my knees or on top of my wife.......
does he get any good sensations from doggy style or missionary?

[stuartmathew]

I would recommend herbal orgasm enhancement pills for your male partner, because I had the same problem but after taking these pills, now I start enjoying my sexual life like I did in my youthful days.

[Texasred]

... I'm a 34 yo male who masturbates 1-2 times per day and have been doing so since college (it was every other day in high school). I've never actually had any type of sex (vaginal, anal, oral, or a handjob)...

I think I see the problem...
Try spending less time aline, and maybe you can meet someone you can relate to.

[WaveRider]

When I was in college, I knew a coed who dumped her b/f because all he wanted was head. After she tightened me up, I knew why he wanted it all the time. Dudes at that age are too naive to be dumb.

When my g/f was in high school, she gave head to one of her boyfriends almost exclusively. They rarely banged. She was young and naive, so she gave him head when he wanted, which was almost always. It was probably for the best. As much as she loved to have her brains banged out, she's very lucky she wasn't knocked up.