[Texasred]

why did you not just go ****ahem**** move his phone, grab his penis and ride it??? seriously this drama is over the top and im a woman for christ sake!! he masturbated so what? learn when hes horny, if you find its always at that time, pounce him at that time, if he gets out of bed etc to go masturbate, and you know it, grab him, by the rod, and initiate! hes obviously horny at these times capitalise on it! you will not believe how good the sex tends to be when they are that horny hun xx when they are ready for porn they are ready to go hard.

evie, I'm impressed with your deep understanding (I intentionally didn't use the term "grasp") of the male psyche...
:-)

[Ashlee T.]

Let me ask you this........... is it the masturbation that is getting to you or the fact that he wasn't forthcoming about it OR the fact that he was obviously watching porn or pics of some sort on his phone that were likely not of you? You first have to identify which part of this it is that is really gutting you.

I don't agree with the notion that a woman should "know when her man is horny". Where is his responsibility to COMMUNICATE? They've both been super busy, they've both been super tired. If he felt the urge for sex , why did he not initiate that sex with his wife? This isn't the 1950's after all. This is a couple who has been very sexually open and adventurous. If the OP is this upset by his behavior, we should consider their sexual past in that and know this is something very serious to her.

[WaveRider]

Hi Beautiful Dancer,

Communication has equal responsibility.

Too many men are reluctant to talk to their wives and girlfriends about sex. That's a huge mistake.

If he ain't talking, she's gonna have to initiate conversation if she wants to know why he's jacking off instead of doing her.

If I'm in a relationship, I ought to be able to talk to my g/f about sex. And she'll know that she can tell me anything about sex without judgments.

[Ashlee T.]

Hi Beautiful Dancer,

Communication has equal responsibility.

Too many men are reluctant to talk to their wives and girlfriends about sex. That's a huge mistake.

If he ain't talking, she's gonna have to initiate conversation if she wants to know why he's jacking off instead of doing her.

If I'm in a relationship, I ought to be able to talk to my g/f about sex. And she'll know that she can tell me anything about sex without judgments.

You mean, Beautiful Disaster?

Absolutely, it does. But if she's worn out and not super horny that doesn't mean she wouldn't do it if she knew he was wanting it. If he's acting like he doesn't want it, too tired,, but pleasing himself then that's not cool. This woman WANTS to please her husband. And yes, at this point she should initiate the conversations, but my comments were related to her upset over the fact he did it to begin with.

[easygoing]

Heavens, I can't believe I'm reading this. I'm a male and it's very difficult to discuss anything about sexuality with my wife. All the ladies here (and perhaps that says something obout this forum's members) seem to be so open minded and up-front. I wish the REAL WORLD was like this.

[Ashlee T.]

easygoing it could be a generational thing, perhaps. I think it's much more taboo for your generation. It's real world and even sometimes, too much so. Many people from my very "open" generation wish people were a bit quieter and more respectful about their intimate moments.

[amy40]

Heavens, I can't believe I'm reading this. I'm a male and it's very difficult to discuss anything about sexuality with my wife. All the ladies here (and perhaps that says something obout this forum's members) seem to be so open minded and up-front. I wish the REAL WORLD was like this.

agree with BD

after almost 50 yrs together, it seems your wife and you are in a pattern
and she is probably comfortable not discussing things

[jns]

Heavens, I can't believe I'm reading this. I'm a male and it's very difficult to discuss anything about sexuality with my wife. All the ladies here (and perhaps that says something obout this forum's members) seem to be so open minded and up-front. I wish the REAL WORLD was like this.

The benefits of an anonymous forum.

[easygoing]

easygoing it could be a generational thing, perhaps. I think it's much more taboo for your generation. It's real world and even sometimes, too much so. Many people from my very "open" generation wish people were a bit quieter and more respectful about their intimate moments.

Yes, some of the things I've opened up about are things that I could ONLY EVER SAY on a forum where I have anonymity. In fact there are intimate things I couldn't share here but might on a one to one basis via private messaging. But, as an old bloke with sexual issues, where does one turn to get advice? There is no-one in my life that I could confide in perhaps with the exception of my GP. And that would be both humiliating and embarrassing. JNS is right when he said "The benefits of an anonymous forum."

[Badhubby]

Did I read this right? U guys are/were swingers visited actual sex clubs but jerking off to mobile porn bothers u??