[MotherOfStorms]

Hi all!
I have been struggling with a low libido for the last 3 years now. No matter what I try, nothing helps. I will force myself to have sex to satisfy my husband and help ease his sexual frustration, but I just have the hardest time 'getting it up'.
I eat healthy, walk every morning, and work out every day. I don't drink soda or alcohol or even caffeine.
I just started cutting junk foods out of my life last year but I have noticed my libido is even WORSE now that I am the healthiest I have ever been.
I have spoken with 3 different doctors about it. All 3 brushed me off. They seemed uncomfortable and less than knowledgable with the subject.

It's getting to the point where my husband is so frustrated with me that he is taking it out on our son and I by yelling or shutting us out.

What do I do? I need to get past this and get back to actually WANTing sex. ):

PLEASE help!

[amy40]

I have spoken with 3 different doctors about it. All 3 brushed me off. !

welcome to the forum!

were the Drs male or female?

[atskitty2]

How old are you? Also, are you male or female? You say husband, and you have a child but you also say 'getting it up', so I want to be sure you're female. I think you're meaning "get it up" as a figure of speech, but I don't want to assume.

Neither doc made any suggestions about hormonal checks?
Were either of the docs your gyno?

How is the relationship otherwise? And how was your sex life in general prior to your libido drop?

[Ashlee T.]

I have the same questions as the others with two additions: Do you take birth control? What is you age?

What you're experiencing isn't uncommon, but unfortunately, gets treated as such by most doctors. A coworker of mine is going to see a hormone specialist. People swear by this doctors ability to balance and level hormones.

[MotherOfStorms]

To answer all of your questions, my doctors have all been male. I am a 24-year old female.
I was using 'getting it up' as a figure of speech lol.
My libido has never been very high, but it has also never been this low.
5 years ago I struggled with serious vaginal pain during sex due to psoriasis plaques down there.
We went without sex for about 8 months during that time while I fought doctors and insurance to get it taken care of.
(We are military....the medical we get is...well, subpar.)
I don't take birth control. I used to but it made me a giant *****.

So when I speak to my doctor next, I will ask about seeing a hormone specialist. I never thought of that!
Is there anything I should ask, or any other possible referrals I can seek out?
I really want to get back to normal.

Thank you!

[atskitty2]

Are you taking any other medications to treat your psoriasis, or autoimmune condition? How are you doing with that, and your health and symptoms overall?

I think a good evaluation and thorough hormonal workup would be good. It may be that you're naturally just less wanting than he is, since you always had a low sex drive. That's something to consider and accept if everything else is fine.

Would you and hubs be open for counseling? I think it's time to consider that, if he's yelling and managing his frustrations in such unhealthy ways. Whatever is happening with your libido, it may be quite awhile before it improves, and that may not be a dramatic change.

[Texasred]

Regarding the doctor: tell the endocrinologist the whole story, that you want your libido back, and let him or her take it from there. If they don't, find someone else. Keep in mind also that insurance is not the only way of paying for medical care: there is also cash...

[amy40]

good luck, mother of storms, hope you can find a Dr to help you that also won't charge you outrageous prices
I was wondering if the Drs were male since they brushed you off and see they were
hoping you will find someone to listen/help you

[Angel Colvin]

Hi.
Causes of low libido could be:
Low testosterone –- This is the male hormone responsible for puberty transformations. Reduced amounts of this male hormone will surely bring about reduced sex drive.

Uncontrolled exercises -– Lack of exercises is harmful to sexual appetite. The same goes for exhaustive exercises with no rest. This includes spending long hours at work with little or no rest.

Drug abuse -– Some men will turn to drugs as a consolation for failed sexual performances. A consultation the drugs may prove to be but will ultimately lead to full-blown erectile dysfunction.

Prescription medications –- Patients taking some forms of prescription medication will find it hard to achieve steel erections or even be in the mood to have sex.

Depression/stress -– Stress is a major libido killer. This includes having unsettled issues in your relationship. A professional once provided an analogy; better you spend a hundred dollars with a partner at a dinner and discuss a dollar lost somewhere in your daily chores than let the same go unaddressed.

You can increase it with natural methods, such as:
Get dark chocolate
Dark chocolate is said to help reduce stress and anxiety levels linked to low sex drive.

Take fruits
You will not find much scientific reports linking fruits to high sexual appetite. However, the very fact that fruits promote general sexual health is good enough. Fruits such as bananas as well as avocados are a good place to start with.

No drugs, please
Abusing drugs is disastrous to your libido. For one, they kill your self-esteem. Second, they promote loss of sexual appetite especially when addictive.

Take some time out
Too much work without play…Well, it will strip all your natural drive to engage in sexual intimacies.

Check your relationship
Be a master of your relationship; not bossy though. This mostly goes for men. Remember that women care more about emotional intimacy, just as much as the physical part means much to you.

[eschaad1]

Hi there,
I'm having the same issue..over the last few years my libido took a dive. I'm in a healthy happy relationship so it's frustrating. Some things I've learned to look at are: hormone balance (low testosterone can be to blame), endocrine imbalance, and low dopamine (if you've taken a lot of pain killers, you can have low dopamine and there's a direct link to libido). I'm going to try taking something called l-dopa to see if it helps. Good luck! Wishing you relief..